It's Official. I have PPD.

jgeiman

Post-Partum Depression, that is.

My mom insisted that I make an appt with my doctor, and I went yesterday. She said she'd seen signs of it almost immediately after I delivered, and I was getting worse instead of better.
My OB agreed that it was PPD. We talked for a while, and he said he didn't think there was anything external causing it, that it was attributed strictly to the chemical / hormonal imbalance following delivery.
And, of course, the trouble I had delivering, and my difficult recovery, didn't help any.
He gave me a prescription for Lexapro, but anticipates that I'll be able to go off of it in 1 - 2 months, once my ovaries start regulating my hormones again.
He also advised me to talk to my pediatrician to see if we could stop waking DD up in the middle of the night to eat (she had weight gain issues early on). Doc says that sleep deprivation just makes PPD even worse.

So, pretty much the reason I decided to post this is because I have a hard time believing that I'm the only one who has suffered from PPD. But it's one of those things that no one ever wants to talk about. Which sometimes makes it even harder to deal with.

So if anyone else has PPD, or thinks they might, I just want you to know that you're not alone. And if you ever want to talk, you can page me here, or email me at geimanj at yahoo.

Thanks.

brokenhearted08

It's great that you were able to get help.  I also had PPD after the birth of my first child and was on Lexapro for about six months.  I don't know if this will help, but I didn't have PPD after my second child so every pregnancy is different in case you plan on having more chldren and are worried about PPD again.

cat81305

I am sorry that you are going through this and I am glad you are willing to talk about it.  I was fortunate to not have it with DS but I know many do get it.  I am glad you were able to talk to your OB and get some help before it got worse!  Take care of yourself!

teacherjess

Thanks for posting this. I also had PPD and was lucky to be diagnosed early, at only one week postpartum when I went in for another issue. I was a wreck. I went on Lexapro and had to double the dosage a few weeks later when it kept wearing off around 5:00. It did take about 4 weeks for it to fully kick in to the point where I felt semi-normal.

You are not the only one. If you ever go over to the 0-6 month board, there are a TON of girls taking anti-depressants for PPD. I was able to begin going off Lexapro at 3 months postpartum, and fully at 3.5 months postpartum. I hope you have the same luck.

I think it's important to remember that you don't have to have a history of depression or even depression in your family to have PPD. I have never had either and have never been on an anti-depressant. I figured this would just never happen to me. It is devastating, though. I think back to my first few weeks home with the baby and it is just a blur. My parents and ILs came and stayed with us for three weeks and basically did everything, down to more or less getting me out of bed and getting me to eat. It is horrible to remember.

So no, you are not the first person to go through this. I think it is wonderful you posted this, especially given the number of moms-to-be on this board. It really is one of those things that makes you think, "Oh, that must be hard...but that would never happen to me because I can't wait for my baby to be here." It's just not like that, though. The hormones are so crazy. Even though I'm still kind of embarrassed about what happened (I know I shouldn't be, but I still am), I've made it my mission to get the word out to any of our friends who have had babies-- letting them know that if they feel sad, or confused, or despondent, that it's not always normal and it's important to call a doctor. I'm so glad you were able to get the help you need. Good luck on Lexapro-- it was wonderful for me.

taylormillgirl

It's also important to know that YOU CAN BREASTFEED and still take medication for PPD. When I talked to my nurse practitioner a couple months postpartum about possible PPD, she said there was nothing that could be done for me since I was nursing. So two more months went by. Finally, I was so distraught that I called back and spoke to my OB (not the nurse practitioner). She said that nursing women take meds for PPD all the time, and she prescribed a very small dose of Zoloft (which does not make it into your milk). Within a week, I was feeling like myself again.

I'm still pissed at the misinformation the NP gave me. I feel like I wasted several months with my baby feeling like a hormonal wreck instead of enjoying every minute with him.

I stopped taking the Zoloft after about a month on it. My periods became regular again, and I guess my body "evened itself out."

bgsugrad

Thanks for the post - I too was diagnosed with PPD with no family history or past history of depression, it was strictly hormonal and lasted 2 months (also when my DD started STTN - which was a life saver)...I was depressed, confused, sad, and then guilty that I even had all these feelings during what was supposed to be such a wonderful time in my life - the birth of my 1st child.  I do think there is such a "stigma" that this should be the most precious time (and it is, I'm not saying it isn't) but society tells us all these feelings we should be feeling (and luckily some people do) - but like me, when you don't feel all the joy and happiness you think you should be feeling, you feel like there is something wrong with you and I felt like such an ugly person.  It wasn't until after I was home and settled and my DH went back to work that it really seemed to take a hold of my life.  My DH was a HUGE support to me and really watched for the signs and pushed me to talk to the doctor about it.  I did ask my doctor for meds, however she was not quick to put me on them  - she wanted me to wait and see if things were any better/worse - while she did not ignore my concerns, she called weekly to see how I was doing ....sure enough, for me, it was like a light switch after 2 months - I woke up one morning and as my DH put it "my wife is back".  But it's always nice to see a post like this, especially since it does not always pass that easily for people and they continue to suffer b/c they feel they are alone or are too embarassed to admit their feelings.  Although those first 2 months seem like a blur as well for me - I do remember feeling a bit better when I got some sleep - so GET YOUR REST when you can!!!!!!  Hang in there and good luck!

sistrkate

I think it is awesome that you posted this.  I actually think I had some form of PPD, but I was too scared to talk to my doctor about it, and everyone I did mention it to said everything I felt was normal.  But it was so awful for the first 6-8 weeks.  I also had a miscarriage this summer, and had a form of depression after it, too.  I posted on this board about it and got some amazing support from the ladies on here.

 

Like Taylormill, I was told I couldn't take anti-depressants while breastfeeding.  I wasn't about to give that up so I decided not to take them.  Fortunately, the case I had this year did not seem to be severe enough to require them because I feel much more like myself now.

 

Kudos to you for having the courage to speak to your doctor.  I hope you start feeling like yourself soon.

curlypie1

I'm happy you were able to get the help you need. There is no shame in that whatsoever.