WWIFD regarding being invited to 18 year old niece's baby shower?

HappyIAm

This is my husbands niece.  They are having a small shower at DH's sisters house next weekend and I just got the invite. DH had mentioned really wanting me to go.  This is 5 days after my beta. I just don't know how I will be able to handle it if Monday is negative.  We also have to travel 4 hours to get there so it's not just like I could pop in and drop off a gift.

BeeBee08

Tough one, but I think you should play it by ear.  If you feel up to it the day of then I think you should go, otherwise don't torture yourself, there is nothing wrong with taking time to yourself.  Honestly though, I would never drive four hours for a baby shower even if I wasn't going through IF! Fingers crossed that if you don't go it's because you and DH are celebrating!!  Good Luck.

reb259

So I am a little bitter but if it were me I would not go.  I am personally against baby showers, was even before we started down the IF road.  If I ever get pregnant I would not have one.  I never go to them and I never send a gift.  If you need someone to throw you a party so you can have/get baby essentials, you might want to think twice about having a baby...they are expensive not dolls.  If someone really wants to buy you something for the baby, they will, you don't have to have a shower.  I always buy something after the baby is born for close friends and family.

Roxie5739

BeeBee08:

Tough one, but I think you should play it by ear.  If you feel up to it the day of then I think you should go, otherwise don't torture yourself, there is nothing wrong with taking time to yourself.  Honestly though, I would never drive four hours for a baby shower even if I wasn't going through IF! Fingers crossed that if you don't go it's because you and DH are celebrating!!  Good Luck.

Exactly this. 4 hours is a big time commitment and it would be unreasonable of them to expect you. Send a gift only IMO.

kellyrn9956

4 hours? No way! There's your "out" right there.

eponine7682

kellyrn9956:

4 hours? No way! There's your "out" right there.

Exactly. You could always say you will try and see how you feel once the time comes too.

kmkaull2

As much as I try to be positive about friend/relative pregnancies . . . and I am usually the one to GIVE the shower.  I just don't think I could do this one.  Be kind to yourself and just send a gift.  She'll get over it.

MandaS08

kellyrn9956:

4 hours? No way! There's your "out" right there.

Exactly! 

annalisel

Unless you have a girlfriend relationship with your DH's sister, I'd decline and not feel the slightest bit guilty.

MelleTX

Skip the shower, send a gift.

Mitzi Bishi

There's no way I'd go. My teen cousin also recently had a child and I sent a gift with my mom after thoughts of offering to adopt him and feeling angry that teens get wrapped up in things they have no idea about. 

Can you send something either to a guest who can wrap and give it or send something directly?  

While it's sweet your husband is encouraging I think you should see how you feel without taking his opinion into the decision making.  

jenjen930

with gas prices the way they are i would just use that as an excuse.  send a gift, and don't torture yourself. 

conradtn

MelleTX:

Skip the shower, send a gift.

This!

There is no way I'd drive 4 hours for a 1 1/2 hour party. You're in the car much longer than you'd even be there.

kmc84

MelleTX:

Skip the shower, send a gift.

This!! Four hours is a long drive and IF aside, 8 hours in the car to go to a teenagers baby shower would have me very cranky!!

Whales124

Just send a gift - I am finally starting to realize the importance of protecting yourself from these situations.  You have a lot going on - take care of yourself and save the gas money!