Top 10 things to never say to a pregnant woman:

sherstgeo

 Great news! It turns out you are allowed to b!tch slap anyone that says the following from here on out - yay!

"Hey there, big mama!"

"My God, you're enormous! Are you sure you're not having twins?"

"Well, looks like the boob fairy has visited you!"

"Should you be eating that?"

"You shouldn't be feeling so tired/cranky/insert-symptom-here. You're not that pregnant yet."

"So, are you still with the father?"

"How do you walk without falling forward?"

"Are you gonna get fixed after this one?"

"Enjoy sleep/time to yourself/insert-any-enjoyable-activity-here now, because you'll never get any once the baby comes!"

From any husband or SO (or anyone else for that matter): "Yeah, this pregnancy has been really hard on me, too."

alicatt79

LOL!!

Sunny1inTucson

Those are all good, but I think "Was it planned?" could easily replace one of those up there...like # 7.

britishbride05

LOL 

MrsScottBrady

LOL! Great list!

britishbride05

Sunny1inTucson:

Those are all good, but I think "Was it planned?" could easily replace one of those up there...like # 7.

 

oh!  i totally agree with that.  it should be a bonus quote.

alicia_angell

love it!

 I've one to add - said to me by a male co-worker last week

 #11: You're sure looking heavy today. 

 people can be such jackasses!

jess1984

I think I did hit one of my friends for one of those comments... And another for the "was it planned" comment. They were just teasing though, I think. I hated teh customers that came in to my store and said those things to me... so happy to be done work!!!!!!!!!

sherstgeo

haha - or in my case, when people find out that this is our 5th: "Don't you guys have cable?"

Dan&Maggie

Nice one!

busygal

LMAO, I'd way rather get a question about the boob fairy than "Was it planned?"

kittytaylor1

I sure have a lot of b*tch slapping to do then!!

303jess303

haha, i should print this out and hand it to people!!!

sammi74

LOL!! ?I've definitely heard #2, #9 and #10 (my husband says we probably shouldn't have any more kids b/c he doesn't think he could go through this again -- real nice!!). ?I'd have to add #11: "Your belly button seems to have a life of it's own" as another favorite that I've been told.

juniorbean14519

How about:

"Are you planning on marrying the father after the baby is born?"

I work in a very small, religious town and I AM MARRIED but my rings haven't fit since the 3rd month!  So I get lovely "oh crap" looks when i say that I am married and just can't wear my rings

faygojumper

" are you still with the father?" I get asked this question all the time thanks to my teenager-like tattoos and body size. When I say yes they generally look me up and down, smile sweetly and say something along the lines of " well that's good for you." as if implying he'll be gone tomorrow.

I need a bigger wedding ring.