Is anyone in the same situation?

HopefulHalley10

Is anyone in the same situation as us? Is so I could so use someone to talk to ....

 

We know how we are going to adopt (domestic) we have an agency picked out, we've got a baby room, we've been slowly acquiring baby supplies for said baby room, our families know we're adopting, our friends know we're adopting.... but now we're in the pre-wait stage

We just don't have enough money to get this thing off the ground and it's so frustrating. We moved in August which was a big part of our overall family plan but right now we're both in school and both working nights. I'll graduate in June and when I do I'm hoping to find a better job and a day shift but even still I have hopes of paying off some debt while we wait for our baby.  

We're willing to do fundraisers but coming up with $30,000 is just so intimidating.  Is anyone ready to go just waiting for the last few life things to get sorted out? It's so frustrating. If we could at least be waiting with a purpose (i.e. waiting to be chosen) I think I would feel better. Right now it feels like it's never going to happen.......

 

** pity party right here ** 

silliestbunny

We aren't in your situation... but I wanted to give you a big "YOU CAN DO IT"!! 

Don't let the $$$ scare you... get excited about being frugal. For me, being frugal and bored while waiting was tough.  Don't let it get you down.  Instead focus on the creative ways you can save money.  Can you get a second job... something to through every dime towards adoption?  Can you gather your friends "old stuff" and Ebay it or yard sell it?  Have fun with it... and remember it will happen!

tfkre8ive

The money part was daunting to me, until I realized that I wouldn't think twice about taking out a loan to finance a car. So why should I freak out about taking out a loan to finance an adoption? The car won't be mine forever, the baby/child will. We don't have enough in liquid assets right now, but we'll take out loans to finance what we need to finance.

What I haven't figured out yet is I'm saving all this money to pay for the adoption, but how do I save additional money to pay for FMLA since I don't get any paid time off for adoptions. I'll be able to take paid vacation and personal time for 3 weeks, but beyond that it's unpaid time off.

jillianmb

We were in the same situation as you when we started our adoption.  We had just bought a house and I had recently graduated with my master's degree.  We decided to continue making minimum payments on our debt (car and school) and put every penny on my income toward the adoption.  We live on DH's income.  The majority of our adoption money has come from fund-raising though. I'm making jewelry, we are participating in a coffee fundraiser, we're selling shirts, and we're hosing a fundraising breakfast.  That has helped  a lot, but even still most of our money has come from flat out donations.  We sent out letters to all our friends and family, asking them to donate.  We are doing an international adoption though and something about doing international seems to make people want to donate more.  I'm not sure if we would have recieved the same results doing a domestic adoption. 

Anyway- live frugally and fundraise your heart out! My blog and FB has been a big help in getting the word out there about our fundraisers.  I'd advise doing the same as us: put more-than-minimum debt repayment on hold and concentrate on the adoption. You can concentrate on that after baby comes home, since you'll already have the frugal living skills you used during the wait!  GL!

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Chele

We are in a waiting stage as well, though not the identical situation. We will be going the international route and are waiting to have some work done on our house before officially getting on the wait list. But we are also contemplating saving more to afford two adoptions at once (siblings) but we'll have to see if that's even possible. I would rather be officially waiting than in limbo but hopefully we can get going this spring. 

I hope your "pre-wait" is shorter than you think.  

bumpuser794640

We are also in the pre-waiting stage, partly because I'm finishing up my graduate degree and partly because we have to save a lot of $$ before we start the process.  It is frustrating, but I just keep reminding myself that we will get the baby we're "supposed" to have when the time is right.  It does help that I have school to focus on at the moment.   Good luck with your wait!

erinmc1

The money side of things was really intimidating to us, too.  But like one of the PP, we decided to take out a loan in the form of mortgaging our house.  I did some fundraising.  We sold some unneeded stuff.  I've actually found that buying the actual baby stuff is the part we just hadn't calculated into the scenario.  We've spent way over a grand on furniture, and what I consider "the basics" because we didn't have a traditional baby shower.  But it's all do-able.  You just have to make some lifestyle changes and make it a priority.  Also, there are grants available, and not all agencies charge $30K.  Ours charges a flat $21K.  There are loan agencies that give loans specific to adoptions that you could look into, as well.