Older son still NOT happy about new baby

atlcst2@aol.com

When we told our 13yr old son that we were having a baby he was NOT happy about it at all. But we thought further down the road he would accept it better. Well I'm being induced tomorrow and he would rather go to school then come to the hospital. We've talked to him to tell him nothing will change and he would still have our love and attention but he just seems SO depressed about it. Has anyone experienced this and if so did the oldest ever change their feelings. I don't know what else to do (((( 

Kpercyman

I am sorry he is feeling this way.  But from experience I can tell you it will take time.  My parents adopted two children when I was 25.  After 25 years of being an only child it was very hard to adjust to it.  It is fantastic that they adopted, don't get me wrong but it was still hard for the entire family.  Now that I am about to have a baby of my own they are about to get another baby.  

The main reason for me feeling the way I did was because I kept telling myself that I was not enough.  I did not complete there life.  Now with the new baby they are getting well, there only grandchild was not enough nor were the other two children.  I know it sounds bad and I work through my feelings on a daily basis.  My relationship with my mom has completely changed.  She doesn't have time to talk anymore or come visit me.  She isn't even going to be able to help out when the baby arrives. I get a little jealous of my other friends whose mom was there every step of the way.

 The point of telling you my story was to help you see the other side.  It isn't that he won't love the baby, which might take time.  He is afraid that your relationship is going to change and at 13 it is a big change.  His entire life is going to be different from now on.  It just won't be the three of you.  He might even feel that he wasn't enough.  As a mom you need to reassure that your relationship will not change and while it may be hectic with a new baby you will still make time for him.  It takes time.  Trust me, it will get better.  

jju_stb_jju

my parents had my little brother when i was 6 and my older sister was 12, and she felt the same way, i guess me not so much cause i was younger, but i know my mom has told me my sister wasnt as enthusiastic about hearing she was going to have another sibling and then when my brother did come alone my parents said it took awhile for my sister to adjust. so my mom would always include her on things, for instance if my mom had to go somewhere with the baby, she would ask my sister to go and ask her to sit with my brother in the back to watch him, or even ask if she would like to help watch him during play time, my mom sayd my sister eventually really started enjoying being around our lil brother and as she got older would ask my mom if she could take him with her to places, i remember my sister would take my brother to the mall or to the store or even out with her friends to eat! just keep talking to your son and hopefully once he sees his little sibling, he will change.

atlcst2@aol.com

Thank u so much for giving me a different perspective to look at it.. I will definitely reinforce that its not that he's not enough, it just we wanted to expand our family.  God Bless u with your situation as well.  Again thank you!!!!!

atlcst2@aol.com

Thank you!!!!!