need some advice...

jdk033

Hey there folks,

18 weeks here and having a slight mental breakdown
My fiancee and I are both in the military, and both currently posted to the same base. Currently, that is... in April or sooner he is going to be going away for training in Ontario for at least a year - while I'll still be posted here in Hali.

I was planning on going home to Sk. to have the baby, since he will be gone anyways, but over the holidays my mum was diagnosed with cancer... so it looks like that option is now out of the window as well.

My brother is trying to convince me to pack up and follow my fiancee - he doesn't understand how the military works - and my mother in law wants me to go up to Newfoundland [where his family is] to have the baby.

Either way, I will be living in a strange city and not with my family.

 Can anyone help me out? I just don't know if I should stay in Hali, go home, go to Newfoundland, or try to follow the fiancee... sigh

mamameg11

So sorry you are having to go through this. If you and your fiance get married now (before he leaves), would that change anything? If not and following him just isn't a possibility, then I would recommend you go wherever you are going to get the most help. Its tough after baby gets here and if you don't have your fiance, then you'll need someone to give you a break here an there. Good luck!

lpichach

You are going to need support, and there's no doubt about that. So try to outweigh the different options. Fortunately as long as you're near a major airport, flights are always an option when seat-sales come around. NFLD is likely the hardest to fly to. 

Likely your DH will want to be aroudn you ,but if he's working such that'd you'd barely see him anyways, or it would be during such short intervals, that's probably not the best.  it'd be good for you to be around your mother (whom I assume is in Saskatchewan), but that would be for you to support her, which may be hard for you.  If you get along great with your MIL, then NFLD is a fun place and you are guaranteed a ton of support, adn that way wehn DH comes to visit, he'd also ge tthe joys of visiitng home. 

not sure if that helps any, but definitley consider the realistic support you'd have with each adn travel times to each location.

dreambig527

Only you know what's right for you. If it was me, I'd be doing everything I could to follow my husuband. I know the military works in mysterious ways sometimes- but how is it that you can move with your parents or your in-laws but you can't with him?

jdk033

If I went to NFL or Sk, I would have family to stay with.
If I went with the fiancee I would have to find my own place to live - since I'm not posted to that area I wouldn't be able to get military quarters, so I'd be paying mortgage on our house in Hali and an apartment in Kingston - a town that I have never been to before and know almost no one there.

AprilAngie

stay in Canada as its cheaper for delivery.  lol.  (I live in Canada)  Not sure where "Hali." is that Halifax? 

 

jdk033

Hali is Halifax, NFL is Newfoundland, and Sk is Saskatchewan.
All in Canada