Vent: family (long)
I'm still irritated by a convo I had last night and maybe it will help to get it off my chest. ?Call bro to wish him a happy bday. ?I was tired, emotional and wanted to keep it short and sweet. ?He starts in on a speech about how much he cares about us, how sorry he is, how he's been monitoring from afar (through my mom) but giving me space....it went on for minutes. ?It has been almost two months since our last loss and I hadn't heard a word from him. ?Not an email, message, nothing. ?I'm so sick of the "giving you space" thing I could scream! ?A simple I'm sorry and letting me bring it up when I want to talk about it is perfect. ?Instead I cried for the second time when I got off the phone. ?
Then I send an email to my parents on all the info from the doctor last week. ?Because where the heck do I start to try to explain it in a conversation??? ?I just wanted them to be informed and again an "I'm sorry. ?Anything we can do?" is appropriate. ?Instead my mom gets judgmental on how we should adopt and my dad tells us to get a second opinion, which would actually be a third opinion at this point.
I can't deal with everyone else's emotions in addition to my own. And everybody thinks it is about wanting a baby and not being able to have one. ?No, it is that I already have babies, we just can't see them or hold them. ?Why doesn't anybody get that?
I should talk to all of them about what is appropriate and what isn't, but I just feel so much bottled up that it won't come out right.
Oh boy, it is going to be a long day.?
Re: Vent: family (long)
OMG, i completely could've just written that myself. ?Except for my sister, my family is completely the worst at helping me deal with this. They say all the wrong things and have made it even worse so i dont even call them anymore. ?My mom has taken it on as her "cause" and is telling everyone about everything, which to me is my personal information that i dont want shared...ugh, so frustrating. ?And this isnt the first time...when we found out we were pg, i specifically told her that we werent telling people until after the 1st trimester so for her not to tell people either. ?The next day she sends out a mass email to everyone she knows telling them about it. Then when we found out we were cf carriers, she's calling me to get more info because she's telling people at work about it. ?When i finally get on to her about telling people all this stuff and not respecting my wishes, she tells me i'm being paranoid and that i'm young and healthy and nothing ?bad will happen. ?Um, right...because being young and healthy is clearly foolproof when you're pg. ?And yes, the worst happened. ?
My bff is due 2 weeks after i would have been due and her and her mom (family friends that we've known since we were born and spend every holiday with) didnt even acknowledge me until 3 weeks after we lost our baby. ?3 weeks! ?They say they were giving me space too but i think that's the worst thing ever...why do people think that it's ok to not even let you know by voicemail, email or whatever that they're thinking of you and care if you're ok. ?Seriously. ?And then i was annoyed when she finally did text (not even call) to see if i was ok, so now they think i'm just jealous of them and said that i need to get over it. ?I'm pretty sure things will never be the same with us...it hurt too much for me.
Okay sorry to vent on your post. ?i completely understand. ?Hopefully you have great support with your dh and a couple friends...i've found quality support is better than quantity. ?I hope your day gets better!
At this point, an honest "all I need from you is love and support. When it's opinions I am looking for I will ask outright for them" My family drove me nuts in an opposite way...they all called and tried to be compeltely normal and NOT ask about it...even though you could tell they wanted to. I stopped answering the damn phone.
I'm so sorry they are being this way. But when they do start treating you normally, or force normally, it can be worse sometimes...but heck they should give it a shot!