Now it could be the hormones and the crazy dreams, but I'm having trouble sleeping while thinking about this one.
My DH right now is at Basic Training for the Air Force, and I'm 26 weeks. Thank goodness his graduation is in 3 weeks, because I've been missing him like crazy.
His tech school lasts 2 years, which means I'll most likely be able to move in with him in 7 weeks or so from right now, which isn't terrible, but it's in California, and I'm in NYC right now. As soon as we realized the timing, we had planned for me to move out there ASAP (my boxes are already packed!), but now that the baby's getting bigger, I'm starting to have second thoughts.
Pros for going out there:
-DH gets to see baby
-I/we get to be with DH
Cons/Reasons to stay home:
-I have no idea what to do with a baby! (First Time Mom) Research isn't everything.
-No family out there, nor are they willing to stay out there for an extended period.
-He doesn't have Paternity Leave (For example, if I go into labor on my due date, a Wednesday, I have to call his school, have him meet me, and the next day he has to be back in school unless he wants to suffer in his class). = I'm alone right away.
I woke up in a panic just now terrified of my baby having SIDS or any other unpredictable problem, or if he's colicky and I get frustrated while I'm out there and take it out on baby. I'm so scared and I know it would break his heart (and mine) if he couldn't be there for the birth. His letters are always filled with how excited he is for our [soon to be] son, and how he won't stop talking about his son. I feel like so many women would trade anything to have their husbands with them for their first birth and I shouldn't even for a second not want that, but I want my baby healthy. My selfish self wants to go out and meet him, but in fear of not doing right by the baby, a lot of me is wanting to stay here. I just can't bear the thought of waiting until the summer and the baby's already a few months old for him to meet his Daddy and vice versa.
My family thinks I should stay, he/his family thinks I should go. What do you ladies think? I know a lot of you have been there/done that and probably have a more level headed approach. Should I stay or should I go?