Would you go?

shiloh17

Would you go to a funeral of an ex's family member (parent)? The situation is that I dated ex all thru hs and part of college. His family keeps in touch via holiday/bday cards& fb. I haven't seen him or his family in about 10yrs. We didn't have a bad break up, but just went separate ways. I used to go on vacay with them, dinners, holidays at their home. We were close back then. Is it appropriate to go? Would it be weird?

J&A2008

I guess I'd take my DH's thoughts into consideration as well as travel time, cost, etc.

My ex's father died two years ago, and I know it was very hard for him.  I spoke with him on the phone (we did not have a good break up), which was the first time in years.  I knew DH would understand and appreciate that I cared to talk to him.  I didn't even consider attending the funeral, though.

penguingrrl

If it was possible to get there I'd absolutely go. I wouldn't fly halfway across the country or anything for it, but if it was within a few hours drive I'd make sure to get there.

speckledfrog

I wouldn't go unless it was an ex family member.  My mom went to my grandpa's funeral (my dad's dad) and that wasn't weird.  An ex BF from 10 years ago...maybe.

lsufan

I probably wouldn't travel far, but if it were within easy driving distance, of course I would go.  

shiloh17

Thanks. Its only 10min. away and there will prob be alot of the neighborhood crew that I grew up with. I just didn't know if it would seem awkward or random if I went. 

UGAbride

I would go if it was local.  I spent a lot of time with his family (we were together for 5 years), and we didn't have a bad breakup.  We all attended the same church as well. 

Ned&Nora

One other thing to consider, is your ex's new family (if there is one).  I'd take into consideration whether your being there would upset his wife, etc.  My MIL died unexpectedly 2 years ago.  She had an incredible service, but one thing that stuck with me is that it is only about the family and making them feel better.  A nice card can do the same thing as your actual presence at the funeral.  If you think there is even a slim chance that your attendance would cause anyone to feel uncomfortable, don't go.  Send a heartfel card instead.

sweetie645

I was actually in a very similar situation last fall.  My ex-bf's brother died.  I went to the wake and was glad I did.  Even though I hadn't seen ex in about 7 years, I know that I probably know him better than most of his friends and I was glad to go and show my support, both to him and his mom (my heart was just breaking for her).

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jlw2505

I think it would really depend on the person/situation.  If I lived in the same state and had been close to the person that passed away, then I would probablly go but if it was someone from the family that I knew but was never that close to, then I would send a donation/card.  I'm thinking of my HS boyfriend.  I was always really close with his mom and brothers but never his dad (they were divorced).  Over the years, his mom has asked about me and the ex and I have kept each other updated and such when we see each other (which is mainly at reunions) adn we email every year or so.  If his mom passed and I lived in town, I would go but if his dad passed, I wouldn't go.  My ex and his dad were never very close which is why I think I feel the way I do.

surprise3rd

There are some ex's I would and some I would not.  One I was and still am close/keep in touch with his two sisters, we did not have a bad break up, I would go to the viewing.  Another has become a client of mine and I actually deal with his wife on a regular basis, nothing wierd, I would go to the viewing.  Others I would not.  Use your judgement, but based on the things you have said I don't think it would be odd to go pay your respects if it didn't upset your DH.