Update

ImAnAE101

Thanks for asking Robin

We got some things hashed out last night. He never saw any texts, he was bluffing. As far as the sprint password change...I guess I someone changed something when I was logged in, so he just got an email that a change had been made and didn't know why so he logged in and changed the password. He showed me the emails from sprint, so that was all true.

Counseling...well...I don't know yet. He hates the idea. He thinks its a waste on money. He thinks its just someone who doesn't know us or our marriage telling us what to do and always finding more problems so we'll keep coming back and paying them. *sigh* He *says* he's willing to compromise and go talk to our pastor. I know I should take that and run with it. But I'm embarassed. I don't know how I'll handle telling someone everything, and then seeing them in other situations (church and other events) and pretending like everything is a-okay. I just don't think I could pull off pretending anymore.

I looked up the info for the couselor I used to go. I really really liked her. Iw as a college student at the time so the church that she worked through covered a lot of the cost, I have no idea what it's going to cost me now. I have her number but haven't called yet. I don't really know why honestly.

I guess that's it for now, thanks for asking.

 

scottsbride379

Counseling is not a waste of money for someone who has trust issues like he does. And what about him bluffing (read: lying) about being able to read your texts? Talk about manipulative.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this kind of thing but I am glad you broached the subject of counseling with him. If he's willing to talk to your pastor, maybe he'll come around to the counseling.

Kitiara5512

As for seeing someone in other contexts after the counseling, you get to suck it up and deal with it. It sucks. Its awfully uncomfortable. It makes you want to crawl into a hole and die depending on the situation. But you have a kid to take care of and a marriage and husband you care deeply about, so you raise your chin up, stare down anyone who looks to judge you, and keep on trucking. Good luck.

kelbel527

Glad you were able to talk through it last night.  I agree that counseling is NOT a waste of money and if you get the right one, any money is well spent to preserve a marriage.

However, I would take what I could get and start with the Pastor.  It may be uncomfortable in other situations, but again, I would say it's worth it if it can help your marriage. 

Good luck!!

RobinSparkles214

I know you didn't ask for more advice, but I have to say that I think talking with a third party (your pastor) sounds like an amazing idea. Try to realize that your pastor handles things like that all the time. There is great benefit in having an unbiased set of ears to help mediate any issue. No one has a great, lasting marriage without hitting some bumps in the road. Ebb and flow baby, ebb and flow.

It is not uncommon for trust issues to come into play at some point during a marriage, but if you just ignore it and don't address the cause, it won't ever really get better. Imaginations get the best of people sometimes, and it's very easy to get an idea out of something and run with it. Just try being very transparent with one another for the time being, and see if that helps.

I've been down that road and counseling was the best thing that has happened in our relationship. It gave us tools to work with in the future and we still go back to some of the things we were taught from time to time. Best of luck to you and your DH.