How do I word this on invitation??? — The Bump
Baby Showers

How do I word this on invitation???

 I am planning a shower for a friend.. having her 2nd child - another boy. Her first boy will be around 2 when the next is born. 

She has PLENTY.. only needs consumables like diaps/wipes. How do I word this on invitation??? 

Re: How do I word this on invitation???

  • If she doesn't need anything, why are you having a shower?

    Some people think a shower for baby #2 is always inappropriate, but I don't mind buying stuff for a second baby if the parents really need stuff and can't afford it or weren't expecting to get pregnant so they threw away all the old stuff.... but if your friend doesn't need baby stuff, why throw a shower?

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  • She has a two year old of the same gender and doesn't need anything...I would not go to this shower if I were invited and I'd majorly side-eye the invitation. 

    I think 2nd showers are innappropriate unless there's a HUGE difference in age between the oldest child and new baby.  Maybe a sip and see after the baby arrives would be better.

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  • Ditto penguin.

    The point of a traditional baby shower is to shower the mom-to-be with baby gear. The mom clearly doesn't need baby gear, so what's the point?

    Abandon the shower idea... a shower for a mother who is having a boy two years after having a boy is usually side-eye worthy anyway... and just have a party.

  • It would be much more appropriate to host a no-gifts event.
  • OMG, I knew I'd get these responses before I even posted...  so I really don't know why I did! 

    I have ALREADY offered to do her shower, along w/her sister in law. So obviously I can't say 'haha nevermind!'

    Where I come from, it's not frowned upon. Every baby is worth celebrating with friends. It's not like SHE is the one throwing it, for cripes sake. People who would give this invitation the side-eye need to remove the stick from their behinds.  

  • image kgail11:

    OMG, I knew I'd get these responses before I even posted...  so I really don't know why I did! 

    I have ALREADY offered to do her shower, along w/her sister in law. So obviously I can't say 'haha nevermind!'

    Where I come from, it's not frowned upon. Every baby is worth celebrating with friends. It's not like SHE is the one throwing it, for cripes sake. People who would give this invitation the side-eye need to remove the stick from their behinds.  

    Then why did you ask?!

    But honestly, if you are going to throw a 2nd shower, there is really no nice way to say "we'd really like you to come to a shower for her 2nd baby, but she doesn't need this, this and this".  If people ask you when they RSVP what she needs, I think that would be the only appropriate time to say she could really use diapers and wipes.  She'll probably still get other stuff - hopefully she can return it or something but she should appreciate anything she gets.

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  • image kgail11:

    Every baby is worth celebrating with friends.

    This comment makes me want to gouge my eyes out with something dull. If the baby is being celebrated, shouldn't the baby be present? And no in utero does not count as being present.

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  • image couliegirl:
    image kgail11:

    Every baby is worth celebrating with friends.

    This comment makes me want to gouge my eyes out with something dull. If the baby is being celebrated, shouldn't the baby be present? And no in utero does not count as being present.

    I totally agree.  Also, why can't a baby be celebrated w/o making it about gifts?? 
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  • image kgail11:

    OMG, I knew I'd get these responses before I even posted...  so I really don't know why I did! 

    I have ALREADY offered to do her shower, along w/her sister in law. So obviously I can't say 'haha nevermind!'

    Where I come from, it's not frowned upon. Every baby is worth celebrating with friends. It's not like SHE is the one throwing it, for cripes sake. People who would give this invitation the side-eye need to remove the stick from their behinds.  

    "OMG, I knew it but I did it anyway!!!"

    Look, a shower is a gift-giving event. Period. It's really, really rude to put on the invitation "here are the ONLY things you're allowed to spend your money on if you're coming to this shower."  And yes,that is essentially what you are saying.

    Call it a sprinkle and since there won't be a registry, hopefully your friend will get what she needs.  Or just call it a celebration.  "Come have a luncheon to celebrate babyX!"  The celebration SHOULD happen after then baby is born, but whatever.  Just don't call it a "shower" and you're fine.  But do you honestly think there is a nice way to tell people what they should buy for someone?  Seriously, think about it.

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  • When you're trying to think of a nice, unoffensive way to word something on an invitation, just drop the idea altogether.  If it was a nice and unoffensive request you'd know how to word it.
  • image RoxyLynn:
    When you're trying to think of a nice, unoffensive way to word something on an invitation, just drop the idea altogether.  If it was a nice and unoffensive request you'd know how to word it.

     

    Yes 

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  • Can you just throw her a diaper and wipes shower?  We just did this recently at church and it was great.  The mommy received a lot of diapers and wipes, but also a few outfits and burp cloths.  We do a shower for every baby.  It may not be huge, but every baby/birth/mom deserves to be celebrated and I don't see a problem with a second or third shower if someone offers to throw it.  Honestly, I would phrase it as a diaper shower....."You are invited to a diaper shower honoring _________."  Leave it at that.  Don't put anything about her not needing anything else.  Just word it like that and people wll bring what they want....hopefully diapers. 

    Or do a sip and see after the baby is born OR do a "celebration" which makes gifts optional. 

  • image ValentineMommy:

      We do a shower for every baby.  It may not be huge, but every baby/birth/mom deserves to be celebrated

     

    This seems to be a sticking point. I always thought of showers as being something to help first time parents get set-up for their new life, since baby expenses can be kind of outrageous. These expenses should be much, much less the second time around, so the shower shouldn't be needed (deciding you wanted a pink car seat for #1 and a blue one for #2 isn't a reason to ask someone to spend $50 on it for you, IMO). But it seems like a lot of people think of the showers as being for the baby -- then what's the opposition to having a party after the baby is born? You don't need to buy a gift to celebrate a baby and it seems like it would be easier on the parents to get the visiting over with in one afternoon than having people stop by 3 times a day.

    I'm not being snarky, that was a serious question. Why do you feel like a shower is so important and a party after the baby is born is not good enough?

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  • I don't think there is any way to phrase this. It's already frowned upon to have a second shower and then to say "and buy this, this, AND this." Why not a meet the baby or sprinkle? Much less gift grabby. When you use the word SHOWER your insinuating that it's intended for gifts. That is, afterall, what a shower if for. So, if she doesn't need gifts... throw a get together but not a shower.
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  • image Minipenguin:
    image ValentineMommy:

      We do a shower for every baby.  It may not be huge, but every baby/birth/mom deserves to be celebrated

     

    This seems to be a sticking point. I always thought of showers as being something to help first time parents get set-up for their new life, since baby expenses can be kind of outrageous. These expenses should be much, much less the second time around, so the shower shouldn't be needed (deciding you wanted a pink car seat for #1 and a blue one for #2 isn't a reason to ask someone to spend $50 on it for you, IMO). But it seems like a lot of people think of the showers as being for the baby -- then what's the opposition to having a party after the baby is born? You don't need to buy a gift to celebrate a baby and it seems like it would be easier on the parents to get the visiting over with in one afternoon than having people stop by 3 times a day.

    I'm not being snarky, that was a serious question. Why do you feel like a shower is so important and a party after the baby is born is not good enough?

    I don't.  I think a party after is a great idea.  I love going to sip and sees and seeing the new babies.  Our group doesn't do that though and maybe OP's doesn't either.  She's already offered a shower, so regardless of how other's feel, she should do it.  If it's acceptable in her area/group of friends/family she should go for it. 

  • Use a poem.

    B!tches love poems.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Little Man (4 years old---holy cow)
    He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be.  He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.  
  • image BallSox:
    Use a poem.

    B!tches love poems.

    My thoughts exactly. 

  • image BallSox:
    Use a poem.

    B!tches love poems.

     Something like this:

    If you bought her something for showers past

    Dont buy her more crap she already has

    Certificates are ok, but cash is king

    'cause then she doesn't have to return a thing! 

    Our little mother will thank you

    But you might feel a bit of deja vu! 

     

    I know, I know, I took creative license with "past" and "has" but biitches aren't usually picky about that Shiit. 


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  • She's kind of ditzy, she's kind of slow

    She skipped a pill, and oh rut roh!

    One in tow and two pink lines

    You can give her cash, that'd be fine. 

    Been there, done that, you might be a'thinking

    In shock at this invite, you're probably still blinking

    It may seem absurd, it may seem real greedy

    But see, this lady, she's awfully needy. 

    The baby an oopsie, or maybe was planned

    Either way they're expensive, don't you understand?

    You must be excited, you must spend your cash

    Come celebrate the baby and attend now this bash

    We have still some stuff, although it's all pink

    We need more blue stuff, so don't raise a stink

    Though now that I'm thinking, I have an ide'er

    Just mail me some cash, don't even come near. 

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Little Man (4 years old---holy cow)
    He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be.  He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.  
  • I think you have way to much free time on your hands. Bottom line is OP already offered a shower and if that's acceptable in her circle than so be it. Those who feel like a second shower is inappropriate won't show. 

     

  • If second showers are norm for your circle of friends and since you've already offered just call it a "Diaper Shower".  Back in the day, when I was much younger, I remember bridal showers having "themes" like kitchen, linen, etc. so it would just have a theme and that is diapers. 

    I personally have only been to a couple of "second" showers...we just don't do them in my family or circle of friends.  One was a "sprinkle" and we all brought diapers and wipes and I think some people brought a couple of outfits.  It was really small...about 8 ladies.

  • image princesskylee07Wed237839:

    I think you have way to much free time on your hands. Bottom line is OP already offered a shower and if that's acceptable in her circle than so be it. Those who feel like a second shower is inappropriate won't show. 

     

    I love how everyone who can't come up with things quickly assume i spend long amounts of time making those.  I teach preschoolers, I come up with rhyming songs on the fly.  I should make a sticky:  "Be advised, most poems I write take < 3 minutes to do so".  The only reason it takes that long is because of my ADD and the distractions around me.  

    But thanks for your concern.  

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Little Man (4 years old---holy cow)
    He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be.  He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.  
  • image EastCoastBride:
    image couliegirl:
    image kgail11:

    Every baby is worth celebrating with friends.

    This comment makes me want to gouge my eyes out with something dull. If the baby is being celebrated, shouldn't the baby be present? And no in utero does not count as being present.

    I totally agree.  Also, why can't a baby be celebrated w/o making it about gifts?? 

    Exactly. And honestly, the people going will know she already has everything she needs because she already has a two year old of the same sex. I'd know enough to bring diapers and maybe an outfit.

    2 girls and a dog
  • I couldn't figure out why a college friend wanted to throw a baby shower for me considering that I already have a 3 year old at home and didn't need anything.  I ended up telling her that we could meet a few friends out for lunch instead and people could buy a gift if they wanted to.  She wanted me to create a registry which was silly, but I just listed diapers on it. 

    Had my luncheon last Saturday and treated it like a college reunion instead.  I received about 3 gifts from friends but it was more about meeting up with friends instead of getting goodies.  Why not spin the event into a luncheon/baby sprinkle instead?  I just felt really uncomfortable calling it a shower when I already had stuff.

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  • image EastCoastBride:
    image couliegirl:
    image kgail11:

    Every baby is worth celebrating with friends.

    This comment makes me want to gouge my eyes out with something dull. If the baby is being celebrated, shouldn't the baby be present? And no in utero does not count as being present.

    I totally agree.  Also, why can't a baby be celebrated w/o making it about gifts?? 

    This. That line is one of the worst excuses for justifying the need for subsequent showers. What they really mean but aren't saying is every child I give birth to deserves to have my friends and family members spend their hard earned cash on him/her.

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  • dojo1dojo1
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    image BallSox:
    image princesskylee07Wed237839:

    I think you have way to much free time on your hands. Bottom line is OP already offered a shower and if that's acceptable in her circle than so be it. Those who feel like a second shower is inappropriate won't show. 

     

    I love how everyone who can't come up with things quickly assume i spend long amounts of time making those.  I teach preschoolers, I come up with rhyming songs on the fly.  I should make a sticky:  "Be advised, most poems I write take < 3 minutes to do so".  The only reason it takes that long is because of my ADD and the distractions around me.  

    But thanks for your concern.  

    Mine take considerably longer and aren't as good.  My talents lie elsewhere.

    I do have too much time on my hands.. this baby isn't born yet.  If I didn't have too much time on my hands I'd be a bit concerned about where I was going to find the time to parent. 


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  • I probably wouldn't mention the gifts at all. IMO anyway you mentions them other than the parents are registered at XXXX is tacky?. Maybe you could have a diaper party instead of a "shower".

    Good luck.
  • image BallSox:
    Use a poem.

    B!tches love poems.

    Ooh, BallSox, you're killing me! And then you wrote a poem! Much needed comedy break [wiping eyes]?thanks for that!

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  • image princesskylee07Wed237839:

    I think you have way to much free time on your hands. Bottom line is OP already offered a shower and if that's acceptable in her circle than so be it. Those who feel like a second shower is inappropriate won't show. 

     

    I agree, this board is harsh! (not just on this post)

  • image PaMommy02:
    image princesskylee07Wed237839:

    I think you have way to much free time on your hands. Bottom line is OP already offered a shower and if that's acceptable in her circle than so be it. Those who feel like a second shower is inappropriate won't show. 

     

    I agree, this board is harsh! (not just on this post)

    You would get really f*cking tired of answering the same questions and having the same argument over and over again too. And yes the argument is necessary because this is an etiquette board. Rude is rude, period, end of story. 

    Balls- what can I say but LMFAO?! 

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  • "It's not their responsibility for a 1st child either. So explain why it is acceptable to ask for gifts then. By your reasoning no person that should be able to provide for their child should have a shower. And no one should be having a child if they can't afford one, so no one should have a shower ever."

    A shower welcomes a new mother-to-be to motherhood.  It is assumed that she can re-use her car seat, swing, crib, bedding, diaper pail, etc. for any subsequent children.

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