Morbid conversation with mom

jarebearsmom

She informed me Saturday that she will be dying soon.

She has A LOT of health problems and she really victimizes herself. (If you don't call her everyday then you hate her and she must have done something wrong and you're never going to fogive her) She just went on a cruise and spent the whole week in the bed because she was in so much pain. She's only 44.

Her dad passed away in September (he lived with her) and I feel like she thinks now she has nothing to live for. It was just really depressing. (And I kind of feel like she told me that just so I would go see her because I haven't seen her since Christmas. So, I took J to see her that night)

[Deleted User]

I'm sorry, that sounds awful & stressful.    Glad you went to visit her though.

jarebearsmom

sofamonkey:

I'm sorry, that sounds awful & stressful.    Glad you went to visit her though.

She fussed because we wouldn't let J spend the night with her (long story but DH and I decided he's not allowed to be alone with her) and I'm thinking "I thought you were dying and couldn't get out of bed. How are you going to take care of a 13 month old?" But I just told her that we weren't going to be coming back to town on Sunday and he needed to be at his church

[Deleted User]

mands629:

Ugh.  Everyone is going to die at one point or another.  It's one of those morbid facts that I try not to think about (although easier said then done with the geratric community).

I think if she pulls the "I'm dying" card, ask her what her wishes are for when that time comes.  You want to be that daughter who carries out her wishes when it comes to the end of her life.  Maybe that will sush her up a bit.  You can also invite her to see you and J - make her see what she's missing by prematurely giving up on life.

I you! 

lrn327

sofamonkey:

mands629:

Ugh.  Everyone is going to die at one point or another.  It's one of those morbid facts that I try not to think about (although easier said then done with the geratric community).

I think if she pulls the "I'm dying" card, ask her what her wishes are for when that time comes.  You want to be that daughter who carries out her wishes when it comes to the end of her life.  Maybe that will sush her up a bit.  You can also invite her to see you and J - make her see what she's missing by prematurely giving up on life.

I you! 

Agreed - not sure anyone could put it better than Mands!  Sorry she's doing this though and I agree on not letting J spend the night.

--halo--

Why does she think she is dying??  She probably has a bunch of ideas of why, but has she actually been to a doctor that has told her she is dying?  Maybe a trip to one might help!   

jarebearsmom

--halo--:

Why does she think she is dying??  She probably has a bunch of ideas of why, but has she actually been to a doctor that has told her she is dying?  Maybe a trip to one might help!   

she goes to them all the time. at one point she said she had a tumor on her brain. She has to go for a sleep study Wed and they're monitoring her heart. She has fibromalgae (sp?), osteoporosis, BP problems, heart flutters, can't raise her arms above her head, and is on every medicine under the sun including cymbalta 

jarebearsmom

mands629:

Ugh.  Everyone is going to die at one point or another.  It's one of those morbid facts that I try not to think about (although easier said then done with the geratric community).

I think if she pulls the "I'm dying" card, ask her what her wishes are for when that time comes.  You want to be that daughter who carries out her wishes when it comes to the end of her life.  Maybe that will sush her up a bit.  You can also invite her to see you and J - make her see what she's missing by prematurely giving up on life.

that's how I feel and that's great advice. I'm so going to do that. I tell her she's always welcome and whenever I do she says "oh. I didn't know. Is that an invitation?" UGH!!!