so many questions! 1. special needs intl adoption — The Bump

so many questions! 1. special needs intl adoption

So unbeknownst to me, it seems as if God might have a different plan for us... I've fallen in love with a waiting child with special needs from Russia. DH and I have committed to deciding by Monday whether we will pursue her adoption. Theoretically if we get our butts in gear she could be home by Christmas. Wow.

Anyone here ever done an international special needs adoption? I'd love to bounce some things around with someone!

And forgive me in advance. I'm splitting my main questions into three posts to not clobber anything up.

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Re: so many questions! 1. special needs intl adoption

  • I adopted my son, M, when he was 7.  He needed cardiac surgery and was also considered special needs because he was older and had suffered a previous failed adoption (when they discovered the heart problem and thought they were adopting a healthy child).

    It's been such a blessing, and I'm leaving tomorrow to adopt another boy, J, from his same orphanage!  J is also considered special needs because he's 5 and presumptively diagnosed with a genetic disorder (that we don't think he has, based on his medical records).

    Sometimes special needs adoption is called that for something you can truly just fix and move on from (like certain heart conditions, cleft palates, club feet, etc).  Sometimes it's more long-term.  It turned out that M has dyslexia which is affecting his ability to learn in a conventional classroom.  No one knew that, and just like when you give birth, there's no way to guarantee anything.  What it comes down to, though, is making sure that you are comfortable in the knowledge that you can care for and love any child you commit to adopting, regardless of his needs.

    I'll be around some, but as I travel, it will be hard for me to post regularly.  Good luck!

  • Thanks!

    Her particular condition is confirmed unfortunately, and surprisingly it's the "special needs" part of it that scares us the least! I can deal with that. I can deal with the doctors and the rest. But can I "deal" with helping her heal emotionally. I just keep telling myself if it's not me, it might not be anyone.

    My DH is scared to break our "new normal" that we've just established after the girls were born and in the NICU for so long and we've finally gotten into a new groove. I understand, but also know that I will never regret adding to our family, but I might regret losing her.

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  • We adopted our daughter internationally at 6 months of age.  Although we did not know it at the time she was special needs.  We slowly discovered her delays as the months passed.  She has global developmental delays (significant motor delays -did not crawl until 13 months or walk until 2 yrs 3 months).  We had her diagnosed with PDD-NOS at 18 months and this opened the door ot some great therapy.  It was a long, hard road as we also have a son who is 24 months older but I can say that at age 3 1/2 we are very hopeful about the future and would not change a thing.  She is the love of our lives!

    Check out my on line friend Ashli's blog.  We were in the same April 06 due date group and she has since adopted a little girl with Down Syndrome from the Ukraine.  They are doing awesome (and she has 5 other children!).  Gives a new meaning to the word busy!!!! 

  •  We just brought home our son in December :) Five years old, cognitive disabilities/autism/etc. I'm happy to answer any questions that you have or listen to you "freak out." I was absolutely terrified out of my mind during much of the process, so I can relate a little to the pre-commitment nerves.
  • We are adopting special needs from Russia too!  Feel free to bounce ideas off of me, although we are early in the process too.

    TTC September 2010 thru October 2011
    SA February 2011: Normal
    RE App. October 2011 - Recc. Clomid and IUI

    Taking a break from TTC to pursue adoption

    Met our 2 year old son in Russia July 2012!
    Court trip October 2012
    Home November 24 2012!

    Back to RE Summer 2013. TTC journey continues: 

    Dx DOR, endometriosis, low sperm count 
    Clomid + IUI#1, #2 = BFN / IUI #3 = ???

    Laparoscopy scheduled December 2013

    Adding a Burden
  • I can't comment b/c our SN adoption is on hold right now, but I wanted to wish you luck! We were going to adopt a child with Down syndrome and were looking at Reece's Rainbow. We already have a DD with Down syndrome, so we were to looking to add to our family that way.

    I hope everything goes smoothly for you!!

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  • I'm sorry I haven't been back to check my replies! It's been a week full of prayer and thought.

    The good news is that regardless of the speed bumps we are sure to encounter along the way, we're 99% sure we're proceeding with bringing our sweet girl home.

    Could those of you who offered to be my sounding board PM your email addresses? I would love to start a little email group.


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