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Trying to Get Pregnant
I'm really sad
That I had to do work today and I missed the public flogging of that supahdouche, NQB.
What.an.ass.hole.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I'm really sad
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/1/63102657/ShowThread.aspx
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You aren't stuck on this board. You are free to leave and stop posting whenever you want to. Nobody is making you stay here.
TTC our first since November 2010
Dx: MFI May 2012
It is not for us to say who, in the deepest sense, is or is not close to the spirit of Christ. We do not see into men's hearts. We cannot judge...It would be wicked arrogance for us to say that any man is or is not a Christian. ~C.S. Lewis
Having a differing opinion is one thing.
Telling some one that "in a few weeks that they will be declared and infertile and won't have to post on the board anymore. Tootles!" is a completely douche move.
FYI,There are plenty of women posting on this board who stuggle with IF.
You basicly threw her stuggles in her face and said get lost.
You are truly absurd if you think you are stuck here.
I am just astonished at how insensitive some people are... I had to deal with this today from my insurance provider!
Ditto PP about speaking your mind is one thing, wishing IF on someone else is a totally different ball game. I wouldn't wish IF on my worst enemy, EVER!
Way to be ignorant and show your your true colors...
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That could maybe be true, if you didn't add the condescending Tootles! at the end....
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Um, I think either your high or you REALLY need to see a doctor.
Saying "Have a good night, Tootles!", and "You're an infertile so you can leave now, Tootles!", IMO, have very different meanings.
I was referring to the arbitrary deadline set by this board after which time it is allowed to express frustration or concern. Anyone who posts (like the OP of that post) that they are concerned is told that ridiculous b.s. about it taking UP to a year to get pregnant. And usually, you know, by other non-pregnant people. So how is that an encouraging mantra?
I'm sorry if I offended whatshername. That was not my intention.
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BFP #1 on 8/10/11 EDD 4/21/12~ m/c 8/16/11 at 4w6d
BFP #2 on 1/15/12 EDD 9/26/12~ m/c 1/22/12 at 4w4d
BFP #3 on 2/15/12 EDD 10/28/12 BFP Chart
~~Baby MDem Born 11/7/12~~
ANSI (the name of the woman you were offending so crudely), was trying to share with the OP what SHE felt was encouraging to HER. It wasn't a blanket statement, it was her experience.
If you're going to hate the phrase, that's fine. But don't make it an attack on the person who finds it comforting.
I had a midwife tell me the same thing...... pretty sure she knows her stuff. I mean it is possible that she has some sort of connection to the TTGP board and she is part of some huge conspiracy.
The phrase is "toe the party line," not "tote."
Also, you're just wrong and you should really try to understand all of the logic regarding insurance premiums, doctor availability, etc. that has already been explained to you.
This is what happened in that post and countless other posts on TTGP.
OP: I'm not pregnant and I'm getting frustrated and concerned.
Normal People: That sucks dude.
Fertility Police: It can take a year! OMG why would you use precious resources?
Me: That phrase irks me.
Fertility Police: We waited (almost) a year to get tested. You are a doucebag.
Me: It's her business if she wants to talk to a doctor.
Fertility Police: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: STFU
End scene. I'm just frankly sick of people who think they are superior because they've been trying slightly longer than other people. Every month sucks when you're still not pregnant.
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Not true. If you think something is medically wrong with you, insurance may pay for tests. I know this because long before I ever thought of TTCing I had to have tests done because of a problem I was having.
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Great reporting skills. Unfortunately, that is not how it happened. Go take a nap.
Again you have clearly stated your frustration with this fact. We get it. It's your opinion. As I have said, it's completely inappropriate to throw IF in someones face because you disagree with them. But clearly you think that this is fine. Which again is your opinion. It is my opinion that you are douche for doing it.
How do you know they think that? Are you a mind reader? I have never seen anyone here act like or state they are superior to those that have been trying for less time.
TTC our first since November 2010
Dx: MFI May 2012
It is not for us to say who, in the deepest sense, is or is not close to the spirit of Christ. We do not see into men's hearts. We cannot judge...It would be wicked arrogance for us to say that any man is or is not a Christian. ~C.S. Lewis
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Honestly, then you probably haven't been paying attention.
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I didn't say the board as a whole sucked. I said the fact that the same people say the same things over and over again sucked. And FFS you're pregnant. Goodbye.
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Good for you NQB! Everyone else seems to be allowed to speak their mind and you should too, unless that's just reserved for specific posters who have been here a specific amount of time. FWIW, I didnt read your post to ANSI as wishing infertility or throwing it in her face, but I can see why she would get upset. I did see everyone ganging up on you for having your own opinion.
Anyway, I'm sure everyone will flame me now too. I really have tried to not post negative things to people in the short time I've been here and I try to stay out of things that just annoy me, but I don't think it's fair how everyone just came down on you. Good luck to you.
And good luck to all everyone who is stuck on this board! (any by stuck I obviously mean not pregnant).
First Child born
5/5/14 and 6/5/14
11/14
Chemical Pregnancy
9/5/15
Second after severe bleeding for 18 weeks due to subchorionic hematoma
Expecting Number 3 due 10/31/2020
You didn't answer my questions and if you are so sure that people act that way here why don't you give me some examples.
TTC our first since November 2010
Dx: MFI May 2012
It is not for us to say who, in the deepest sense, is or is not close to the spirit of Christ. We do not see into men's hearts. We cannot judge...It would be wicked arrogance for us to say that any man is or is not a Christian. ~C.S. Lewis
I don't remember who poste but someone said NQB was not stuck on the board, obviously taking what she has said very literal.
So when I say we are stuck here I mean we don't get to move on to 1st tri or our bomb...that's all. And I'm just wishing everyone luck. Nothing else. Nothing bad.
I completely agree...tone is very very hard to read!
P.s. I did not mean bomb..meant BMB (autocorrect!)
I was going to keep myself out of this post, but I draw the line here. SUPERIOR???!!!! You think that people feel SUPERIOR because they've been trying longer?????
Try inferior. Imagine waking up every morning thinking about how your uterus and ovaries are broken. You think that people are acting superior because they've been trying for a long time? Huh...maybe they just truly know more because they've "been there, done that".
Yep, I've been trying for over 3 years. So yeah, I am sure I know a hell of a lot more about the process than those who have been trying less than a year. You know what I say at this point to people who are impatient? Fine. Welcome to this world. Because it sucks major donkey di*k. You want to put yourself here before you need to?
Be my guest.
It is a blast having needles stuck in your arm, catheters up your cervix, dye shot into places where dye was never meant to be, losing your sex life because your H is busy making love to a freaking cup, having your life hang in the balance of a single phone call, a single pregnancy test, a single follicle check....blah blah blah. Oh, and have fun never going out anymore. Never eating out (both in restaurants and in the bedroom cuz God forbid the saliva kill any sperm). Never buying new clothes. Because all your money is wrapped up in trying to have the one thing you want and might never have.
And don't tell me every month sucks. Yeah, the sixth month sucks. But the 44th cycle makes you want to freaking crawl in a hole and never come out. Looking back, the 6th month was NOTHIN'.
Started fertility treatments 11/2010
Ovarian dysfunction, LPD, male factor
6 failed medicated IUI's
Pregnant 5/2011 - Miscarriage at 6 weeks due to triploidy
Decided to adopt - 6/2012
SURPRISE! Pregnant without intervention - 7/2012
Sweet Baby James Born 3/2013
Decided to be "One and Done"
....OR NOT.
Pregnant 12/2018 despite birth control pills
Here we go again...
Due 8/26/19!
First of all, thank you for your honesty. This took courage to write. As someone who battled infertility (and got pregnant thanks to IVF/ICSI), I can relate and empathize and I hope you get pregnant, like, yesterday.
But I wanted to piggy back on this. When I read posts about women wanting to get tested early because they "need to know" or have "always felt like I might have a fertility problem" I wonder WHY? Why the hell would ANYONE want to start fertility testing HELL (and it absolutely is hell) before they absolutely have to.
If 90% of couples will ge pregnant within 12 months, but women are rushing to the RE at month 6 or 9, it is fair to call them impatient. Because they are. And honestly, they likely have zero clue the can of worms they are opening. Tests beget tests. The dildo-cam becomes your friend. Needles become the norm. Modesty flies out the window. Money drains from your bank account. And so on and so forth.
Anyway... The advice of "it can take a healthy couple up to a year to get pregnant" is GOOD. It saves countless women invasive and expensive tests. Forget about the "line" (though, that is a fair issue to discuss to) - but think about yourself! Have fun TTC as long as humanly possible because they second you walk into the IF world the tone shifts. And it isn't fun at all. It is downright sad and nerve wracking.
ETA: I would LOVE a third baby one day. But I have vowed that I will never undergo a fertility test or proceedure again. Ever. So there is a solid chance I will never get pregnant again, but honestly, I would rather be content with the two kids I have now and move forward than dive into the HELL that is infertility testing and treatment. It is that bad.
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
*~*~*~*~*
No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
I'm sorry but you said and what you say you "meant" aren't similar at all. Looking at what you said objectively, I don't think anyone could have construed that in any other way other than you were wishing IF on someone. It seems more likely that you realized what exactly you said and then tried to cover for it.
Out of all the reading I have done about conceiving and talking with my doc, everything and everyone says that in takes on average a healthy couple 6-12 months to conceive. On average. Some will take longer and some won't. Knowing the fertility issues that I have, my doc still suggested that I wait until at least the 6 month mark before talking to her some more. She isn't going to do any testing until the 12 month mark and that is with known issues. MH and I knew how long it could possibly take and therefore we were prepared.
No one is telling anyone when to go see a doc. They are simply trying to tell people not to rush to the doc before there is really a need to.
"A man walking backwards does not see what lies ahead, only what he is leaving behind."
BFP #1-7/22/12 EDD: 4/8/13 It's a Boy!! Born 3/30/13
BFP #2 2/3/14 EDD: 10/15/14 - My Chart
She really is that dense or does not know how to read. I tried about 5 times to explain what the words "up to a year" meant and she still doesn't get it. NQB, please just stop.
You did not apologize. You threw it right in my face and at this point I don't really want an apology from someone for whom I have not the slightest bit of respect.
Wow. That's the sh#ttiest apology I've ever received.
I honestly was shocked by what you wrote to me. It came out of nowhere and was uncalled for. The fact that I'm doing CD3 bloodwork, exam, HSG, and getting results from DH's SA and all of the above testing this week hit a nerve for me.
You being a complete and utter twit to me today was just the icing on the cake.