Vent ... Get it out of your system now ...

Manda3596

Because once you have a kid you won't be able to do any of it.

A lot of you may not agree, but I really hate hearing this all the time. Don't get me wrong, I know that our lives will revolve around our child. However, that doesn't mean that I will not still do social things after we have a baby. I don't think your life ENDS when you have a child.

I think the worst is when we talk about going on vacation. My husband and I go somewhere warm every February-ish for a week. A lot of people now say "I bet you're glad you were able to do that before". Um ... we're still going to do it. Starting next year (it's KILLING me not going somewhere this year). "Oh, so you're bringing the baby?" Nope ... our parents will be babysitting. People look at me like I have three heads! But, I don't think there's a point in bringing a baby on a vacation until they can remember it.

Sorry, just had to vent because I'm really getting annoyed with being judged on this!  

cj803kj411

lol the only thing i agree with that statement is bathroom time from going to the bathroom to showers to baths. once that kid can walk dont expect to have alone time in there EVER. lol. EVERRRR i just took a 20 minute shower because I blew up at everyone in the house that I needed ME time so SO made sure no one even went upstairs lol. it's very rare that happens. 

Manda3596

cj803kj411:

lol the only thing i agree with that statement is bathroom time from going to the bathroom to showers to baths. once that kid can walk dont expect to have alone time in there EVER. lol. EVERRRR i just took a 20 minute shower because I blew up at everyone in the house that I needed ME time so SO made sure no one even went upstairs lol. it's very rare that happens. 

It's so funny that you say that! My friend has two girls (3 and 1), and she was just telling me that she was taking a bath and her oldest came in and poked her in the boob and says "What's that?" lol ... yeah, apparently her daughter is now obsessed with boobs.

stemms8810

cj803kj411:

lol the only thing i agree with that statement is bathroom time from going to the bathroom to showers to baths. once that kid can walk dont expect to have alone time in there EVER. lol. EVERRRR i just took a 20 minute shower because I blew up at everyone in the house that I needed ME time so SO made sure no one even went upstairs lol. it's very rare that happens. 

Lol, it is very hard to use the bathroom in peace!  I remember sometimes even going to the bathroom while DD was occupied with my mom or someone so I could sit down and have quiet for a few minutes.

But, no, your life doesn't end when you have a baby.  You have to make adjustments and there are times when your social life will suffer.  It won't be exactly the same as before but you don't have to shut yourself in your home.  You will find yourselves doing more family oriented things and 'me' time will be harder to come by.

Manda3596

stemms8810:

 You have to make adjustments and there are times when your social life will suffer.  It won't be exactly the same as before but you don't have to shut yourself in your home.  You will find yourselves doing more family oriented things and 'me' time will be harder to come by.

Oh, I absolutely know and understand this, and I think that's what the most frustrating part is. It will never be all about me again, and I have no problem with that, and am looking for that. My social life will never be what it was before baby, which I also knew when we started trying to have a baby. People make it seem like if you plan on doing anything on your own in the first 6 months after having a baby (literally, doing ANYTHING without the baby), you're going to be a bad parent.

JulesFo

stemms8810:

cj803kj411:

lol the only thing i agree with that statement is bathroom time from going to the bathroom to showers to baths. once that kid can walk dont expect to have alone time in there EVER. lol. EVERRRR i just took a 20 minute shower because I blew up at everyone in the house that I needed ME time so SO made sure no one even went upstairs lol. it's very rare that happens. 

Lol, it is very hard to use the bathroom in peace!  I remember sometimes even going to the bathroom while DD was occupied with my mom or someone so I could sit down and have quiet for a few minutes.

But, no, your life doesn't end when you have a baby.  You have to make adjustments and there are times when your social life will suffer.  It won't be exactly the same as before but you don't have to shut yourself in your home.  You will find yourselves doing more family oriented things and 'me' time will be harder to come by.

Yup! I think it's all about adjusting and establishing "a new normal." And installing a lock on the bathroom with strict instructions to your husband that if he is home, you get to use the bathroom in peace.

FyreFlyeRush

cj803kj411:

lol the only thing i agree with that statement is bathroom time from going to the bathroom to showers to baths. once that kid can walk dont expect to have alone time in there EVER. lol. EVERRRR i just took a 20 minute shower because I blew up at everyone in the house that I needed ME time so SO made sure no one even went upstairs lol. it's very rare that happens. 

Yes!!! Mine is almost 16, and if I'm taking a bath, she thinks that's the time to ask me for anything and everything! Ugh!  

AbsoluteLM

People can be very aggravating in their assumption that, because they were one way, you will be the same way too. But, a lot of the time they are right and that's aggravating in a whole different way!

Life is very different after your first baby arrives, but you'll figure out how to make adjustments so that the important things you used to do will still remain important. You'll still be social, but you might find that you have to make adjustments (for example, you may find that you DO want to bring LO along on vacation). Just don't be ashamed to change your mind when the time comes--even if that means some folks will say "I told you so." Its all a learning process and everyone should be respectful of that.

 

 

 

PotomacSt

Manda3596:

Nope ... our parents will be babysitting. People look at me like I have three heads! But, I don't think there's a point in bringing a baby on a vacation until they can remember it.

Go for it. My parents usually went on a trip every year without my brother and I. We went to Grandma's, and Grandma loved every minute of it. And I'm sure my parents' marriage is better for it.

 

cj803kj411

lol. the other day i tried "sneaking off" to go take a shower. and before long my Boyfriend was in there brushing his teeth and taking out his contacts then DS walks in cuz he has to go to the bathroom. I was like really?! mind you I use the bathroom upstairs by the bedroom. there is a bathroom downstairs by everyone else! 

 

And our bathroom door doesnt lock it was put in wrong and BF is trying to fix it but said he thinks its honestly going to mean a whole new door =[  

beany02

this frustrates me too! obviously im not an idiot and i know we cant just leave LO whenever we feel like going on vacation, but we have TONS of family living nearby and i dont see an issue with leaving LO a few times a year to have some alone time. We are planning a 2 day canoe trip with friends for September (LO will be 3.5 months old), and if she is healthy and if i have pumped enough milk for the weekend, then my mom will be watching her. but people look at me like im crazy when we mention the canoe trip. 2 days is nothing!!! i wouldnt want to leave her any longer than that when she is still so young , and who knows, i may change my mind when September gets here and not go on the trip at all. but we are not doing daycare and i will be a SAHM so 2 days with grandma shouldnt be too hard on us.

BabyCoco29

Funny.. my husband and I just booked 4 days in the Netherlands for his 30th Birthday, the baby will be around 7 months and obv. not going with us to Europe let alone Amsterdam, I know people will totally freak out when they get wind of that, as far as warm trips go I plan to take him as early as next summer, we go to the Caribbean every year and I usually have a hard time leaving my dog so I cant imagine not bringing the baby, but its important to get away and nothing wrong with it at all. Who cares what people say? And I totally hate when people say oh not that ur having a baby you wont be traveling for a looong time, im like yeah ok sure. I dont understand what is worng with people who say that I have many friends that travel with and without their kids, why do people think you life ends when you have a baby?