Well, the OB was very nice. He explained things in depth without being a douche about it. (You know the kind!) Basically, since we had a successful & uneventful pregnancy with P, then our overall chances of having another successful pregnancy are quite good.
There is some testing that we can do,like karyotyping. What that would tell us is if we were at higher risk of abnormalities and an increased risk for miscarriage. They can also test for some other issues, which would basically tell us the same thing. All of the testing available would tell us is if we are at an increased risk for miscarriage due to chromosomal abnormalities. We did, for the time being, decline the testing. He said that it may offer us peace of mind, and he was happy to do them at any time. If we did the testing, and it came back positive, there isn't anything they can do about it anyway. No solution for that type of problem. The only thing that we could do that may actually be helpful is progesterone suppositories, which may not help but they don't hurt.
Pretty much, we just have awful luck. If we are willing to continue to try, we will most likely be successful. We may have some losses along the way, but it's really our call. They can do monitoring too, like Hcg levels and early u/s if we want, and he is very happy to see us for extra monitoring. However, it won't make a difference long-term. We might do extra monitoring, we might not. It would be like watching and waiting to see if/when the baby fails to grow.
I asked about seeing a RE, and that's not really something that's needed unless we add the additional problem of having trouble TTC. If we get towards the end of the year without being able to conceive, then the game has change & we go to a new plan & go to the RE. For now, there isn't anything they can do either but watch.
So, I am putting off TTC until April/May to get my head & body in order. And then, we will just go into it knowing that we may fail, and may fail repeatedly. For now, DH know that we want another child and are willing to accept the risks that come with our TTC. I asked DH hat his # of m/c was before he was done, and that seemed like such a callous question. We talked about it like it was just one more thing that everyone talks about. Like how many times can you eat chicken before you get sick of it. Like it wasn't about babies. My babies. I hate how uncaring this makes me feel. I hate how I have to accept loss to be able to gain. But for now, that's how it is, and I accept that.
If we do the karyotyping and test positive, our risk goes from 30% (based on history & age) to 75%. The OB seemed to think that it's likely positive due to our history, and I'm inclined to agree. Shittastic news.