Toddler refuses to Skype with deployed dad

Dancer6978

Anyone else have this happen?

My husband was deployed when our son was born, and both he and I (but mostly he) have been TDY several times since then.

Right after the New Year , my husband went TDY for six weeks. My son, as always, had zero issues, and we Skyped every day.  My husband then came home for two weeks, after which he deployed.  It's been about two weeks since he deployed, and my son (28 months) flips OUT any time my husband Skypes us.  Whereas in the past he used to laugh and smile and "kiss" his dad through the computer, now he throws a tantrum (all-out screech fest) and cries for 20-30 minutes, even after we've hung up on Skype.  Needless to say, the conversations aren't productive at all. And as of right now we are still Skyping every day because they haven't had to fly yet (fortunate, I know).

I get the fact that he's two and doesn't understand and is trying to cope in his own way, but why is this all of a sudden different?  And even if no one knows why it's different, does anyone have ideas of how to make it better? I've tried getting my son "pumped up" and excited before the Skype call, without luck.  Even better, right before my husband called us tonight, our son had just Skyped with my dad for almost an hour, with no problems. (Yeah, you could surmise he might have been sick of Skype by then, but he still throws tantrums, regardless of if he's just Skyped with someone else....or not).  Honestly, my husband feels horrible, our son is miserable, and I don't know what to do. :P (And we need to get this figured out soon because I'll be heading out the door, too.)

Thanks in advance for any suggestions! 

pesci12

DD was 14 months when H left for his deployment.  The first couple weeks were difficult skyping.  DD would sit nice at first and then reach for the screen wimpering.  When she realized her dad couldn't pick her up, she would literally throw herself to the floor crying.  It broke H's heart. She would continue to cry hysterically for about 20 minutes after I ended the call.  It happened a few more times before she got over it.  She is 18 months now and doesn't do it anymore, but will only sit for a few minutes because she would much rather play with her toys than skype.  She's like this when we skype my ILs and sister too, but will sit still for 45 min when we talk to my parents. 

Hopefully, it's temporary for your son.

SoftSpot

I know your H probably wants to see him, but I wouldn't push it. He may just starting to process that Daddy isn't coming home & that could scare him. 2 is young for you to expect him to understand. I wouldn't put any emphasis on the Skype call & just chat with your H. If your H asks to see your son then point the computer/web cam at him playing on the floor (or wherever he is). 

Emilia0101

My DD has her moments. She is 2.5 so she understands Daddy is at work/gone etc, but doesn't understand why he is at work and has to leave her. I learned to place zero expectations on Skyping. I will chat with my DH if she wants to converse great, but I don't try to do the big build up or forcing the computer on her because I found it was making it more stressful. Once I stopped the expectations things got much better.

iluvmytxrgr

He's two. This is normal behavior. Don't force it. When you Skype, just let him play in the background. If he wants to say hi, he'll come say hi. If not, leave it alone. 

tslmom87

iluvmytxrgr:

He's two. This is normal behavior. Don't force it. When you Skype, just let him play in the background. If he wants to say hi, he'll come say hi. If not, leave it alone. 

This! DD comes and goes as she pleases, no need to make her sit and "talk" to him. He will talk to her and she will babble back and go about her business, that is a normal skype call for us, no stress!

Chelsey68

My son lacked interest in talking to his dad over yahoo messanger. Well some way or another my husband found a way to make these animations pop up on the screen. He could put himself inside a pumpkin, he had a viking ship. Just random animations. My son thought it was hilarious.