Success after IF

Questions if you have a baby and a toddler/older child...

Hi ladies

I have a few questions. 

1.  Do you expect your older child to be quiet if the baby is sleeping or if you are trying to get the baby to sleep?  Currently DS sleeps pretty much all nght long in his bed, but for naps, he is pushed around in the stroller in the house or if we are out he is obviously also in the stroller/carseat. I am trying to get him to nap in his bed, but its hard and if he does nap in his bed its often only short naps--ugh)

2. We do so many activites/school with DS #1 that i feel like DS #2 has noc hoice but to nap in the stroller.  Anyone else feel like this is normal?  I dont want to stop his activites just to make sure DS#2 can nap in his bed.  what about you?

 

Severe MFI resulting in IVF/ICSI #1 in Nov 2007. BFP!!
Our beautiful son was born July 2008.
2010: 2 IVF's,1 FET = 2 BFN's, 1 c/p :(
Feb 2011-Unmedicated FET= BFP!! DS #2 born Oct 2011!!.



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Re: Questions if you have a baby and a toddler/older child...

  • I want DS1 to be quiet to some extent when I am trying to get DS2 down to sleep.  Often times I turn on DS1 while I put DS2 down to nap, and then Momma takes a shower!

    However, as he got older and became a pro at napping in his crib, we have learned that DS2 is a very light sleeper, so we try to avoid the upstairs all together when he is napping.

    I have to wake him up from his morning nap in order to pick DS1 up from preschool.  I feel really bad about it, but there isn't much I can do about that.  I was able to transition him to start that nap a little earlier, but he will sleep for 2 hrs if I let him, and there just isn't time for that.  I did add one day a week of aftercare/Spanish class to DS's  preschool so at least one of the 3 days DS2 can have a full morning nap.

    I'm torn, I want DS2 to get proper naps, I can never be sure if he'll nap in the car, but I also don't want DS1 to be stuck at home all the time.  I try to balance as much as I can. 

    Married 9-4-04

    ***PM me for my IF history***

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  • We struggle with #2 as DS #1 is starting to give up naps. DS #2, however, is a problem napper. If he is home in his crib, swaddled and in the zone he naps great. However, if we are out, he will sleep in the car until we reach a destination and immediately wake up and stay up unless immediately put down into his own crib. He will fall asleep very briefly in his stroller or car seat, but it lasts no longer than 15 or 20 minutes. So I also try to balance...if we have a few days we're on the go, I try to be home by the third day so he can get a nice long nap.

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  • 1.  My older was only 17 months at the time the 2nd was born so it was almost impossible to keep him quiet and I kinda didn't want to need to.  We used a lot of white noise - a machine in the baby's room, one on the toddler's room, a box fan running in the hall and a bathroom fan.  Seemed more logical to try to mask the sound of the other one than to try to keep them quiet.

    Now that the older one isn't napping I do expect him to play with quiet toys during the younger one's nap because he's old enough to understand the logic of the request and has plenty of things he likes to do that are quiet.

    We did plenty of car naps for the 2nd that we didn't need to do for the first.  The second just kinda gets to go with the flow when you have to be somewhere for the older one.

    2.  Totally normal.  (see above).

    Good news?  The 2nd was much more flexible when it came to sleep (and still is even as an older kid) because he had no choice.  Don't beat yourself up.  Preserve the bed nap when you can and roll with it when you can't.

     

    Our IF journey: 1 m/c, 1 IVF with only 3 eggs retrieved yielding Dylan and a lost twin, 1 shocker unmedicated BFP resulting in Jace, 3 more unmedicated pregnancies ending in more losses.
    Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
  • I don't expect them to be perfectly quiet, I just tell the older two to use whispers and to try and not play with the louder toys.  If the baby is upstairs in his crib napping then I just let them play but sometimes the baby will fall asleep during tummy time and that's more when I ask them to quiet down. 

    As for the second question, we really don't do that many other activities so the baby isn't out and about a whole lot.  When I was on maternity leave I would take the baby and he would nap in the car seat, stroller or while I was holding him.  Now that he's a little older I do want a more established nap routine and would try and balance napping at home with how often he's expected to nap out.  I know it's hard to plan activities around a baby's nap schedule so you just do what you can do.  I've found that my kids tend to adapt easily but only you know if that works for your baby.

    Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12

    Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck.  Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.

    This Cluttered Life

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