Getting cold feet about IVF(ticker warning)

rjade9

We are supposed to start BCP and Lurpron sometime this month once AF shows up, then tentative ER/ET sometime in April.  I was so sure about all of this in the begining but now I am getting more and more scared every day.

I know we have pretty severe MFI and with the numbers we more than likely would never get a bfp on our own, but I keep thinking we did one time why couldn't it work this time.  Am I jumping the gun? Is our timing that bad?  Is there other things we could try before we jump to IVF for dh's morphology to increase so we might be able to do IUI?

I hate feeling like this and I almost feel guilty for feeling like this.  Anyone else ever felt like this?

Mayan2011

Good morning sweets.  I am sorry you are second guessing everything.  IF brings with it a whole big box of anxiety so I think your feelings are quite normal. 

Did your DH see a urologist?  Is he open to seeing an acupuncturist - for supp recs as well as treatments? 

Other things to think about are your age and how long you might be willing to try something else.  Also, IVF doesn't always work on the first (or second or third) try so I would consider this when you are looking at potential timelines.

GL with your decision.

rjade9

Mayan2011:

Good morning sweets.  I am sorry you are second guessing everything.  IF brings with it a whole big box of anxiety so I think your feelings are quite normal. 

Did your DH see a urologist?  Is he open to seeing an acupuncturist - for supp recs as well as treatments? 

Other things to think about are your age and how long you might be willing to try something else.  Also, IVF doesn't always work on the first (or second or third) try so I would consider this when you are looking at potential timelines.

GL with your decision.

DH saw a urologist for quite some time awhile back when he had testicular cancer and post chemo.  Post chemo numbers were 4mil and 6mil, not sure about morph or motility, so they have fluctuated quite a bit

DH just turned 35 and really wants to get this process going (as do I) but I just want to make sure we are doing the right thing.  I also feel terrible because I always think why didn't he freeze his sperm!  He said he never even thought to because the md told him he wouldn't have trouble concieving, what doctor says that!?

The thought of IVF not working scares the sh!t out of me, were 100% OOP and very blessed that dh's work bonus he gets every feb. is going to cover it but its still so expensive!

 

angela2004

Have you talked to your RE about the chances of iui working? The thought of IVF is scary but the girls on the board have been so helpful and forthcoming with their experiences that I am not nearly as scared as I was before. Good luck with whatever choice you make.

luvboston

Sorry you are having second thoughts. In my opinion from everything I have read you would be wasting time and money on IUI. IVF really isn't that big of a deal once you get started, I was apprehensive about doing IVF because of all the needles and everything but once I got started I felt like it was a character building exercise. I thought it was absurd we had to do IVF after getting pg 4 times but then I thought of all the reasons we were doing it and mourned the fact we could not stay pg on our own and moved on. The best advice I have is to mourn the life you thought you were going to have except the new one and move forward. GL

MelleTX

luvboston:

Sorry you are having second thoughts. In my opinion from everything I have read you would be wasting time and money on IUI. IVF really isn't that big of a deal once you get started, I was apprehensive about doing IVF because of all the needles and everything but once I got started I felt like it was a character building exercise. I thought it was absurd we had to do IVF after getting pg 4 times but then I thought of all the reasons we were doing it and mourned the fact we could not stay pg on our own and moved on. The best advice I have is to mourn the life you thought you were going to have except the new one and move forward. GL

This. The decision to move on to IVF is hard for anyone. I have second-guessed myself a billion times throughout this process. But before I was comfortable moving on to a more aggressive treatment plan, I really had to stop and mourn the loss of the life I thought I was going to have.  It's hard, but I acknowledged it and then let it go. Now, I feel much better about IVF. 

The expense is a hard pill to swallow some times. Right now, I think of all the other things I could do with $15k. A down payment on a new house, grad school, a European vacation all come to mind. In the end though, none of those things would ever make up for not having a child. And if this does work, I will never regret spending the money.I really had to put the money side out of my head.

Your feelings and doubts are perfectly normal. Good luck to you in whatever you decide. 

lincoln79

mh is also a testicular cancer survivor. we have had one failed iui already and are gearing up for number two.

if that doesn't work, we are onto ivf.

for us, we have some evidence that while mh sperm counts are pretty good, there is some DNA damage from cancer/treatment.

from my understanding, if we do ivf we will at least now that the sperm fertilized the egg and was viable enough to grow before transfer.

with iui, you are really in the dark about that fact.

we are lucky enough to have insurance, but it requires iui before it will cover ivf.

i think if we were oop, we would have just gone to ivf.

hope this perspective helps and i wish you peace as you and yh make a decision.