I know it's been discussed before, but... "No gifts, please"?

bump54321

So, DS's birthday is this month, and we'll be having his birthday party later this month.  DH and I have talked about requesting no gifts since DS got so much for Christmas and he has more toys than any of us know what to do with.  So, today DH asked if I was going to put "No gifts, please." on the invitation.  I told him I thought about it, but thought that people never really follow that request.  He suggested asking invitees to make a donation to the charity of their choice instead or to ask them to bring 15 oz cans of tomato products since our church is collecting that specific item for `donation to the food pantry.  So, what say you, oh wise Bumpies?  Is it tacky?  Should we just say no gifts?  Should we just leave it off completely and deal with the unneeded stuff we'll get?  And if we do put no gifts on the invitation, how should I word it?

Here are some suggestions I thought of:

 

"S has been blessed with plenty and celebrating with us is gift enough.  No gifts please."

 

"S has been blessed with plenty.  In lieu of gifts we ask that you make a donation of your choice to the charity of your choice."

 

"S has been blessed with plenty.  In lieu of gifts we ask that you bring a 15 oz can of a tomato product (i.e. diced tomatoes, tomato sauce, etc.) so that we may donate it to the food pantry." 

Art Teacher

My feeling is that if someone wants to give your child a gift, you can't dictate what they give him (unless they specifically ask.)  I do think it's kind of tacky.  I don't think it's awful - you honestly don't need anything and you would prefer people make donations and that's nice, but I still don't think it's appropriate.

Why not donate toys that he receives or donate some of his older toys to a charity?  You're still making a donation.

 

mrsdeanna

S has been blessed with plenty. In lieu of gifts we ask that you make a donation of your choice to the charity of your choice."

 

This. We plan on putting something like this on DS invites.  My nephew has stage 4 cancer and my sister has incured a lot of medical bills.  DS does not need any toys. Although, I'm sure he will still get some. 

shanad

I'm not sure what I would do or write, so I'm not help there.  DS1 gets lots of gifts from hand-me-down toys for his 5 cousins.  He has a full toy room.  The same goes for clothes.  So for the Holidays, I suggested to family and friends that we would like to start a book and video library (they don't take up too much room).  Everyone got him either new board books, or disney dvd's like Cars, Cars 2, Toy Story.  He loves them.  Others didn't follow the rules and unfortunately, we have a shelf in the garage of un-opened toys that we have no room for.  My sister didn't like to be told what to get, so she got him a Bond for later in life.

DS1 2nd birthday is in April, so I'll be interested in seeing some responses to this post. 

hmp1

We flew home to TX for DS's birthday. Everyone knew we were flying and I put "We desire your presence instead of presents" on the invite.  Everyone still brought a gift and we had to pay to ship them back.  I think if I had done something like bringing food for charity, that would have worked better. Like pp said, people don't like showing up to birthday parties empty handed.

MamaNikita

i'm not a fan of the donating to a charity thing.  great concept and sentiment, but people who are coming are coming to celebrate your LO, not to just randomly do some good deed.   a simple no gifts please will do, and if you still get gifts that you really don't want, you can donate them on your own to toys for tots or some other such organization.  

historychick79

I agree with PP, most people want to bring a gift to a child's birthday party. You could always request simply 'no gifts please.' Then when people bring items, you can set them aside to donate to charities yourself.

NewFamily09

I've tried both things with birthday invitations for my boys and I can tell you that telling people not to bring gifts doesn't do a darn thing.  Almost no one listens to you and the few people who do probably feel embarrassed when they show up and they don't have a gift but other guests do.  So my advice is don't put anything.  Let people give your kid gifts, even if he doesn't need them.  If your house is overrun with toys, donate or sell some of the older ones.  If you want to help your church with the food pantry, then you and DH should donate.  You shouldn't ask your guests to do it. 

agytay

I put: Best wishes only. Your presence is your present.

Anyone reading it should able to get no gifts out of that. 

 

ETA: when people tell us no gifts, I honor their request. The amount of stuff some of the kids have now days is crazy.   

BelleIsa

Personally, I wouldn't be offended if someone said 'no gifts' or 'donation in lieu of gifts'.

 

spunkyprincessmande

I am definitely one of those people who loves buying gifts for others, but as a mom I not understand how much junk kids get.  And the truth is not everyone puts as much thought into buying gifts as I do (I'm not saying I'm the world's best gift giver but I don't just walk down the toy aisle at Target and pick up something like so many people do).  So, I personally would not be offended if I was told not to bring gifts.

However, I would really enjoy if I was asked to bring a gift that was going to be donated.  Then, I could still pick out a gift as if it was going to the birthday child, but the parents don't have to worry about all the unused toys in their house.

Or I send our family Micah's Amazon wish list.  It has items that I would really like to get for MIcah--more educational or art things.  It might seem tacky, but for grandparents and aunts/uncles who are asking me what to get him I think it's great to direct them to something that we'll actually use.  I'd never do that to our friends, though.