Adoption

kwilbraham

If you couldn't get pregnant with a second would you consider adoption?  I have been thinking a lot about it lately.  Well, moreover, I have been thinking more about egg donation vs. adoption.  I didn't have any issues getting pregnant with my daughter, so all these thoughts are so new to me!  I often lay awake at night thinking, what will I do if I never get pregnant again?  Would I just be done?  Would I adopted? Would I consider an egg donor?  Anyone else mowing over these issues in their mind? I know they are all great options and it's just such an individual choice, but just wondering who else ponders these questions?

mrs25

I think about all those things all the time. I brought up a few of them to my husband last night, who told me I think too much and too far into the future,but I just can't help it.  I think all the things you mentioned are right or wrong for different people for different reasons. Does your gut/intuition hope for one over the others?

SigmundsGirl

I had trouble conceiving DS, so DH and I had this talk about 3 years ago. We discussed how far we would go down the IF road and whether or not we were willing/able to care for an adopted child.

Our lives would have been very different if we would never have had DS. We decided that we would have stopped at IVF and we wouldn't have adopted. These were decisions that we didn't make lightly and I see my SIL struggling with them now as she has gone through her first IVF cycle with a BFN.

I am actually at peace with the decisions we made back then and feel the same way the second time around.

Best of luck as you make these tough decisions.

AprilDrew04

Before conceiving DD we had begun talking about and looking into adoption.  We only had to go as far as DH having surgery and taking clomid to conceive.  Now we are faced with IUI or possibly IVF.  We have talked and at this point in ttc #2 we are willing to go as far as a few IUI cycles.  We just can't afford IVF.  We are open to adoption.  I really want at least 3-4 kids so even if we conceive #2 I would like to adopt still.  Even though I am open to adopting a child, I can't see myself using donor sperm or ovum.

I know for certain that I will never go back to protected sex or be on BC again.  I asked DH how he would feel about a surprise miracle after we thought we had finished our family and he said he was fine with it.   See you are not the only who can't help but think about the future.

 

JMay

I thought DH would never consider it, then, a few months ago, when we thought we were done with treatment, he brought it up.  I was surprised by my reaction - I had always thought I'd love to adopt but when he mentioned it, and I thought it was my only option, I got really, really angry.  I did some research but decided not to push myself.  I want it to be a choice, not a last resort, and I know I'll have a lot of healing to do before I can move forward, in order to be fair to the child.  It's still on the table, but we're still in the consideration phase.