TTC after 35

Can you still imagine it....

With the DH and I deciding to move forward with one try of IVF.... my mind is certainly going slightly crazy. We have not even started and I already have financial doubts about our decision. I'm pretty conservative with anything $$$ and this is pushing me outside the box (and down the street).  Anyways, after  years of TTC can you still envision yourself PG?

The other day as I was sitting with my thoughts I realized that I no longer worry about buying new clothes for fear of getting PG, and I don't avoid planning getaways for fear of being PG at the time.

TTC since 2009 very frustrated 42yr and DH 40

5 cycles of Clomid with satisfactory response=BFN's
Fibroid removal Nov2010
IUI Clomid #1 Feb 2011...BFN..damn it!
IUI Inject's #2 Apr 2011...CANCELLED...low estradiol
IUI Inject's #3 June 2011...BFN
IUI Inject's #4 Sept2011...BFFN
Lap Dec 2011...severe endo..cyst removed..some remains...
IVF#1 Apr 2012 ....cancelled due to over suppression
IVF#2 July 2012....6 follies...only 1 retrieved....BFFN
surgery suggested to move ovary to an better placement but....we moved two time zones away and are financially and emotionally empty

Re: Can you still imagine it....

  • You're doing great if you are going only slightly crazy!  Smile

    I hear you with the $$ part, but I know if we don't go for it we may have regrets down the road.  (We're doing a lot of praying and IUIs until we make the jump to IVF in July, if necessary.) It's not so much that I can envision myself pregnant; it's moreso that I can't envision us without child/ren for the rest of our lives.  Perhaps I can't picture it, because I don't want to?

    Best of luck to you! When are you moving forward with your IVF cycle? 

    TTC since 10/2010
    IUIs # 1-5 = BFFN
    IVF # 1(July 2012) = BFN
    IVF # 2 (November 2012) = BFP (MIssed MC D&C @ 8w3d on 1/10/13)
    IVF # 3 (June 2013) = BFN 
    IVF # 4 (September 2013) = BFP Fraternal twin boys! (Loss at 21w6d due to IC on 1/26/14...devastated.)
    3/21/14--TAC (transabdominal cerclage) w/Dr. Davis in NJ
    IVF # 5 (May 2014) = BFN
    FET (August 2014) = BFN

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • I can't really...  :(  I used to do the same thing--planning things assuming I would be pg by then, etc.  I also used to hesitate when I bought new clothes thinking I would not be able to wear them very much.  It's so sad that I don't even consider that stuff anymore.  I guess that is what multiple years of TTC will do to you..
    Me: 40 Dh: 41, TTC since August 2009, began Acupuncture and Herbs Sept 2011, began Temping and Charting Nov 2011. image
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  • The financial gamble is what's giving me pause about moving forward with DE.  What if I fall on the wrong side of the statistics.....lady luck hasn't exactly bee along with me on this journey.  Guarantee program sounds good, but there is a new donor fee $7500 with each new cycle/donor.

    I can still imagine myself pg, but that pipe dream is far away-like a cruise ship off on the horizon.  I feel like we are not getting any younger and some days I just don't understand why we don't throw in the towel. 

    TTC since 10/09 Me-43 DH-44 RE and testing 10/10-11/10, Recommending IVF 1/11 New RE AMA and DOR-DH low motility IVF #1.1 cancelled 3/11 due to poor response IVF #1.2 May 2011, one perfect 8-cell embryo, 3dt-BFN, IVF #2.1 Converted to IUI d/t poor response. New RE 9/2011. IVF 2.2 completed using HGH,EPP,DHEA, Q-10 and accupuncture. Transferred one 8-cell, grade one embryo on 10/19. BFP 10/31/11 Chemical pregancy on 11/2/11. Started stims for IVF #3, our final try, on 12-2-11. ET on 12/18. Transferred 3 Grade A embryos-BFFN Planning DE IVF, late March/early April- Donors ER expected to be 4/2-4/4. PAIF/SAIF welcome
  • I agree that the $$ aspects do not help mentally. And, I find it harder and harder to imagine myself PG. In times of hope, I only think of getting that BFP and maybe a first u/s. Beyond that, pregnancy is such a foreign idea at this point that I just can't picture it.
    TTC #1 since June 2010
    Me: 36, DH: 42
    Dx: DOR and MFI

    DH: low count + very low motility; hormones all normal; Sperm DNA Frag. test = poor to fair; male karyotyping normal
    Me: FSH 13.4 + AMH 0.26 + hypothyroidism; Scratch the hypothyrodism (?); Blood clotting and immune panel all negative; endometrial biopsy normal

    IVF #1 (MDLF - Jul/Aug 2011): BFN (9R, 5M, 3F with ICSI, 3dt of 1 10-cell grade 2, no frosties)
    IVF #2 (EP-antagonist - Sep/Oct 2011): BFN (6R, 4M, 3F w/ ICSI, 3dt of 1 6-cell, 1 7-cell, grade 4s, no frosties)
    DE IVF #1 (shared cycle - June 2012): c/p (6R, 6F w/ICSI, 3dt 1 8-cell grade A- and 1 7-cell grade A-; no frosties)
    DE IVF #2 (shared cycle with new donor - Nov/Dec/ 2012): - BFP!!!!! 12/14/12. U/S on 12/27 shows twins!!!!!

  • Sort of. I've had to assume no as a protective stance. However, we are starting to consider summer plans taking into consideration a possible early pregnancy and I'm scheduling a spring visit to my parents before my IVF cycle rather than after, just in case.

    Yeah, the money thing is scary and unfair given most people get to pay so little. We will be up to $38000 (!) in treatment costs after we pay for the next IVF cycle. Fortunately, we'll have paid off about half of it by then as well. Frugality is no fun, but Go us! I've always been conservative with money (both out of temperament and necessity), so if I can make the gamble so can you!

    A positive thing about IF/the ridiculously high cost of health care to pay for it is the great feeling of coming together with your partner to work towards a goal.

  • Money and the cost of IUI and IVF freaks me out.  We aren't there yet and currently spending money on less expensive acupuncture and TCM.   But we are thinking of going to Brazil next year and money for that trip may well go to fertility treatments.  We have a year to save.  My husband is completing a degree in creative writing and if it wasn't for our age we would continue with trying naturally.  But the thought of the what ifs is what is propelling us right now. 
    37, TTC since Jan 2011, ectopic 1 at 6 weeks Aug 2011, started acupuncture herbs Jan 2012, ectopic 2 at 6 weeks May 2012, next step referral to a specialist
  • It's sometimes very hard to imagine but I still have hope.
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