Give the the gory details...

kharrima

My husband and I are thinking of getting pregnant (for the firs time) within the next year but I have some concerns. I LOVE children and want to be pregnant so bad but my biggest fear...the doctor. I hate going to the doctor and am scared to death of any doctor, even just a regular check up. I know being pregnant involves a lot of doctor visits and tests! I also have heard horror stories about labor like things tearing and needing stitches, etc and is the delivery of the placenta really seems like it would be odd and the last thing I would want to deal with after just having a baby (not that you get a say so in any of it! haha) If anyone wouldn't mind, can you share all your details with me, particularly the absolute worst part. I would like to have an actual realistic grasp on the delivery process and if you have any advice for someone who is terrified of the doctor! TIA

Hazell121

I haven't delivered yet, so I can't speak to the gory details of labor, but from a "gory" perspective being pregnant isn't that bad.  The regular monthly Drs visits take all of 10 minutes max and consist of taking your height, weight, urine sample and listening to the baby's heartbeat.  If you're really that nervous about Drs I would suggest looking into a midwife.  They're really good about the personal attention and taking the time to talk about any fears you are having.

kharrima

How often do they take your blood and what other tests are required? Are the glucose testing for gestational diabetes required with a regular ob/gyn? A friend of mine just had a baby and it was the worst experience I could possibly think of, not the labor but the pregnancy. Pretty much anything that could go wrong, did it seemed like. She ended up having an emergency c-section at 32 weeks but the baby was only 2lbs and 11oz. He was in the NICU for 6 weeks. She and her husband had been trying to get pregnant for about 2 years. It was just one complication after another for them. After seeing her go through all this I am a little more intimidated by all the medical complications that might come with pregnancy. 

futuresebss

I've had an amazingly easy pregnancy, thank God. And most women, I would say, probably have a "normal" pregnancy. I, too, am not too fond of doctors, but if you want to have kids, there aren't too many other options Plus, if you find the right OB or midwife, things will be much better.

I just decided to grow up, and the thing is, too, when you are ready, you won't care so much about those details and just take it as it comes.

I'm due to deliver in a few weeks and yes, it's making me anxious a little, but I'm not scared. I would say if you are scared, then it's not time, though of course, you will never be completely ready to take this on.

The first appointment after you find out you are pregnant is long. They do a pelvic exam, ultrasound, and took about 4 vials of blood.

After that, it's pretty easy. Once a month check-ups are quick. You hear the heartbeat, pee in a cup, they take your blood pressure and weight, and you ask questions. This happens until about the 28th week when you do a glucose tolerance test. This, for me, involved fasting overnight and having two vials of blood drawn. I did fail the first one, so I had to do the three hour test, which involved 4 more blood draws. This one I passed.

Towards the end of pregnancy, a vaginal swab is done to test for strep b, and typically a cervical check is done to see if you've dilated at all.

Yes, I imagine labor and delivery will be tough and I sort of just assume as a first time mom I will tear, but if you talk to other moms, no matter what they've gone through, it's a labor of love and they'd do it again in an instant. Good luck!

kharrima

What happens if you do tear? I have also heard it is common to go number 2 while you are in labor, is that true?

futuresebss

They sew you up! And yes, going to the bathroom while pushing is very common. I would suggest a book called "The Big Book of Birth," and if you read the birth stories here, it's very helpful.

kharrima

Do they use dissolvable stitches or do you have to go get them taken out? Getting stitches there sounds incredibly painful. How long after the delivery do they sew you up?

JuliaNelson316

I was in labor for 27 hours, and a week late. Honestly, i had 2 epidurals and I could feel absolutely nothing from the waist down. I think that the contractions are painful enough so going through labor without help was not going to happen.  Tearing does happen, they used dissolvable stitches in my case. The baby ended up coming out sideways. . .not fun There's also the chance of you going #2 and getting hemorroids from pushing so hard for a prolonged amount of time. I happened to have all of the above. The delivery of the placenta I didn't really notice. The doctor just massaged my lower stomach area and then it kinda just slid out I guess. I didn't have to do any work. The absolute worst part was the end when I was exhausted and the baby was crowning. It took FOREVER it seemed like. If you tear and have hemorroids you are given a take home pack with a peri bottle some witch hazel pads and pretty much diapers for your situation down there.. My suggestion would be to take everything you can from the hospital so you don't have to buy so much when you get home. I suggest having extra help when you get home for a couple days, the showers you take are long and necessary.

 In regards to being scared of doctors, I didn't like them either but they are really just there to help and you see them so often it doesn't even phase you. In the hospital, your doctor is your best friend. They will do whatever you need.

Hope this helps.

AmyRI

If doctors make you nervous, I would find an OB before you get pregnant so they have a sort of "baseline" of what you are healthy. I've heard of a lot of people have high blood pressure readings at the OB's office because they hate doctors, and high BP is a big issue when you're pregnant. The regular visits happen often, but they are short and sweet and no big deal. It's actually a good thing to see your doc so often, I think. You get to know them better and feel a little more comfortable around them, and you get plenty of opportunities to ask questions about anything and everything.

It is common to not have control of your bowel movements. I admit, I did poop. I could feel DS's head descending, and he was squishing everything as he went. There was no where for it to go but out. It happens, and no one made a big deal about it.

Delivering the placenta was the most uneventful thing. My OB massaged my stomach and I pushed it out without pain or any sort of issue. It was nothing compared to the baby I had just delivered, and there was an equal feeling of relief after it was out as there was when I had just pushed DS out. Nothing is better than that feeling... it was amazing.

Dissolvable stitches after a shot of local numbing of some sort. I was so worked up from delivering DS (without pain meds) that I hardly cared what was going on down there. It was maybe 20 minutes or a half hour after I delivered that she stitched me up? I don't remember exactly.

I had bloodwork done at my first appointment at 8 weeks. Confirm the pregnancy, blood type (because if you are RH- and your husband is RH+, there could be incompatability issues that will need to be treated), some basic stuff like iron level. I opted to do the NT scan at 12 weeks I think, which was a finger prick. Anatomy scan around 20 weeks. A Gestational diabetes glucose tolerance test at the beginning of 3rd tri is another blood draw, and this is standard practice with OBs. A swab down under for the GBS screening nearer your due date.

Complications are always a possibility and will mean more meds/blood draws, etc, but most of pregnancy is peeing in a cup and listening to the heartbeat on a doppler.

Stef33

I think the worst part for myself was that the epidural didn't numb everything. My contractions felt like bad period cramps times 50 (I managed to breath through them until my epi) and the epidural took those away. I felt everything else: back labor and all the pain "down below" during delivery. I'm sure this doesn't happen very often. Everything else was cake compared to that. When I delivered the placenta, I don't even remember having to push at all, all I felt was some mild warmth. A lot of women say you completely forget labor right after you see your baby. I didn't forget but I will say having her makes everything worth it and I have a sense of pride and accomplishment in what I've done and been through.

kharrima

How long does the pain last after labor and what kind of pain?

cyclek8bride

This all depends on who you are and how the birth went.  Likely longer if you need to have a c/s a few days to a week for a vaginal.  that said, if you had back labor or don't take care of yourself when you go home, it can take a while.  Basically for two weeks let yourself be pampered on the couch. (this was easier said than done for me as I am a busy body.)  Dh constantly told me to lay down. Oh and eat lots of fruit.  The first poop is the scariest after the birth.  Just take in lots of fiber for a month or so.

danabtayplusbaby

Hi there, 

I totally agree with you I hate any doctor! I am now pregnant with my second child and the truth is it doesnt get any easier. If  you hate them you hate them and I dont like anyone up in my business so to speak.  How ever there is a comfort - I found a nurse practitioner that I loved I was so comfortable with her I could be honest and she was very soothing and supportive.  The dr office was all female individual practice not linked with lots of docs and the main dr was the only dr you saw her and she was there for delivery.  Just the fact that it was not a medical center helped it was super girly but that was better than typical sterile. Also keep in mind you can meet and discuss concerns with serval different doctors with out any procedure being done. I recommend this! find someone who feels like a friend you can be personal with. I used to take the staff candles and treats-- They got to where they expected it but it made me feel like  it was more of friendly vsist. that really helped also every visit is not invasive sometime its just a tummy measure and heart beat listen try to focus on those it all goes by so fast. Also truly as detailed as I am ignorance is bliss dont get to caught up in terrible stories ad when you are preggo dont watch a baby story. just wait for your own story to tell. I had to have a c section the first time and was allgeric to all meds long bad story but I made it and our little girl is of course brilliant:) scared to death what to do this time so I my self am on a dr hunt. Hope this helped - try not to freak your self out to much it all does pass so quickly! best wishes to you good luck !  

sunnyside87

Honestly the doctor and visits were the easiest parts of the whole thing. The exams only started to hurt towards the last month when it was really uncomfortable down there and getting closer to delivery. It hurt a little when she checked for dilation, but nothing horrible. My doc was really nice and tried to be as fast as possible. I hated getting my blood drawn, but I'm used to it now. I just focus on something else and as soon as they get the needle in, the worst is over. The glucose drink was nasty, just drink it fast and it will be done. I had to have a CSection though, so I can't offer much info about a vaginal delivery other than don't get an epidural too early if you get one! I got mine way too early and that is one thing that caused me to have a csection. HTH!

terrichael

I have always been scared of hospitals, doctors, being poked and prodded and needles. And especially labor. I would rather have risked Tetanus than get a Tetanus shot. And people can tell you all the gory details but to tell you the truth, your labor won't be like any of theirs. I never really wanted kids because I was so focused on my fear of pregnancy and labor! And then one day, everything changed for me. I was telling my friend how I was too big of a chicken to go through it. I was about to get married and my now-husband was not sold on the idea of having a child either so it was going to be up to me and he would let me decide. My dear friend looked at me and said "Please don't let your fear of the pregnancy and labor sway you from having a baby. It is by FAR not the most difficult part of having a child." The way she said it, I just got it. I think you have to go through all of that just to prepare you for what lies ahead. Nineteen weeks after our wedding this past August, we found out that we are expecting. My first trimester, I was sick non-stop. My first blood draw, I was terrified. But I survived it and the next one (which was yesterday) was 100 times less scary and way more importantly, I had just seen my 13 week 4 day old baby kicking around on an ultrasound. I would gladly be stuck with a needle, have tons of pain, or whatever I will need to go through-because I want my child so much more than all of that. If you don't want a child so badly that you're willing to walk through fire to have him, then I'd say just wait! You will probably have that switch at some point that tells you you want a child badly enough to go though whatever you need to to have one. You will be terrified, but you will go forward, like any important but scary thing you've done before. Once your child is here, you would gladly walk through fire to save them and who knows, some day you may have to! Pregnancy, labor and delivery is just life preparing you for all of that. But it's not the worst part. You get through it all a minute at a time and I say that as one of the world's biggest wimps

Saltina11

mommy510

I know what you mean about hating Dr. appointments.  I hardly ever went to the dr before I got pregnant.  It was totally different going to my OB! I loved every visit.  It meant that i was that much closer to having my baby and i loved hearing that everything was going great, my weight gain was good (it was really excessive at the end though), and the ultrasounds were awesome! I could have watched the screen all day long. I only had blood work taken 2-3 times with my first pregnancy and so far 2 times with my second (I'm 14 weeks). It's not a big deal most of the time, but i had severe morning sickness with my first.  When they took my blood I actually blacked out for a second, then vomited several times on the nurse. It was my first appointment and I could have just died of embarrassment.

I had a very smooth pregnancy and loved it besides the morning sickness.  Towards week 36, the baby dropped and walking normal was slightly uncomfortable, but I refused to waddle in public.  I was induced at 39 weeks because my baby was measuring a week big and his head was measuring 2 weeks big.  They had a little bit of trouble getting my IV in because I have small veins, but it wasn't terrible. The nurses said to call for an epidural when i started to feel pain because it could take up to an hour for the anesthesiologist to come in and administer it. I didn't want to spend an hour in intense pain, so the first contraction that made me go "Ooh, I felt that!" I called for my epidural.  The anesthesiologist was literally right out side my door, and within 5 minutes, i had my epidural and felt absolutely no pain for the rest of the process. I pushed for about 30 minutes, and even though my baby was big and i am a small person, i didn't tear when he crowned. His hand was wrapped in the cord, which was also around his neck, so when the doctor unwrapped the cord, his had punched through and ripped my lady parts badly.  My dr didn't even tell me how many stitches i had. The stitches dissolved after a few weeks, but my recovery was rough. it took about 8 weeks to feel normal again "down there", but it was totally worth it.

Jenelle101

I almost died. That was the worst part for me. But seriously...I hemorrhaged and had to get 28 units of blood pumped into me. I was in ICU for 3 days, and didn't even get to see my baby. It was awful. It wasn't expected...I had a perfect pregnancy and was very healthy. All I remember is looking over and seeing that my blood pressure was 40/20 and there were probably 20+ doctors and nurses in the room. I couldn't really see that well, except for the things that were right in front of me. I could just see a sea of people in the room. My husband's look of horror was what I remember the most. He kept saying, "Stay with me, stay with me. I can't do this on my own." It was pretty amazing that they didn't have to take my uterus, although they did tell me that I most likely would have to have a hysterectomy. The doctors and nurses were awesome. They had to do a surgery to stop the bleeding, but it only worked for a couple hours, and then I started bleeding again. I had 2 very painful procedures done to stop the bleeding, and finally after 3 long, long, long nights of being in ICU, I was finally able to go over to the mother/baby unit to see my little girl. I stayed there for another 7 days because I had an infection in my body and they didn't know where it was. I had 104 temp during my entire labor and it was still there after 8 days. On the 9th or 10th day they figured out that I had a very rare infection in my uterus (separate problem from the hemorrhaging). They gave me Heparin and I was sent home with needles to give myself shots. It was a long recovery...It took my another 6 weeks to get back to having the normal amount of blood in my body and to feel "normal" again. Did I mention I was in my last month of graduate school and my thesis was due the following week? Yeah... it was nuts.

That was the worst part, but pooping in the doctor's face comes in second!

Just so you know....what happened to me is very, very rare. Hemorrhaging isn't rare, but the amount of blood I lost and how difficult it was to stop was extremely rare. I'm lucky I didn't die, and I'm glad that I didn't do a home birth, or I would have. And I'm lucky for all the technology we have today!