Miscarriage...but...
This is also posted on the August 2012 board. I post here sometimes being a high risk because I have been a type 1 diabetic since age 12 and had some minor complications along the way of this pregnancy.
Long story...
So yesterday (Sunday) had to be one of the most tramatic days of my life. I woke up late afternoon in my bed from a nap and felt that I was "wet" down there. Reached down with my hand to see what was going on and saw a bunch of clear fluid, reached down again and got blood. Pulled they sheet back and saw a puddle of blood on them. Ran to the bathroom and sat on the toliet and as soon as I did something rather unusal and terrifying came out. It was very clear to me that this was something bloody and in a sack like...a misscariage. I called my husband at work crying and screaming to come pick me up and take me to the hospital and explained what happened. He did. So while I was in the hospital I was bleeding very heavy and it was very obvious that I had a miscarriage. My mother and father met us there and we just sat and cried. The er doctor did some kind of exam down there to make sure I was not bleeding too much and to make sure my cervix had closed after passing the baby. Then it was off to get a ultrasound to make sure everything had cleared out and such.
This is when the unexpected miracle happened. I had my head turned the other direction when the ultrasound tech was starting her thing. Couldnt bare to see no baby in there after just seeing a very healthy one this past Wednesday. The first thing the ultrasound tech did was listen for a heartbeat. And there was one....a very loud and fast heartbeat. I looked at her and said "What the hell is that?!" She said to me "Honey thats your baby" NO WAY! No way...I knew I had a miscarriage...how could this be... She let me listen for a little bit longer then turned the screen and showed me a happy baby moving around and that little heartbeat just going. I lost it...again, except these were tears of shock and happiness.
Turns out...I was pregnant with twins. I miscarried the one who at some point had stopped developing early. Due to the smaller size of it and why I didnt have much cramping and it wasnt painful at the time when it happened. The ultrasound tech showed me the area where the twin had been. I am STILL pregnant with one very healthy and happy baby who was dancing around on the ultrasound to show me. I cant help but think this is a miracle. I will be on bed rest for a couple of days until my bleeding stops and I am in the clear with everything.
Re: Miscarriage...but...
I went through something similar to that in Jan 2010, when I was pregnant with DD1. I bled for a few days while on vacation at 6 weeks, then again at 8 weeks. At 8 weeks, I went to the ER and DH and I found out that we were expecting twins, but that Baby B was struggling (low heart rate (112), growth measured 1 week behind Baby A). A few days later, my OB did another u/s and we found out that Baby B had passed. When we initially went to the ER, we believed that I was in the process of a m/c. Of course when we left, we were beyond excited and extremely hopefully that Baby B would pull through (and to find out that I was still pregnant).
I was extremely confused as to how I was supposed to feel after we lost Baby B. We were absolutely devasted. But, when I was sad and grieving, I felt guilty because we still had one. Then, when I would feel happy about that, I would feel guilty for being happy when we just lost a baby.
I'm sorry for the loss of one of your babies. But, I'm also very happy for you in that you are still pregnant with one. There's no "right" way to feel about it, and don't feel guilty for feeling one way or the other (easier said than done). That's such a scary thing to go through. Sending lots of prayers your way!!
Cycle 9: BFP 5-3-12:EDD 1-24-13 It's a girl! Born 12-27-12