First day back at work - coping..

dhreczuck

Well first day back at work, 1 week post miscarriage.I slept awful last night and had the worst dreams. The only person who knew I was pregnant was my boss, I'm fairly close with other co- workers and I'm debating telling them why I was out. I know the question will be asked. One side of me feels like I should tell people because it's something that happened to me and why shouldn 't I be ok with sharing it but the other side is I know the conversation makes people uncomfortable so do I not say anything just to spare them the discomfort?

To top it all off my I have a toothache today, I needed to get a root canal but was waiting until my 2nd trimester to have it scheduled. Of course it starts acting up this weekend. I think this might actually be why I have a low fever. When it rains it pours. 

 

cooperbooper21

I understand the fact that it can be uncomfortable for other people but don't make it uncomfortable for YOURSELF. All you have to say is that you were sick. If you don't think you can handle talking about it (which I know I wouldn't be) to your coworkers than please don't put yourself through it. Stay strong!

KacyChicago

When it rains it pours, for sure ... And I am sorry you've been caught out in the storm right now! (Hopefully you can get your tooth fixed soon ... I'm sure that exacerbates how bad you feel this morning.)

I am so sorry for both of your losses. I am sorry you're having to go back to work for the first time. (Yes, it was the hardest day for me, so just know it does get easier.) As far as telling people about what happened, it is a tricky situation. I understand not wanting to make people uncomfortable, but I have found that they rarely are. I have told several people (friends and/or coworkers) about our loss, and a few people have actually thanked me for sharing it with them. I am very touched by that, as for 12 weeks, I was chomping at the bit to tell them about Penguin, and never got a chance to. You'll be surprised by the support you will receive.

All my best to you today ... 

beans19

Good Day

I myself am back at work today after a miscarriage. Seeing your post made me feel like i was not alone.Your close friends should know. It is a healing process.

I was 19 weeks in. I became a home hermit for a week and now i am out healing with the people who are close to me.

Know that everyday you are a little bit stronger, everyday the sun is going to shine upon you and the world will always go on. I wish the very best for you and be strong!

smcjmk09

I am right there with you.  Hope your day is going ok. I had Thurs and Friday off (d&e was Fri) and today I'm back at work.  Everything is supposed to go back to "normal" in everyone else's eyes but nothing feels the same.  Hang in there.

panacea05

Returning to work after a loss is no small feat; be proud of yourself today.

As far as telling your co-workers goes... as long as you're close with them, I would probably let them know. Don't worry about making them feel awkward. It's more important that you feel comfortable around them, and don't feel like you have to dodge their questions or make up stories. It's definitely your call, but I felt much better knowing that my close co-workers knew what happened to me.

Hope the rest of your day flies by. Don't forget to call the dentist. (hugs) 

dhreczuck

Thank you, all you ladies are so sweet, I wish we didn't have this board as the  common thread right now. I can say I haven't really accomplished much of anything. My boss basically said I didn't need to explain anything to him and if there was anything at all that I need to deal with to just do it. So anyway's looks like I'll be going for a follow up ultrasound and a trip to the dentist this week!

 

 

JessicaRobb

I found getting back into a routine helpful. Obviously some days still just suck and I'm sure a toothache doesn't help.

Hopefully you find getting back into your routine as a step back to normal. 

Jenn1298

I have been back at work for a week now and I agree with the others that the first day was by far the worst.  I cried at my desk 4 times that day, but on day 2 I got distracted by my work and did pretty well.

 My husband and I both work in the same office, so we were both off at the same time for 3 days.  We only told our managers and 2 other co-workers because we don't really want people checking up on us a couple of weeks or a month from now.  This was just our personal decision and it is working well for us so far.

Depending on your work situation though, I can see a lot of reasons why you would want others to know.  Just go with your gut and do what feels right for you.  Don't spend time worrying about whether or not to tell people, you have enough on your mind right now without that.

LWilson82

The board ate my first post but I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry for your loss.

I also went back to work for the first time this past weekend and I swear it was the best thing I ever did for my healing process. I dreaded it big time but it was so nice to get back to my normal routine. I work in a large ER/Trauma Center so it's great because it's big enough where not everyone knows everyone else's business so I didn't have to explain what happeneed to every single person just my close friends who already knew anyway.

But a few people asked where I had been and I ended up telling them what happened. It was great because so many people includng some of the doctors had stories of their own personal losses and it ended up being extremely theraputic to hear them especially since most all of them have happy healthy kids now.

I 100% agree with Jenn, just go with your gut and do what feels right. One day at a time has been my motto. I'm only 6 days out from my D&E but with every passing day I feel almost like my old self again. It's nice to get that back instead of crying every minute of every day.

greenwl

Yesterday was my first day back at work and I only made it through 5 hours before going home because of cramping and emotions (I m/c only 5 days ago).  Many of my co-workers (who I consider close friends) knew of my pregnancy, so yesterday was filled with hugs and condolences.  It was bittersweet yesterday, but overall I'm glad I had the opportunity to grieve with some of my friends.  I'm feeling a lot better today and haven't shed a tear.  This will be a roller coaster for us, everyday may bring something new.  Just remember, there is no right or wrong way to grieve.  I think it's best to listen to your gut and do what feels best to you.  You may find that talking to some co-workers is helpful, while speaking with others is more difficult.  Prayers to you and your family.

Meghan0106

Today was my second day back and it has been tough. I am a manager at target and it is hard to focus and feel that the daily routine is important it all seems so trivial. Sometimes I'm fine and I let myself forget for a moment and then other times it all comes back and the tears are unstoppable. Sometimes I just miss him. It would be worse I think to just stay at home alone though. I think if I just keep trying it will get better at least I hope so.