Blended Families
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SD's text today.
SD: "What do you do when you feel like the one you're with is in love with someone else. He's not but he sure doesn't care how I feel,"
I responded: LEAVE
Then I got to thinking. I really do feel sorry for her. She'd rather stay in a crappy relationship than be alone. And I get the sense that she thinks somehow, magically, he will change. How insecure in yourself do you have to be to stay in a relationship like that? It just makes me sad.
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Re: SD's text today.
How old is she again? It took me until about the age of 23 and after being treated like crap in a relationship for awhile to realize I was worth so much more than that. I guess some people are just not born with that self confidence, or it isnt instilled like it should be.
I hope she changes her ways and realizes she is worth more.
I was 28 before I left my cr*ppy boyfriend. And I was not DESPERATE to have a man, any man. I was co-dependant and thought I needed to stay with him to help him until he was back on his feet, etc. (blah blah blah). I wouldn't assume she is insecure (although you know her and that may well be the reason. I just hate when people say women stay with jerks b/c "they are afraid to be alone," b/c that is not the only reason).
And if she has a baby/is pg, of course she would consider putting her needs behind the baby's.
Sue - she really is scared to be alone. She's admitted that. She is never single for long and she is desperate for a man to care of her so that she doesn't have to. That's been the repetitive history so far. And she is incredibly insecure. She talks tough and acts tough, but she obviously really craves re-assurance and validation. She keeps seeking it from him even tho she says she is ready to leave.
It's exhausting talking to her. I finally had to tell her (several times) that I don't want to know what he says or what you two talk about or how mean he is to you. You want to talk about leaving, how to go about it and what to do to start over - fine. I'll talk to you and advise, but I can't listen to any drama about him. She has a real hard time remembering that and the conversation inevitably drifts back to that.
I don't know what will happen. I'm pretty much with one toe out the door myself so I'm not really getting too terribly worked up over it. In two weeks she may decide to stay again.
I didn't Realize that til college. Help. Her.