2+ Moms... how are you handling it all?? — The Bump
Babies: 0 - 3 Months

2+ Moms... how are you handling it all??

Having one was nothing.  It was pretty easy with DD because she was all I had to focus on.  Now that DS is here and DD is about to turn 2, I find myself feeling pretty overwhelmed!  Every second is consumed with one or both of their needs and I have to worry about DD getting into things while I am nursing DS... It is so tough to nurse him every two hours (he takes 45 min. to feed) AND focus on her needs as well.  I know it will get easier and I will adjust, but in the meantime, I am definitely feeling pretty in over my head.  Anyone else?
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Re: 2+ Moms... how are you handling it all??

  • I was in the exact same boat as you. My two are 17mos apart. First of all, it DOES get better. I gave up on breastfeeding, mostly because I have physical reasons why I couldn't do it. But formula has helped a lot in regards to being able to care for my first. Just take it one day at a time and ask for help! I'm 2mos in and it is way better now.
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  • I'm in awe of all y'all! So much respect here :)
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  • Just want to say you aren't alone! I am totally overwhelmed too - mostly by nursing. But I'm not willing to give that up! Two thoughts: dont be afraid to ask for help. Don't be afraid to use a little tv. And a friend recommended making a "nursing basket" for DS1 - special books, toys, or snacks that are only meant to be used during nursing sessions. 

    I hear it gets easier - good luck to you mama! You aren't alone! 

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  • Magic, luck and a lot of letting things go. I second the TV while nursing thing, also iPhone apps, and puzzles. My son has just started getting really good at puzzles and I can sit at the table with him and nurse while he does the puzzle. 

    Good luck, you're not alone. 

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  • image JuliaKL:

    Just want to say you aren't alone! I am totally overwhelmed too - mostly by nursing. But I'm not willing to give that up! Two thoughts: dont be afraid to ask for help. Don't be afraid to use a little tv. And a friend recommended making a "nursing basket" for DS1 - special books, toys, or snacks that are only meant to be used during nursing sessions. 

    I hear it gets easier - good luck to you mama! You aren't alone! 

    I agree with all of this. Mine are 19 mos apart and there are times I feel overwhelmed. DS watches a little more tv than I would like, especially in the evenings when I am trying to get DD to bed, but I figure it's what I need to do right now to survive and that's okay.

    I also have a nursing basket that comes out- it has a few toys, books, some coloring things and hands on things that keep DS occupied while I am busy. I do go buy like 10 books at the used bookstore we have here and switch the books up every week- that seems to help keep it fresh.


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  • image JuliaKL:

    Just want to say you aren't alone! I am totally overwhelmed too - mostly by nursing. But I'm not willing to give that up! Two thoughts: dont be afraid to ask for help. Don't be afraid to use a little tv. And a friend recommended making a "nursing basket" for DS1 - special books, toys, or snacks that are only meant to be used during nursing sessions. 

    I hear it gets easier - good luck to you mama! You aren't alone! 

    Me too!  Tv and snacks are used much more frequently in my house!  Also, have a room that is completely baby proofed. When I need to not have to jump up every 10 seconds while nursing, we just go up to DD's room and close the door. She can drag out every toy she wants and I can sit in the glider with DS and not worry and her climbing on top of the table (which she's done!). Good luck to us all!

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  • Thank you for posting this!!! I was considering a similar post myself. DD is 12 days old and DS is 23 months and being home alone with them is definitely overwhelming at times. Glad to hear that it gets easier! I've been telling myself that would be the case and that I've just got to be patient and I'll hit my stride with it all and it will become my new normal...here's hoping! Good luck to all of you in this boat!
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  • I do hope it gets better...tonight is my first night alone with the two boys and so far so good. DS #1 is starting to fight for attention, and just make me feel that much more guilty. Thanks to the ladies who recommended the nursing basket, I will try that soon.
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  • Ask for help if you need it.  Also, don't worry about anything other than keeping the kids happy for the time being.  Our house looked like a disaster area for a good while after dd was born and there are still days it does.  My job is to keep them happy and any housework or whatever can happen if I have time.  We've recently gotten to the point where we can get out of the house in under 2 hours and go do something without dh coming along.  It's still getting better, but I can see the light now.
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  • Not to be a total douche but things are going well here. I'm trying to think of some of the most helpful things.

    • Baby proof as much of your house as you can. At least have a room you can all hang out in while you're feeding so you can relax.
    • You don't need to resort to TV, iPads or similar if you plan well. In the morning DH gets DS#1 up, into his highchair and gives him breakfast. At the same time I get DS#2 up, changed and fed. That way #2 is happy to have a kick on his mat by the time #1 is done eating. I usually inhale a quick bowl of cereal and skull a glass of water, then get #1 out of his chair, nappy changed and dressed. Then I get dressed and our day starts! I also organise #1s snack / lunch / snack so he's eating in his highchair and then I feed #2 at the same time.
    • I get #2 down for his nap and as soon as he's asleep #1 goes down for his. Sometimes it means stringing #1 out for half and hour longer that would be ideal but it does mean I get a 2 hour break in the middle of the day where they're both asleep which is AMAZING.
    • I get #1 to help me with as much as I can. We cook, bake, clean, garden, do laundry etc together. Sure it takes longer to get stuff done but he's so happy to help me, it's developing his skills and it means that I don't have to plonk him in front of the TV so I can get stuff done. Today he chopped mushrooms with a butter knife while I did the rest of the prep for Beef Stroganoff. He was so happy trying to figure it out and by the end he had managed to actually cut 2 mushrooms!
    • Plan your next day the night before after the kids are in bed. Tomorrow we have mini muscles in the morning, #2 has his hip check at lunchtime at the hospital an hours drive away and I have physio at 3:30. That's a huge day for us so the nappy bag is packed, I have snacks, drinks and toys for #1 in there too. Clothes are laid out for both boys for the morning and I've premade lunch for both of us and it's waiting in the fridge.

    That's all I can think of right now but hopefully something in there helps you. One other thing that helps me hugely is a 10 minute tidy before bed. I set a kitchen timer and DH and I mission round the house tidying as much as we can in the space of 10 minutes. We do so much so quick since we know it's only 10 minutes and it means the house looks pretty good in the morning so I'm not starting from behind.

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