baby showers — The Bump
Adoption

baby showers

Talk to me about how you did yours. I want a baby shower which is ironic b/c I have boycotted them for the past three years. But before that I was very involved with making favors, diaper cakes etc for my friends.

So far I have the place picked out and the guest list. I also know what type of favors we can make. Oh and the invite wording.. thanks to pinterest!

My understanding is that we will be match with a child in China but there will be a few months btw matching and flying out. We live out of state so it may make more sense to have a meet the baby gathering. The biggest question is before or after.  

Looking for different ideas. Thanks!

Re: baby showers

  • This may be a UO, but a baby shower is not for the mother to plan. It's considered tacky and gift-grabby. It's for friends or family to suggest or plan.

    As for our shower, MIL threw us one when DD was 7 weeks old. GMIL hosted it at her house.

  • image Dr.Loretta:

    This may be a UO, but a baby shower is not for the mother to plan. It's considered tacky and gift-grabby. It's for friends or family to suggest or plan.

    As for our shower, MIL threw us one when DD was 7 weeks old. GMIL hosted it at her house.

    yeah. you are right. We are going to do all the planning and prob going to say its given my sister, the godmother...to avoid looking like a gift grabber and to keep mother and MIL out of the planning.  Not becuase mom and MIL wont do it but b/c they are crazy and incompetant; and I would rather do it myself...we learned this many times over while planning for our wedding.

     

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  • MIL and SILs threw DD and I a shower when she was about 2 weeks old. She began planning it when we were matched, which we only had about 4 weeks from match to birth.

    After 3 failed IUIs, we welcomed our daughter through adoption. She is the love of my life.

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  • Why don't you wait and see if someone (maybe a friend) offers to give you a shower?  Honestly, it does look very gift-grabby to plan your own shower.  I would bet someone will be excited for you and plan something.

    If not, you could also do a Meet The Baby thing after the baby is home for a while.  That you could host (just have a lot of great food, lol) and keep the emphasis less on gifts and more on meeting your child.

     

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  • image pepiono_627:
    image Dr.Loretta:

    This may be a UO, but a baby shower is not for the mother to plan. It's considered tacky and gift-grabby. It's for friends or family to suggest or plan.

    As for our shower, MIL threw us one when DD was 7 weeks old. GMIL hosted it at her house.

    yeah. you are right. We are going to do all the planning and prob going to say its given my sister, the godmother...to avoid looking like a gift grabber and to keep mother and MIL out of the planning.  Not becuase mom and MIL wont do it but b/c they are crazy and incompetant; and I would rather do it myself...we learned this many times over while planning for our wedding.

     

    Sorry, still tacky and gift grabby. Your sister can't do this? You don't have friends who would throw you one?

  • I really dont feel like I have friends to that caliber anymore that live in my home state. My two closest friends have moved out of state...but those friendships are not what they used to be.  I guess I do have one friend would host it at her house. I shut down comunication as I was going through fertility treatments which was the peak of everyone else having their babies. Theres several people that are not going to be invited for this reason. I feel that its even weird to invite them b/c I was boycotting showers in general.

     

  • Sorry that you had to step back from friendships. But showers are not something you host yourself, they're parties people throw for you. If you don't have one, well, that's too bad, but it's not the end of the world. I didn't have a bridal shower. I still had a lovely wedding and marriage.

    If your sister offers to throw you a shower to welcome your new baby, great! If not, you can always throw a party to have people come meet your child.

  • image Dr.Loretta:

    Sorry that you had to step back from friendships. But showers are not something you host yourself, they're parties people throw for you. If you don't have one, well, that's too bad, but it's not the end of the world. I didn't have a bridal shower. I still had a lovely wedding and marriage.

    If your sister offers to throw you a shower to welcome your new baby, great! If not, you can always throw a party to have people come meet your child.

    Yes. I see your point. I am really starting to like the meet the baby gathering. Thanks everyone for your input.

  • I have always thought that meet the baby parties are really cute ideas. I've actually been to one, and it was much more fun than a shower, because there was an actual baby there! Plus, you can make it whatever you want it to be, and most people visiting a baby for the first time will bring a gift just for good measure. 

    If you don't end up having someone throw you a shower, don't feel bad. The ugly truth about baby showers is that you register, and then most people just buy baby clothes that they think are cute, or things that they used and think are must haves. Nobody oo's and ahh's at a car seat or a pack n' play, so who wants to show up with that? Then you still have to go out and buy everything else yourself. 

    I love throwing parties, and I always think I have the cutest ideas, so I can kind of understand where you are coming from with wanting to plan it yourself, but I think the other ladies are right. Showers are parties thrown for you by others, but there are plenty of parties you can throw for yourself!

    My son had the largest, most beautiful baptismal party ever. It was kind of out of control...We filled every pew in the chapel and I was so glad that he was the only one being christened that day, or I would have been a little embarrassed! LOL

    It wasn't supposed to be a gift type of party, but his godparents and most of our friends and relatives who were meeting him for the first time brought him something anyway. We had decided to have a big party for the baptism, because most of our family lives out of town and it gave them a good excuse to come home and meet the new baby and socialize with everyone else. Plus, it was a very special day for me and my side of the family, because my son wore my deceased father's christening gown. 

    So, yes, showers are traditional, but don't fret, they aren't the end all and be all of swanky baby parties. And hey, who wants to do the same old thing everyone else is doing anyway! ;-)

    Good luck with everything!

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  • I had a group of family/friends that really wanted to throw a "Welcome" shower for E, so we did it when she was about 7 weeks old.

    I love meet the baby parties, they are so much fun!  

  • This isn't meant to flame you but give you a perspective to think about...

    If you've cut off attending baby showers during IF, people may have noticed and it may seem quite greedy to now be comfortable with them since it's "your turn".  I am not judging you for not having the stomach to go to showers during your struggles... just something to think about.

    If it were me, and I had no one offering to throw me a shower, I'd wait upon return with your baby and I'd host an open house and I would purposely say this is just a meet and greet... no presents please.  I'd keep it low key w/o elaborate invitations and favors.  Bottom line, if you throw a party yourself, try and make it clear that it's a simple "come meet our new baby" and make it clear that it's not a shower..  The idea of inviting people to come and bring you presents especially after not being present at your friends showers could prove to be resentment-causing.

    Regardless of parties... how exciting.  You are on your journey to your baby!!! 

    image Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 months
  • When sending out DD's birth announcement I included a little sheet of paper that invited everyone to help welcome her into our family.  I rented out the fire house, rented linens for the tables, did all the decorating myself and asked friends to bring along a plate of food (we had tomato pie, pretzels, dips, etc.)  I didn't even think of it as throwing myself a shower, although I did put our registry info on the invite. 

    Basically the party was bigger than our wedding, over 80 attended and everyone had the opportunity to hold DD and get pictures.  Family and friends came from 5 different states.  It was so nice to get together with family that wasn't for a funeral or something sad like that.

    Our adoption was finalized January 2012!
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