Advice needed for FTM please! — The Bump
Military Families

Advice needed for FTM please!

How did/do you deal with visiting family once LO arrives? How do you delegate who comes first, who stays where, etc. How do you you deal with MIL?

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Re: Advice needed for FTM please!

  • So far my parents are the only ones who have come to visit and I really don't see DH's family ever visiting as they'd rather spend their vacation time in FL... My IL's only ever see DD when we go home and visit them. 

    For you though, I'd say that your family would have the first visit and then DH's family can visit second. If you have room for family to stay with you then let them but if not they should be okay with getting a hotel. As far as dealing with your MIL, grin and bear it, or smile and nod... 
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  • DH is deploying right before she is born... like a week or 2 before he leaves.  I am having my mom come for the birth and to stay for 2 weeks (the max amount of time she can have off work).  Then I'm going to have MIL/FIL come and stay for about a week.  We have a 4 bedroom house so they will be staying at our place.

    Even if DH was home, I wouldn't let his parents come until after my mom had left.  That is just way too many people wanting time with the baby.  I would rather have the help spread out and then they could each have more time with her. 

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  • For us it's just always worked out that they are available to come at different times. They stay with us because we have a guest room. 

    If they both want to come at the same time, I'd give preference to whoever's schedule is less flexible. For example, DH's parents are president and vice president of their respective companies so they can pretty much make their own schedules. My mom, on the other hand, has a very full schedule and getting consecutive days off can be difficult for her. In that situation, I'd give my mom preference if she were already planning to come at a specific time.  

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  • Honestly, I would chose whom ever YOU, the patient, is most comfortable with, to come first.  Between my episiotomy and breast feeding issues, my INLAWS were not welcome the first couple of weeks. Hell, my father wasn't welcome, given my less that modest behavior with my boob.  

    So I would calmly present that  reasoning to my DH. You want the first couple of weeks, where you are just out of a major medical situation and into some pretty intense schedule and feeding unknowns, to be as stress free as possible.  So ONLY your mommy (if that is what you want) to help clean your stitches and position your boob and give your INLAWS the calmer, more controlled time afterward. 

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