Anyone else's dh act like a big baby

ClaudiaStar21

My dh has always gotten frustrated when things don't work out at planned but it has gotten worse since ds was born. He gets soooo upset if he doesn't get to do something he wanted like go snowboarding (like if it's raining) he is grumpy all day   I was looking up Sesame Place this morning to look into going this summer (ds loves Elmo). And dh got annoyed that ds won't even enjoy it and I never look into things that he would like. He apologized later but I feel like he is just frustrated how our lives have changed. 

I love so much my life now. Even the chores we have to do. I just feel like this is a big adjustment for him and it makes me sad.

I don't really know why I'm writing this other then to process what I'm feeling but if anyone has advice, I'm open to it.  

imurs8228

DH and I fought over having kids for a long time - he knew he wanted them but not for like 4 more years, and I wanted them ASAP.  When I finally agreed to stop begging him and wait 2 years, DS decided to pop in and say hi.  It was seriously a huge struggle for DH because he was excited but was very unready.  He loved that we were spontaneous and could run out whenever we wanted, we went to the movies every weekend, lots of vacations and dates.  DS is 7.5 months now and DH is *almost* completely happy.  I started making it a point to do dates (even with LO) on the weekends, whether it be the zoo or museums, whatever.  I try to give him tons of PDA because I know he missed that.  I try to include him in super fun stuff like finger painting or pictures with LO.  MOST IMPORTANTLY, I let him have more video game time.  I've given up a lot of my tv time so that he can have an hour or two after DS goes to bed to just do what he used to do.  It's gotten a lot better. 

Maybe this wasn't super helpful but talk to your DH and see what he feels is missing.  It sounds like a new person has all of your attention and he's a little jealous that the baby's favorite things come first.  On one hand, he needs to get over it, but on the other hand, just like my DH, you have to help him adjust.

HTH!

ClaudiaStar21

Thank you. Your reply was helpful i think he is missing the attention. Being a working mom with a long commute I put all my energy into ds cause I hate being away from him and want to spend as much time with him as possible. 

I feel bad he is having a hard time but being a parent is hard. Maybe he just needs a little more time to adjust and a little more attention. Thank you for replying. I appreciate it.  

Snapdragon750

ClaudiaStar21:

I was looking up Sesame Place this morning to look into going this summer (ds loves Elmo). And dh got annoyed that ds won't even enjoy it and I never look into things that he would like. He apologized later but I feel like he is just frustrated how our lives have changed. 

I was coming in here to commiserate, but your DH has a point here.  DS will be happy this summer no matter what you do and isn't old enough to really get so much out of seeing Elmo, so you are really going because it's something you want to do.  Which is fine.  But you have to also acknowledge that there are things your husband wants to do too, and you need to respect that too.

You said you love your life, and that's great!  But having a baby is a huge adjustment for dads as well as moms, and it shouldn't make you sad.  It's a fact.  He can no longer just up and go anywhere he wants.  If he wants to take a snowboarding trip (which he probably wants to do more now than ever because it's a break from all the new responsibilities), he has to not only plan the trip, but okay it with you first.  So it's understandable that after doing all of that, and getting really excited about getting away for a bit (wouldn't you?), he's super disappointed if it goes and rains.

It's great that you love your life, even the new chores.  It truly is.  Just try to be understanding that it's not that way for everybody, including your husband.  It sounds like he's trying to change his attitude (he apologized after all).  So try to change yours too, and help him adjust by taking the baby this summer to someplace he wants to go.  I promise your LO will love it just as much as seeing Elmo.