What will she look like?

butterflycross310

I am 34 weeks and pregnant with twins, Kaelyn and Natalie. About 2 weeks ago we found out that we lost Kaelyn. I am still carrying both girls and will be for another 2 weeks. We plan to see Kaelyn and hold her but we still want to know what to expect with her looks. We've asked our doctors but they are very vague in describing what she might look like. We want to see her but we want to be more prepared for what we are going to see. If anyone can let us know what to expect we'd appreciate it. Thanks.

steph&michael

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LoveOfMikesLife

I haven't dealt with a situation like this. And I'm sorry you have to. But I did have a stillborn daughter.

She was gone roughly 30 hours and she was very purple. Also her skin was starting to pull away from her body. When she was first born it was almost as if she was covered in blisters. As the time went on her skin got worse. Also after about 4 hours she started bleeding from her ears, noes and mouth... It was very hard to see but I wouldn't change it for anything.

I can only guess that 2 weeks will be more severe. I'm not trying to hurt you just trying to give you some idea.

I'm so sorry about your sweet baby girl. Please take care of yourself.

figgs0831

I have absolutely no experience with this. Just wanted to say how sorry I am for the loss of your twin. I can not even begin to imagine what you must be going through. ((huge hugs))

BeccaMarie

My son passed only a couple hours before he was born, so I can't offer any advice on your situation, but I did want to offer my condolences. I am so sorry for your loss.

butterflycross310

 To: LoveOfMikesLife - Thank you so much for your honesty. It is hard to read and I am sorry for your loss as well. I just needed to know so that I can be prepared and not shocked when I see her. Again, thank you.

ruthymusney

Just like most of the others, I don't have any experience. Kyndal passed 2 days before she was born, and she also had a tiny bit of peeling, she was of course a little purple her lips were bright red, but she was beautiful. Your baby will be too.  

 

To give you a little bit of hope, I know a lady that carried her daughter for 3 weeks after she passed, and she told me that she came out just like Kyndal did.

((hugs)) Im so sorry you're going through this. 

drvst8

I don't have any experince with that time frame. My son had passed only like a day before he was born still. He pretty much looked like what LoveofMilkes said. But he was absolutely prefect to me. I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss.

Petunia844

Like the other ladies, I don't any experience as my son passed and was born the next day, he looked like a sleeping angel to me and DH.  I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for your loss.

frogs007

First I want to say how sorry I am that you lost one of your twins.  I lost one of my twins 5 weeks before I lost the other (they were both born in November) after we lost Porter I asked the doctors what to expect.  I didn't plan on "seeing" him anyway (long story but he had TRAP sequence so his little body wasn't fully formed) but I wanted to know if they'd be able to get foot prints, if I'd be able to hold him, bury him etc.  like you I felt that the doctors were really vague.  After the boys were born I understood why.  The doctors don't always know what to expect themselves.  Some babies decay more in utero than others (I'm sorry I don't know a nicer way to say that. . .) so they might not know for sure until your girls are born.  After five weeks they were still able to get footprints from Porter but since he was completely wrapped I'm not sure on his coloring etc.  Isaac had only been dead a few hours before he was born but his appearance did change quite rapidly after he was born (nothing major that day, just some darkening of his skin) I wish I could give you an exact answer. I guess the biggest thing is just to be prepared.  Realize that the doctors might suggest you don't see her, if you want to see her no matter what tell them that.  Honestly I wish more than anything that I had seen Porter, even just his feet.  I'm so sorry you're going through this.  I'll be thinking about your family and praying.

pb127

I think the reason for passing affects what the baby looks like as well. My DS was born sleeping at 38w5d and had passed at 38w3d or slightly earlier, and he just looked he was asleep. A friend's DS passed from a cord accident and was delivered sooner than my DS (after passing) but had more injuries.

I am so sorry for the loss of your Kaelyn. I wish you all lots of peace and send (((hugs)))

laurncui812.0

****Warning an honest answer and possibly graphic description.***

 

We lost one twin 9 days before delivery. I will be honest he did not look great. His bones were very fragile so delivery broke many and it was a c-section. He had the doctors thumb print on his face where his skin was slipping off his body. He never took a breath so he remained a purple/red like color. Basically a 9 day decomposed little baby.  But to you Kaelyn will be beautiful and to me my Caleb was perfect. We held him for hours, photographed him. I had NILMDTS get permission from the hospital to be in the operating room and photograph my two boys together before my survivor went to the NICU located across the street. I knew they would never be together again and I wanted to have a picture of them together for my survivor to have when he is old enough. The whole family held him and kissed his little head. Even a day later I had the nurses at the hospital bring him up to me so I could see him again when I was alone. Hold her for as long as you can. It is a difficult road ahead. People wil not acknowledge that you lost her. They will forget or focus on your survivor. It will be hard to morn her loss and be a new mom. It is very hard and I will be praying for you. Feel free to contact me anytime.

weddedwife

I'm sorry, I don't have any experience with that time frame. My son died only about a minute before birth but he was already very, very purple. I was scared to see him, so I first asked if I could just see his feet. His feet were a totally normal color. Once I saw his feet I decided to see the rest of him.

Maybe you could just peek at her feet and use that to decide whether or not you want to see the rest of her? Just a thought.

ally2011

I don't have experience with that but I just wanted to say that I am so, so sorry for your loss.

Hugs,
Jenn