School/academic decisions

fellesferie

So, we're stressing about DS's school district for two reasons: one, the school board hates the school, and they're about to drive the principal away. two, the high school we're zoned for is abysmal.

Lately we're talking all the time about moving, and we've been trying to decide what the best schools would be for the kids. I just made an appointment to tour a private school where some friends of ours have sent their kids.

The school we're looking into is Christian. None of us (me, DH, XH) are religious, so this is purely an academic issue for everyone.  It's pretty expensive, but I have no intention of asking XH for any $$ on top of what he already pays.  

At what point do I need to discuss all this with XH? He's 2,000 miles away, and I doubt he could even tell you the name of DS's current school.

I get really frazzled about this kind of thing. Because, while it's likely he won't have an opinion at all, I would be incredibly pissed if he told me no. It's his right to have a say, and I would have no choice but to respect it. But at the same time, he's not here to deal with any of this.

kasper923

My XH is useless in this regard too.  He rarely sees DS and doesn't pay child support.  I do however keep him informed of the decisions I've made and why.  I'd just do my research and tell him that DS will be switching to a better school.  My XH trusts me implicitly though when it comes to DS.  He knows I'm not going to do anything that's not in his best interest.  I'm betting it won't be a problem for you.  Good luck and I hope it works out.

Holly_1007

maybe when you word it, don't ask for his opinion? Just say something along the lines of

"due to xyz circumstances I have made the decision to enroll DS at ABC school, he will be beginning on 123 date"

don't even go into the fact that its private or religious, especially if you aren't asking him to pay for it.  if he cares enough, he will ask more about the school or do some research on his own

Littlejen22

I would give him an FYI that DS will be attending X school, if he questions it then tell him you guys are paying for it b/c your local schools are horrible.

fellesferie

Thanks.

It sucks because we moved to this neighborhood for the school. It's unique (in this county at least ) as it's a magnet school and has a small zone. It's actually been internationally recognized for being a great school. But they're getting overcrowded, and are a constant topic of conversation for the school board and in the local media. The director of magnet schools has recently gone on record saying that they'll likely soon have to decide whether to be magnet OR zone. And if they go zone, the principal (and a lot of funding and other magnet perks) will be out the door. If they go magnet, we'll be redistricted for another school. It's a lose-lose for us.

We'll just go forward with our research and figure out a way to ask him without really asking him. I really like the suggestion of laying out all the pros and cons. XH isn't illogical, and I think giving him all the information may appeal to him.