Paging Birthmoms :-)

Honeydew1894

I am curious, what was it about the family you chose to parent that made you choose them?  

Patches08

Hi! I wanted a local family and the agency I was working with asked about the race of my child, she had a chance of being mixed racial. Her biological grandfather is 1/2 black (biological grandmom is white) just that factor alone narrowed my selection down to two families. If anyone remembers seeing any of my photos, DD is a fair skinned, blond hair & green eyed beauty. I looked at DD's parents profile and it just clicked. I wanted a young Christian couple without any other kids (I wanted DD to be their first as she was my first). I wanted a stay at home mom and the ability for her to attend Mennonite school. I wanted a middle class family.. just like how I grew up.. all those items fit DD's family to a T. The other couple had a young son through adoption, had a huge house and vacation cabin, both had college degrees and were older (40's). DD's parents were 28 when she was born. We had SO much in common!! It was almost unrealistic. I think it's all of those common factors and the trust we built over the last 8 years that helped seal the glue to our relationship. That's not to say I didn't browse online profiles but in all honestly, I never would have picked an online profile unless it was something my agency had directed me to.

hersheykiss

I will tell you that it wasn't just the pictures, it was a letter of recommendation in one of the profiles. K's APs had 2 children already but that wasn't a factor. The letter said that the dad would get up and leave work meetings because he had made previous plans with his daughter. That is exactly what my dad did when I was little. When I read that it clicked for me. I didn't have to see or read anything else. So you never know what it could be. I will tell you that the "you just know" feeling is close to realizing that you significant other is the one you want to marry and you realize you have fallen in love with someone. I hope that made sense. 

srmmm09

We met LO's APs through a mutual friend. But there was a lot that I liked. They already had a daughter (I didn't want LO to be an only child). They were musical; BF and I are very musical. They were very committed to God and their church, and I had just become a Christian. And they were sweet people. BF was a sensitive guy who didn't have sensitive parents, and it messed him up IMO. I wanted LO to have the opportunity to grow up in an environment that didn't force him to be someone he wasn't.

I know this all depends on your worldview, but I really think that the birthmom whose LO is meant to be your child will know when she's found you. Or I pray that's true! It was so, so helpful for me to really feel sure, like Hershey said. You just know.

mom2emb

hersheykiss:

So you never know what it could be. I will tell you that the "you just know" feeling is close to realizing that you significant other is the one you want to marry and you realize you have fallen in love with someone.

I totally agree with this.  I had just three profiles to choose from, and then limited it to two because I didn't want DS to be an only child.  I can't tell you, beyond that, what made the decision for me.  I "just knew".