Shower Advice?

nolongerdinks

A dear friend and her DH are in the midst of potential adoption of an older infant.  They are hoping to have their baby home with them by April, so I am planning to have a shower for them.  Also, they are hoping to adopt the baby's sibling, to be born this summer.  They may not know anything about baby #2 before baby #1 arrives to live with them.

Those of you who have been through adoption, or are in the stages, do you have recommendations for a shower?  I told her I think there should be a second one later for baby #2 (if all goes well) b/c the needs of an older baby (like things on their registry) would be SO different from things for a newborn.  I've done a shower for an expecting mother before.  Part of me feels that this shower would be no different, but I'm not sure if I'm missing anything that I may not be thinking about, since I'm not really up on eactly how adoption works. 

Any help and suggestions would be welcomed!  Thanks in advance!

Art Teacher

That's really nice that you're throwing a shower for your friend and her DH.  I don't know if everyone would agree with this or not, but could they just register for things for both babies?  I wouldn't have an issue if someone did this for a shower I was invited to...

I would just think that might be easier than trying to do 2 showers. 

To answer your question about if the shower would be any different...The shower would be the same as any other shower.  I would make sure of WHEN they are comfortable with having a shower.  Many people choose to do one before the baby comes, but we decided to have ours after the TPR - termination of parental rights - was signed.  We were most comfortable with that.

 

wille2b

Art Teacher:

That's really nice that you're throwing a shower for your friend and her DH.  I don't know if everyone would agree with this or not, but could they just register for things for both babies?  I wouldn't have an issue if someone did this for a shower I was invited to...

I would just think that might be easier than trying to do 2 showers. 

To answer your question about if the shower would be any different...The shower would be the same as any other shower.  I would make sure of WHEN they are comfortable with having a shower.  Many people choose to do one before the baby comes, but we decided to have ours after the TPR - termination of parental rights - was signed.  We were most comfortable with that.

 

i think this is a good idea, register for both babies and have a shower shortly after they arrive

Dr.Loretta

Ditto the pps.

We adopted DD in March, and MIL threw us a shower mid-April. DD was 6-ish weeks old and everyone got to see her. I'm thinking it might be nice for you to throw one shower mid-summer when both kids are with them. Have them register for both kids, and celebrate their abundant joy!

It's just like any other shower. You're showing the mom/parents with gifts for their LO. They just arrived a slightly different way.

inlovewithB

The only differences between my shower and others: We didn't play any silly games and there was alcohol.

I chose to have my shower AFTER we brought DD home. I didn't want her passed around so she stayed home with DH. 

Art Teacher

inlovewithB:

The only differences between my shower and others: We didn't play any silly games and there was alcohol.

I chose to have my shower AFTER we brought DD home. I didn't want her passed around so she stayed home with DH. 

The only game my family did was when we were opening gifts, if the timer went off and it was your gift, you won a prize...Something like that. 

DD went with us and it was great!  She was 2 months old at that point and she let everyone hold her....she was really happy and content. 

meganroselee

Art Teacher:

That's really nice that you're throwing a shower for your friend and her DH.  I don't know if everyone would agree with this or not, but could they just register for things for both babies?  I wouldn't have an issue if someone did this for a shower I was invited to...

I would just think that might be easier than trying to do 2 showers. 

To answer your question about if the shower would be any different...The shower would be the same as any other shower.  I would make sure of WHEN they are comfortable with having a shower.  Many people choose to do one before the baby comes, but we decided to have ours after the TPR - terminatioos vrtyn of parental rights - was signed.  We were most comfortable with that.

 

This exactly. I struggled with feelings of sadness for the bm following adoption and it would've been nice for a friend to jump in and do a shower. (i had friends offer but I stupidly declined. Registering both makes sense as traditionally, ppl have a shower for the firstborn only. Also asking about tpr is also a good idea.