Shower for 2nd Baby? — The Bump
Baby Showers

Shower for 2nd Baby?

My best friend is having her 2nd baby. Her daughter is 3 years old and they are expecting a baby boy. I wanted to throw a shower for her first child, but her MIL did and it didn't make sense to have separate ones. So now that she's pregnant again, I would love to host something to celebrate the arrival of their first baby boy!

What is the etiquette for having a shower for a 2nd child? It is different sex, so I would like to do something for her, but I don't want to be tacky and make it look like a gift grab. (She has no idea I am even thinking about hosting something for her). Thanks for any tips!

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Re: Shower for 2nd Baby?

  • Strict etiquette is no shower for subsequent children.  

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  • You could host a party after the baby comes. It doesn't have to be a shower, but a celebration of her son's arrival. I think this takes the gift portion out of the picture.
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  • When my little brother was born, my mom's sister threw a party for me and my mom (I was 2 1/2) that was a huge sleepover and the invitations said something like "last girls' night before our boy gets here!" I don't really remember it but I've been told there were Disney princess movies and it was a super girly thing and no presents except a few people brought me stuffed animals, which are still at my parents' house. Maybe you could do something similar so you still got to celebrate her and the little guy and get her DD some attention and excitement before baby comes? I think people would think it was less tacky and gift grabby as a party that is clearly something other than a shower and not all "this one has a penis so we want new stuff".
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  • In my family and circle of friends -- showers are for each or any child given someone volunteers to host the shower.

    The mother/mtb doesn't ever ask anyone to do this for her.

    That being said, DD#1 will be 6 in August .. I was 20 when I got pregnant (out of wed lock and in my "all I care about is me" days). My first "shower" was very much not a shower. More of a "sprinkle" where a few of my friends. who weren't busy at the bar, came and hung out at my Mom's and my NOW FI grilled with his brother outside. Gifts were given to me by my Mom .. my extended family wasn't even there. It was a rough time, I was thee only one on both sides that had a baby out of wed lock and my Dad's side is Persian so woooah!

    Now. with DD#2 lol STILL UNMARRIED! However, our wedding was/is planned for September 8 of this year and was DX'd with PCOS 2 years ago so we never thought we'd have another one. My soon to be SIL is throwing US (DD#1, DD#2 and I) an ACTUAL shower! At a venue, with games, and a registry, and food made by the venue .. and I couldn't be any happier. I am so appreciative for this because now being at a different point of our lives, I can fully enjoy this, and not feel bad or like we did something wrong.

    I hadn't finished school yet with DD#1 so that was another big no-no. Now, I have graduated college and things are just different. So, while some people don't believe that having a 2nd shower for a 2nd child is poor etiquette .. sometimes it's a fresh start at being able to be happy for this pregnancy when the first one was not even spoken of. And yes, the few friends that came to my mom's for hot dogs and hamburgers in June 2006 -- will be coming to this one as well. And they couldn't be happier for us! 

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  • image DO-JO:
    Strict etiquette is no shower for subsequent children.  

    This! Doesn't matter if the baby is a different sex.  I vote for having a meet the baby party after the baby comes that way it doesn't look like all you want is gifts and you're still celebrating the baby.

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  • Perhaps you could do a boy themed sprinkle without pushing the etiquette boundaries to far?
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  • I really don't get the rule of no second shower. If it is between friends and family that you know wouldn't be offended but happy to help out and celebrate the pregnancy, why not? I think it is such a stupid "rule." As long as you're not sending out invites to every person she knows - then yes. Do it.

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  • I would def. not have another shower for a second child but I do understand the arguement- why wouldn't we celebrate the second baby just as much as the first...therefore it is probably better to do a meet and greet or a sip and see type of gathering after the baby is born (maybe 2-3 months)  I wouldn't feel comfortable passing around my newborn.

    If you look up sip and see online they are some cute ideas.  Also watch the guest list - keep it at family and close friends - no random aquaintences, this is tacky IMO.

  • Thanks for the feedback. I know the mom would absolutely not want to have a sip and see party (the thought of passing her baby around to a ton of different people would absolutely horrify her - when she had her first she hated having most other people holding her daughter when she was a baby) but maybe I will just host a lunch with a few close friends. Hmmm I will continue to think on this...
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  • image FrecklesInside:
    I really don't get the rule of no second shower. If it is between friends and family that you know wouldn't be offended but happy to help out and celebrate the pregnancy, why not? I think it is such a stupid "rule." As long as you're not sending out invites to every person she knows - then yes. Do it.

    I agree with you. I am having a second shower because my sisters want to throw a shower for me. I am also in a different city then I was with DD and I know a lot of different people now that I didn't when I was PG the first time. So they will all get to celebrate with me this time. I don't care how many children a woman has she always deserves to be showered!

  • Second showers seem to typically be frowned upon. I guess it would depend on the group of friends and family as to whether or not this is the case. I personally always give a gift for all new babies but I also personally find 2nd showers to be a bit tacky... there are other 'get togethers' that would likely be better in this situation.
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  • THIS!! I wonder where it is considered tacky because everyone I know have had showers for all their kids. Now granted its not nearly as big or nice as their first one, they usually have something small, kept to close family and usually they don't register for gifts. In my opinion I say do it for your friend! It will be a nice surprise for her!
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  • ?I really don't get the rule of no second shower. If it is between friends and family that you know wouldn't be offended but happy to help out and celebrate the pregnancy, why not? I think it is such a stupid "rule." As long as you're not sending out invites to every person she knows - then yes. Do it.? Woops, I meant to quote this reply, writing from my phone though and couldn't figure out how to do it.
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  • I don't like the idea of a second shower, but I get that it's cool in some circles.  I don't care really, as long as there is no mention of a registry and it's only REALLY close friends/family.  I still cringe a little at it, but I can look past in that case.

    The thing people don't seem to understand is that the shower isn't for baby...it's for the MTB to welcome her to motherhood.  Well, at #2 she's already a mother.  And I always hate this "well, this one is a different sex!"  BFD. So a second baby is more "worthy" of celebration if it has different genitals from its older sibling?

    OP, I would host some sort of celebration luncheon, but not call it a shower and do NOT include registry info if she has one.  People will probably still bring gifts.

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  • I have been to a few. They are called sprinkles. They are fun and totally acceptable.
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  • I never even heard of such a thing until joining the Bump.  Here, a shower is to welcome a new mother into motherhood. 
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  • image Cranang:

    I don't like the idea of a second shower, but I get that it's cool in some circles.  I don't care really, as long as there is no mention of a registry and it's only REALLY close friends/family.  I still cringe a little at it, but I can look past in that case.

    The thing people don't seem to understand is that the shower isn't for baby...it's for the MTB to welcome her to motherhood.  Well, at #2 she's already a mother.  And I always hate this "well, this one is a different sex!"  BFD. So a second baby is more "worthy" of celebration if it has different genitals from its older sibling?

    OP, I would host some sort of celebration luncheon, but not call it a shower and do NOT include registry info if she has one.  People will probably still bring gifts.

    I agree with this.  I'm sure you know her circle of friends and family as to how they would feel about a "sprinkle".

    To the pp's that seem to not want to "pass their newborn around"...who does that???  I had a "meet the baby party" and NEVER passed the baby around...nor did anyone even ask to hold him.  I would never even consider asking to hold someone's newborn and I think most adults feel the same.

  • image rhubarb123:
    image Cranang:

    I don't like the idea of a second shower, but I get that it's cool in some circles.  I don't care really, as long as there is no mention of a registry and it's only REALLY close friends/family.  I still cringe a little at it, but I can look past in that case.

    The thing people don't seem to understand is that the shower isn't for baby...it's for the MTB to welcome her to motherhood.  Well, at #2 she's already a mother.  And I always hate this "well, this one is a different sex!"  BFD. So a second baby is more "worthy" of celebration if it has different genitals from its older sibling?

    OP, I would host some sort of celebration luncheon, but not call it a shower and do NOT include registry info if she has one.  People will probably still bring gifts.

    I agree with this.  I'm sure you know her circle of friends and family as to how they would feel about a "sprinkle".

    To the pp's that seem to not want to "pass their newborn around"...who does that???  I had a "meet the baby party" and NEVER passed the baby around...nor did anyone even ask to hold him.  I would never even consider asking to hold someone's newborn and I think most adults feel the same.

    First, I just don't agree with your wording.  We have a shower for each baby and it's not because we misunderstand the purpose of a shower.

    Second, I wouldn't say this is true. I had many people visit me in the hospital and at home when my kids were born and I didn't prevent anyone from holding my kids. (they are older now and still quite healthy, no negative effects from being "passed around" to different people). I would find it strange and insulting to be invited to visit a baby and not be allowed to hold him/her.  I wouldn't think you want to pass the baby to people you don't know but I wouldn't have people I didn't know invited to my home. If you don't want certain people to hold your baby, don't ask them to come meet your baby.

    Second showers...it's going to depend on what is usually done. If they are not ususally done it's probably best not to start now.

    As another poster pointed out, Emily Post even agrees they are ok if kept to the close family and friends.

     

  • image McFelix5711:
    maybe I will just host a lunch with a few close friends. Hmmm I will continue to think on this...

    That's perfect.  You can spend some quality girl-time together and celebrate her pregnancy without gifts. It's sweet and completely appropriate.

  • image discobelle:

    Emily Post says it's okay to have a shower for a second or third child, as long as it's kept to close friends and family and people who didn't attend a shower for a previous child.

     

     

    I didn't know that! Interesting. 

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  • image blush64:
    image rhubarb123:
    image Cranang:

    I don't like the idea of a second shower, but I get that it's cool in some circles.  I don't care really, as long as there is no mention of a registry and it's only REALLY close friends/family.  I still cringe a little at it, but I can look past in that case.

    The thing people don't seem to understand is that the shower isn't for baby...it's for the MTB to welcome her to motherhood.  Well, at #2 she's already a mother.  And I always hate this "well, this one is a different sex!"  BFD. So a second baby is more "worthy" of celebration if it has different genitals from its older sibling?

    OP, I would host some sort of celebration luncheon, but not call it a shower and do NOT include registry info if she has one.  People will probably still bring gifts.

    I agree with this.  I'm sure you know her circle of friends and family as to how they would feel about a "sprinkle".

    To the pp's that seem to not want to "pass their newborn around"...who does that???  I had a "meet the baby party" and NEVER passed the baby around...nor did anyone even ask to hold him.  I would never even consider asking to hold someone's newborn and I think most adults feel the same.

    First, I just don't agree with your wording.  We have a shower for each baby and it's not because we misunderstand the purpose of a shower.

    Second, I wouldn't say this is true. I had many people visit me in the hospital and at home when my kids were born and I didn't prevent anyone from holding my kids. (they are older now and still quite healthy, no negative effects from being "passed around" to different people). I would find it strange and insulting to be invited to visit a baby and not be allowed to hold him/her.  I wouldn't think you want to pass the baby to people you don't know but I wouldn't have people I didn't know invited to my home. If you don't want certain people to hold your baby, don't ask them to come meet your baby.

    Second showers...it's going to depend on what is usually done. If they are not ususally done it's probably best not to start now.

    As another poster pointed out, Emily Post even agrees they are ok if kept to the close family and friends.

     

    Well, apparently you DO misunderstand the purpose of a shower.

    Think of people who have multiple weddings.  A shower is to set up a home for the BTB.  On her 3rd wedding, she should have everything she needs for her home.  Same thing with babies.  A shower is to welcome the MTB to motherhood.  On her 3rd child, she should everything she needs for a baby.

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  • I have been to baby showers where the mother already has a young one.  It never crossed my mind that it was tacky.  I had no problems with it.  Do what you feel comfortable with and what your circle of friends and family normally do.
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  • image Cranang:
    image blush64:
    image rhubarb123:
    image Cranang:

    I don't like the idea of a second shower, but I get that it's cool in some circles.  I don't care really, as long as there is no mention of a registry and it's only REALLY close friends/family.  I still cringe a little at it, but I can look past in that case.

    The thing people don't seem to understand is that the shower isn't for baby...it's for the MTB to welcome her to motherhood.  Well, at #2 she's already a mother.  And I always hate this "well, this one is a different sex!"  BFD. So a second baby is more "worthy" of celebration if it has different genitals from its older sibling?

    OP, I would host some sort of celebration luncheon, but not call it a shower and do NOT include registry info if she has one.  People will probably still bring gifts.

    I agree with this.  I'm sure you know her circle of friends and family as to how they would feel about a "sprinkle".

    To the pp's that seem to not want to "pass their newborn around"...who does that???  I had a "meet the baby party" and NEVER passed the baby around...nor did anyone even ask to hold him.  I would never even consider asking to hold someone's newborn and I think most adults feel the same.

    First, I just don't agree with your wording.  We have a shower for each baby and it's not because we misunderstand the purpose of a shower.

    Second, I wouldn't say this is true. I had many people visit me in the hospital and at home when my kids were born and I didn't prevent anyone from holding my kids. (they are older now and still quite healthy, no negative effects from being "passed around" to different people). I would find it strange and insulting to be invited to visit a baby and not be allowed to hold him/her.  I wouldn't think you want to pass the baby to people you don't know but I wouldn't have people I didn't know invited to my home. If you don't want certain people to hold your baby, don't ask them to come meet your baby.

    Second showers...it's going to depend on what is usually done. If they are not ususally done it's probably best not to start now.

    As another poster pointed out, Emily Post even agrees they are ok if kept to the close family and friends.

     

    Well, apparently you DO misunderstand the purpose of a shower.

    Think of people who have multiple weddings.  A shower is to set up a home for the BTB.  On her 3rd wedding, she should have everything she needs for her home.  Same thing with babies.  A shower is to welcome the MTB to motherhood.  On her 3rd child, she should everything she needs for a baby.

    Maybe you ought to visit the second wedding board on The Knot for more info on the shower thing. (possibly Emily Post as well)

    And I DO NOT misunderstand. I don't think you really get it. You have a shower for whatever purpose you would like. I'll do the same. In my family the tradition of showering the pregnant woman to celebrate the pregnancy and unborn child has been there for generations, that's the tradition, that's what's done.

     Even etiquette websites don't fully agree here so I wouldn't say you can claim everyone who doesn't have your opinion is wrong.

  • image blush64:
    image Cranang:
    image blush64:
    image rhubarb123:
    image Cranang:

    I don't like the idea of a second shower, but I get that it's cool in some circles.  I don't care really, as long as there is no mention of a registry and it's only REALLY close friends/family.  I still cringe a little at it, but I can look past in that case.

    The thing people don't seem to understand is that the shower isn't for baby...it's for the MTB to welcome her to motherhood.  Well, at #2 she's already a mother.  And I always hate this "well, this one is a different sex!"  BFD. So a second baby is more "worthy" of celebration if it has different genitals from its older sibling?

    OP, I would host some sort of celebration luncheon, but not call it a shower and do NOT include registry info if she has one.  People will probably still bring gifts.

    I agree with this.  I'm sure you know her circle of friends and family as to how they would feel about a "sprinkle".

    To the pp's that seem to not want to "pass their newborn around"...who does that???  I had a "meet the baby party" and NEVER passed the baby around...nor did anyone even ask to hold him.  I would never even consider asking to hold someone's newborn and I think most adults feel the same.

    First, I just don't agree with your wording.  We have a shower for each baby and it's not because we misunderstand the purpose of a shower.

    Second, I wouldn't say this is true. I had many people visit me in the hospital and at home when my kids were born and I didn't prevent anyone from holding my kids. (they are older now and still quite healthy, no negative effects from being "passed around" to different people). I would find it strange and insulting to be invited to visit a baby and not be allowed to hold him/her.  I wouldn't think you want to pass the baby to people you don't know but I wouldn't have people I didn't know invited to my home. If you don't want certain people to hold your baby, don't ask them to come meet your baby.

    Second showers...it's going to depend on what is usually done. If they are not ususally done it's probably best not to start now.

    As another poster pointed out, Emily Post even agrees they are ok if kept to the close family and friends.

     

    Well, apparently you DO misunderstand the purpose of a shower.

    Think of people who have multiple weddings.  A shower is to set up a home for the BTB.  On her 3rd wedding, she should have everything she needs for her home.  Same thing with babies.  A shower is to welcome the MTB to motherhood.  On her 3rd child, she should everything she needs for a baby.

    Maybe you ought to visit the second wedding board on The Knot for more info on the shower thing. (possibly Emily Post as well)

    And I DO NOT misunderstand. I don't think you really get it. You have a shower for whatever purpose you would like. I'll do the same. In my family the tradition of showering the pregnant woman to celebrate the pregnancy and unborn child has been there for generations, that's the tradition, that's what's done.

     Even etiquette websites don't fully agree here so I wouldn't say you can claim everyone who doesn't have your opinion is wrong.

    If the second wedding board on The Knot says that a shower is OK for subsequent weddings, then that's just ridiculous.  I'm on my second marriage.  My DH and I both had huge first weddings.  There was NO way I would've accepted a second shower...that's WAYruder, IMO, than a second baby shower.  Yikes, sounds like that board is full of people wanting lots of attention.  I wonder who didn't hug them when they were children?

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  • image Cranang:
    image blush64:
    image Cranang:
    image blush64:
    image rhubarb123:
    image Cranang:

    .

     

    Maybe you ought to visit the second wedding board on The Knot for more info on the shower thing. (possibly Emily Post as well)

    And I DO NOT misunderstand. I don't think you really get it. You have a shower for whatever purpose you would like. I'll do the same. In my family the tradition of showering the pregnant woman to celebrate the pregnancy and unborn child has been there for generations, that's the tradition, that's what's done.

     Even etiquette websites don't fully agree here so I wouldn't say you can claim everyone who doesn't have your opinion is wrong.

    If the second wedding board on The Knot says that a shower is OK for subsequent weddings, then that's just ridiculous.  I'm on my second marriage.  My DH and I both had huge first weddings.  There was NO way I would've accepted a second shower...that's WAYruder, IMO, than a second baby shower.  Yikes, sounds like that board is full of people wanting lots of attention.  I wonder who didn't hug them when they were children?

    They do indeed say it's fine to have a second shower. (not the same as the first as far as who is usually invited) So do many online sites.

    I think that's going a bit far. (especially as the guest of honour does not plan, host or ask for a shower) If a person's family decides they want to have a shower for someone then other than that family it's really nobody's buisness.(as long as they stick to inviting family members and as long as this is something that is normally done, something that is accepted in that family)

    EDIT to shorten and add.

  • image FrecklesInside:
    I really don't get the rule of no second shower. If it is between friends and family that you know wouldn't be offended but happy to help out and celebrate the pregnancy, why not? I think it is such a stupid "rule." As long as you're not sending out invites to every person she knows - then yes. Do it.

     

    I agree with this.  I know a LOT of ppl on her disgaree, but seriously IF ppl dont like it they wont come!  I don't know why ppl make a big deal out of 2nd and 3rd showers.  Its a baby!  

     

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  • image AprilAngie:

    image FrecklesInside:
    I really don't get the rule of no second shower. If it is between friends and family that you know wouldn't be offended but happy to help out and celebrate the pregnancy, why not? I think it is such a stupid "rule." As long as you're not sending out invites to every person she knows - then yes. Do it.

     

    I agree with this.  I know a LOT of ppl on her disgaree, but seriously IF ppl dont like it they wont come!  I don't know why ppl make a big deal out of 2nd and 3rd showers.  Its a baby!  

     

    That's the thing, a baby shower is NOT about the baby is about welcoming a NEW  MTB to motherhood.  You can't welcome someone who is already a mother into motherhood.  No one is saying you can't celebrate the baby....have a meet the baby party after the baby comes.....if you're worried about germs wait a couple months. 

    No matter how you justify it or try to put a twist on the situation it is TRADITIONALLY tacky and bad ETIQUETTE to have 2nd, 3rd, etc...showers.  No one is saying you have to follow tradition but don't get all huffy and puffy about it when someone who is old school and follows traditions and has proper etiquette doesn't agree with you.

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  • image JuneBugBaby2012:

    Also, if the shower ISN'T about the BABY then why are the the gifts for the BABY? If it's a party for the MTB, then why aren't we showering her with new clothes and a trip to the day spa? Please, the shower is for the baby. BABY shower.

    This is the most idiotic argument in this whole thread. Just like a bridal shower is to set up the bride in her new home with bedding, bath, and kitchen stuff, a baby shower is to set up the MTB with baby stuff, clothes bottles etc. By your logic, we should be giving the bride her dress, her hair do and her flowers for her shower. While it's not an entirely terrible idea, it totally misses the point, as the items for her home are more useful in the long run. Likewise, the items for the baby are more useful and a better use of money than  a day at the spa.

     

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  • OP- the only showers I have been to for babies other than the first born were held because there was a large age gap and the moms had passed along/gotten rid of all of their baby stuff.  They also happened to be for just the first born on a new relationship (new husband/fiance).

    That's not to say we don't have small gatherings for 2nd+ babies.  We just do something simple and don't put registry info with the invitation (if a formal one is sent out).  

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  • Do something tiny, only inviting closest friends and family. See Miss Manners' opinion:

    DEAR MISS MANNERS -- I have been invited to a baby shower for a friend's second child. The first one is just turning 2 years old. I always thought baby showers were for your first child and you used the baby items again for your second child. To me it seems they are begging for gifts.
    My daughter claims this is the norm these days. What is your opinion?

    GENTLE READER -- That your daughter is right: Begging for gifts is normal these days. It is also vulgar, of course. You are also right that baby showers are supposed to be for the expectation of a baby's appearing in a household not already over-run with baby equipment.

    But Miss Manners makes an exception for an informal gathering of the expectant mother's close friends who are moved to make a fuss over her a second -- or fifth -- time. However, the plea that a more formal gathering for the lady's entire acquaintance, complete with those detestable gift registries, would enable the guest of honor to parcel out her shopping is not charming.



    Read more: http://www.newsnet5.com/dpp/lifestyle/miss_manners/miss-manners%3A-a-baby-shower-for-a-2nd-child%3F#ixzz1ncuvISaW
  • image JuneBugBaby2012:
    image Gismo123:
    image AprilAngie:

    image FrecklesInside:
    I really don't get the rule of no second shower. If it is between friends and family that you know wouldn't be offended but happy to help out and celebrate the pregnancy, why not? I think it is such a stupid "rule." As long as you're not sending out invites to every person she knows - then yes. Do it.

     

    I agree with this.  I know a LOT of ppl on her disgaree, but seriously IF ppl dont like it they wont come!  I don't know why ppl make a big deal out of 2nd and 3rd showers.  Its a baby!  

     

    That's the thing, a baby shower is NOT about the baby is about welcoming a NEW  MTB to motherhood.  You can't welcome someone who is already a mother into motherhood.  No one is saying you can't celebrate the baby....have a meet the baby party after the baby comes.....if you're worried about germs wait a couple months. 

    No matter how you justify it or try to put a twist on the situation it is TRADITIONALLY tacky and bad ETIQUETTE to have 2nd, 3rd, etc...showers.  No one is saying you have to follow tradition but don't get all huffy and puffy about it when someone who is old school and follows traditions and has proper etiquette doesn't agree with you.

    I think a celebration for each baby is fine too. If you think it's so awful, then stick your nose in the air and don't go! It's so dumb that people get bent out of shape about it and quote rules and etiquette guidelines. Snore! Even my 80 year old grandmother (who is pretty old school) wants to know about a party for our third baby. Goodness, shame on you grandma for thinking of such a thing! And if you are having a second or more shower and can't invite ANYONE that came to the other showers, you better get some new friends and family or move.

    And I don't care what you call it, sprinkle, shower, sip-n-see, meet the baby, pass the baby, it's a celebration! People are going to bring gifts and if you think putting 'no-gifts' will stop people from doing so you're kidding yourself. If you don't want people to think you've gone off the deep end then don't register.

    Also, if the shower ISN'T about the BABY then why are the the gifts for the BABY? If it's a party for the MTB, then why aren't we showering her with new clothes and a trip to the day spa? Please, the shower is for the baby. BABY shower.

    Well since you want to be nasty bring it on!!  I never ONCE called you a name or was rude to you but since you started it then it's all free game!  You are completely idiotic in your thinking!!!  All a baby needs is clothes, a roof over their head and food!!!  Everything else is for the convenience of the MOTHER!!! So YES the gifts are for the MOTHERRRRRRRR!  

    In 3rd world countries they carry babies on their back, they don't use strollers!!  We use strollers because it's easier on US not the baby!  The baby could care a less if they are carried or put in a stroller as long as they are comfortable!  Instead of being an idiot why don't you look up the actual "baby shower" term and you will flat out see that it says "a celebration to shower the MOTHER to be with gifts".  It doesn't say to shower the baby!

    You need to STOP assuming crap and attacking people!  All I said was it was TRADITIONAL and PROPER ETIQUETTE to only have one shower.  I NEVER said you couldn't celebrate the baby, you don't need to have shower to do that! I could give a flying f*ck what you and your family do so why don't you take your tacky self and do whatever the hell you want and blow etiquette out of the water!

     

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  • image jociejones:

    Do something tiny, only inviting closest friends and family. See Miss Manners' opinion:

    You can usually find both sides online. (EDIT to shorten)

    http://www.emilypost.com/social-life/celebrations-through-life/456-baby-shower-questions-answered

    I guess we all have to do what is proper for ourselves and understand that if we are asking strangers online if it's ok then in that circle it probably isn't. (or you'd already know the answer)

  • image Kasi80:
    I have been to baby showers where the mother already has a young one.  It never crossed my mind that it was tacky.  I had no problems with it.  Do what you feel comfortable with and what your circle of friends and family normally do.

    This. I think it's definitely viewed differently depending on where you are from. I'm from NC and at least around where I'm from we throw a shower for every baby, #1, #2, #3...it doesn't matter. It's a chance for all of us to show MTB that we are excited for her and want to help welcome the baby in whatever small way we can.

     

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  • Oh come on guys, why wouldn't you throw another shower for any subsequent kids you might have? I mean, come on.  If people don't want to spend their money on you, they won't come. There's no harm in INVITING them, they have the OPTION not to come or not to bring a gift if they do come.

    I mean, not a single solitary hormonal and entitled preg-zilla is going to get their feelings hurt that their friends and family didn't show up to shower them with more useless crap that they already got for their first baby. Right?

    I mean, just like every single over-indulgent mommy to be is going to accept the fact that someone just got them something small or cute instead of something practical from their registry.  A mom would never b!tch that someone got them something as sweet as clothes instead of a pnp or diapers, right?  Surely the moms to be are examples of sanity and rationality. 

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  • If you want to.have one for your friend, DO IT!! And if someone finds it tacky then they just won't go, none the less the party will still happen and the baby coming will receive new gifts and your friend will really appreciate what you did for her! If you want to throw one, do it, you don't need approval:)
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  • I would not be comfortable with a shower for a second child.  I would be okay with a small sprinkle with ONLY my best friends or close family members. 

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  • When my SIL was pregnant with her second, I organized a girls day out with manis/pedis and afternoon tea at a hotel.  It was a small group of 6 (just moms and sisters).  For another friend's second child, we had a "pamper the mom-to-be" party with a spa theme.  I like the meet the baby idea, as long as it's not too close to when baby is born.  Allow time for the family to get adjusted.  Just some others ideas than the usual shower.
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  • I think that is nice of you! You should always have it be a diaper shower, and if people want to buy her other things they can..

    My friend had a small tea party for her second, it was really cute and didnt feel gift grab, or tacky

  • image jociejones:

    Do something tiny, only inviting closest friends and family. See Miss Manners' opinion:

    DEAR MISS MANNERS -- I have been invited to a baby shower for a friend's second child. The first one is just turning 2 years old. I always thought baby showers were for your first child and you used the baby items again for your second child. To me it seems they are begging for gifts.
    My daughter claims this is the norm these days. What is your opinion?

    GENTLE READER -- That your daughter is right: Begging for gifts is normal these days. It is also vulgar, of course. You are also right that baby showers are supposed to be for the expectation of a baby's appearing in a household not already over-run with baby equipment.

    But Miss Manners makes an exception for an informal gathering of the expectant mother's close friends who are moved to make a fuss over her a second -- or fifth -- time. However, the plea that a more formal gathering for the lady's entire acquaintance, complete with those detestable gift registries, would enable the guest of honor to parcel out her shopping is not charming.



    Read more: http://www.newsnet5.com/dpp/lifestyle/miss_manners/miss-manners%3A-a-baby-shower-for-a-2nd-child%3F#ixzz1ncuvISaW

     

    This is exactly how I feel!  A close gathering of close friends (I believe someone mentioned a diaper shower - great idea!!!)  is perfect, but a bigger "shower" with gifts/registering/etc is tacky, IMO.  

    On a funny note - my DD asked me if I was having a shower (#3 is due in 3 weeks) and my DH and I looked at each other and said  "no way!"  lol. 

  • Have a "Sprinkle." Its a new fad here in CO. It's understood its for 2nd pregnancies that are of the opposite sex than the first. Etiquette says for these that it's only clothes seeing that the mother has everything she needs from the first. Sometimes the mom doesn't even open the gifts because it's more of just a party than a shower. 
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