Yikes! Super uncomforatble about the 'Gift Emphasis' — The Bump
Baby Showers

Yikes! Super uncomforatble about the 'Gift Emphasis'

I've got a couple mini-showers coming up and I've seen the invites and frankly they are WAY to gift focused. My mom provided a 3 page set of instructions for ordering off the registry, which I know was for my grandparents but she sent them to everyone. The other is a 'surprise' shower a friend is throwing and is organizing through Facebook. I've seen the posts and what she's been adding to the comments and she's all about gifts, where to buy them, when there are discounts on Babies R Us and telling people if they can't come they can drop off a gift.

 Don't get me wrong, gifts are very much appreciated, but I'd rather just have a nice party and hang out with all these people without worrying about gifts. I feel like my mom and my friend are really putting all the focus on gifts and that's not what I want at all, but I don't know how to handle this gracefully. One shower I'm not supposed to know about and the other is mostly family and my oldest friends. Do these invites make me seem 'gift-grabby', is there anything I can do to 'fix' this?  I don't mean to sound ungrateful because I didn't think I'd be having any shower let alone two, but the 'gift emphasis' is really making me uncomfortable.

Re: Yikes! Super uncomforatble about the 'Gift Emphasis'

  • The damage has already been done, I don't think your guests will think you're gift grabby though.  More likely they will think the host doesn't have proper etiquette....at least that's what I would think if it were me invited to the shower.
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  • 3 page set of instructions?! What?!
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  • I KNOW! I couldn't believe it. I registered at Babies R Us and Diapers.com and she felt she had to give step by step instructions for each. I mean, my grandparents are in their mid 80s and don't buy much online (I live really far away so they'd need to buy online and ship). Funny part is, they still needed my mom to come over and help them order and the other 7 people did not need the crazy instructions. I hope my friends just laughed at them, considering that we've been ordering items online FOREVER. 

    To make matters worse, that one is a Skype baby shower, which is already super awkward and now it just seems like my mom is out trying to get me gifts. Had I known it was going to be like this, I would have told her no in the first place. 

     The other one I have NO control over since I'm not supposed to know about it. I guess I could have the SO post something on my behalf, but that just feels weird. 

  • image appleorchard2:
    3 page set of instructions?! What?!

    I don't even know how this is possible... SMH.

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  • image Gismo123:
    The damage has already been done, I don't think your guests will think you're gift grabby though.  More likely they will think the host doesn't have proper etiquette....at least that's what I would think if it were me invited to the shower.

    Yep this.  Nothing you can do as far as damage control.  Just let it go and don't stress over it at this point.

  • image Gismo123:
    The damage has already been done, I don't think your guests will think you're gift grabby though.  More likely they will think the host doesn't have proper etiquette....at least that's what I would think if it were me invited to the shower.

    I agree, I wouldn't think less of you, but I would be very annoyed with the hostess.

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  • No need to stress at this point. Most people know that the MTB has little or nothing to do with planning and did not pick out the invites and their wording herself.
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  • Miss Manners says a shower is to shower the guest of honor with gifts...it's the purpose of the party.  However, I could see where they went overboard focusing on the gift portion of the party.  It's not on you since you weren't the ones sending the invites out, best you can do is just be gracious and have fun.
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  • I agree with PPs that if I were a guest at your shower, I wouldn't think you were rude. If the gift thing bothered me at all I'd think it was the host's fault. As for the surprise shower: don't worry about that one at all! It's (supposed to be) a surprise shower, so no one will think you even knew about it, let alone had any influence over the gifts!

    Could your mom call the guests and apologise for the instructions, explaining they were sent out by mistake? Maybe she could even throw in a "yes, they were meant for the grandparents... Of course, we told them that my daughter appreciates being around the people she loves more than any gifts, but they insisted!".

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