I don't know what to do...I feel so lost and confused...long

crazyanimals

This is a depressing post so if you're not in the mood, I wouldn't read it...I just need to vent.

My first son was born 10 weeks early.  My water broke after PTL off and on for 3 weeks and 5 days later he was born (30 weeks, 1 day).  He spent 38 days in the NICU.  Somehow we were blessed beyond anything.  He didn't have any problems at all. He just needed to grow  (2lbs 15oz)...no ventilators, brain bleeds, surgeries, nothing.

Despite everything we went through (which was more traumatic then I ever realized until my second pregnancy) we wanted to have another baby.  It took us a month to get pregnant.

Since we don't know what caused the PTL and PROM the first time we decided to do the p17 shots starting at 16weeks.  I thought maybe the first time was a fluke, I was too stressed or whatever.  Apparently, I was wrong, my body just isn't made for pregnancy.

At 18 weeks we had our first cervical u/s...I was at 2.9cm...not good, not bad, but not good.  My doc was concerned.  Well, long story short, my cervix went back up to 4cm (doc said shes never seen that happen) and I thought we were gonna make it fullterm.  I was positive, optimistic.  I had a vag. exam Monday and my doc says I'm 50% effaced and soft.  I am to say the least, terrified to go through this all again.  My water broke with Cameron at 29 weeks, I'll be 27 weeks tomorrow.

She recommended bedrest (which I don't think we can do financially or logically).  Financially if I go on bedrest we can "afford" our bills but that is it, scrape by.  I have 3 dogs, 2 cats, a house, 2 snakes, AND a 19 month old.  How can I go on bedrest????  I don't think I can put my husband and my son through the stress of completely flipping our lives upside down because it "might" help. I work in an office where I sit literally all day.  I'm happy there, generally stress free.  The only time I get up is to go pee.

I feel like if this baby (Carter) is going to come early, I've done everything I can do already.  Should I go on bedrest?  Do I put my family through that?  

 

lizardj7

I feel that as a mother u must do what is best for ur baby. There is a difference between bed rest and sitting at ur office. Ur dr must want ur feet propped and for u to be relaxed. Not saying that with ur missing income u will b relaxed as I know it will only bring stress to u and ur family. But what did u plan on doing when the new baby came along? I don't mean to pry but just bringing up the obvious. My dr has put me on bed rest bc there is a lot of bleeding around the baby. I am only 7 weeks this is my 2nd pregnancy as well. I had a very nice smooth pregnancy the first time so I am only praying this will get easier. God only gives us what we can handle right? I will say prayers for u and ur family that u all make it through this tough time. 

becketts

I would talk with your OB about some of your concerns. She may have some thoughts about the stress you'd have on bedrest.

appylovee

I feel our job as mothers is to do everything possible to protect our babies. There is a huge difference between sitting at a desk all and laying horizontally on a couch or your bed. HUGE DIFFERENCE. Im going to be a single mother, doing this all on my own, I have a horse whose board costs almost as much as my rent, a dog & I rent one half of a duplex. I was taken out of work at 25 weeks ( aprox, I dont remember) and put on modified bedrest. The state I live in has TDI or temporary disabilty insurance & Im only making $195 a week, yeah you read that correctly. ^m doing the bedrest anways to help my baby boy grow. i do have to say bedrest has helped my baby, the fluid has increased & my baby is still growing & inside me. they didnt think my baby would make it to 26 weeks, now we are working on 30 & im a week away. its definatly worth it.

palma44

We are looking at having to go on bed rest also for a short cervix and it is not idea and we cannot afford it but if it is recommended we will do it. I am 28 weeks and I do not want LO comming this early, if I can get her a few extra weeks in there by being able to lay down instead of sit at my desk, its worth it. I don't have another child at home and I cannot imagine how much harder that would make it but I would let your DH handle things.

luvndazys

Bed Rest is the SINGLE best thing you can do to increase your gestation period! You might sit at your desk but, that entails weight on your uterus. Also, think about the effort just to get to your office (showering, stairs(?) getting in/out of your car, walking to the office, etc.)

 The other thing I think about as I read your post is....what will you do if your munchkin comes early & is in the NICU? Won't you be spending a lot of time, money, energy to be there/get to/from there? I would imagine it'll mean time away from work. Save yourself that fear/worry & rest!

It is SO difficult to let go of ALL the responsibilities of life initially. Remember, you've got the rest of your life to catch up financially, to work, etc.....REST! You deserve it! You are creating a miracle.

Good luck with your decision making. Talk with your doctor, evaluate your support system, talk to your employer about disability/talk to a lawyer/look at your state laws.