discipline and autism tendencies.

lazysusan

my oldest is 5.  He has a seizure disorder that's controlled.  He's in kindergarten this year and really struggling socially.  A lot of what he does seems like immaturity, but he also does things that are atypical.  He's in a social group, small group, and speech for pragmatics and articulation.  He's ahead in his reading, math, and writing.  I think he really wants to get involved with his friends at school, but has a hard time initiating in a group.  He will use negative attention to try to get involved.  What has me most frustrated lately is discipline.  He has a hard time taking ownership or seeming to understand if he did something wrong.  He doesn't seem to understand how it impacts others.  How do I help him take ownership, and have more empathy even if it's more his head than his heart right now?  

lazysusan

auntie, you always blow me away!  I'm not sure the curriculum.  It's a kindergarten group as many need the social help.  He's also in a small group with the school psychologist and another friend with "similar social goals." He's also been referred to a committee to help with strategies in the classroom for tantrums and playing with friends.  (he can be on the anxious perfectionist side).  He was recently given 2 social stories.  one for each of these issues.  He enjoys these.  He's got a lot great potential, but a unique path to get there.  Some days I think he's ok, but more and more I'm recognizing what he's struggling with is beyond just being 5.  I'm all for testing.  My DH is not on board yet.  He wants to continue to work with him and give him time.  He thinks DS is just immature.  I am working on DH, but don't want to alienate him.  We brought it up with the neurologist last week.  She and DS's teacher are being diplomatic, but feel testing couldn't hurt.  DH really rationalizes a lot of his behavior.  Thank God the district we're in is so proactive with services.  Likely he would be getting what he is now with or without a diagnosis.  The process of time will tell a lot, but it's hard for me to wait it out.  This discipline and empathy thing I definitely don't want to wait for.  I will look into the curriculum you suggested.