Signs
CaptainSerious
member
I?ve mentioned here before that my husband and I believe we were given very clears signs about our adoption path. Here?s our story; since it's long and not everyone will want to read the whole thing, I've bolded the start of the paragraphs which are most relevant:
There is no doubt in either of our minds that God chose us to be a family, and led us to find one another. A long string of improbable events, that began decades before I met my husband, set us on the path to finding, recognizing, and loving M as our son. Remarkably, He planted the seeds and desire to adopt separately in each of our hearts at an early age. Years later, I learned about Medjugorje, and how people who went there often claimed to be touched by miracles of faith. I was intrigued, and thought that it would be interesting to travel there.
When we decided to marry, we agreed to one day adopt a child as a way of sharing our blessings. But before we were ready for children, we travelled much of the world. One of our trips took us to Medjugorje, a place we never planned to visit, but was too close for us not to satisfy our curiosity. We both left feeling that there truly is something special about the place, but not being able to pinpoint what it was.
Years later, while we were bogged down in the quagmire of an extremely long and arduous adoption process, we were reviewing a list of children awaiting families when we drove past an unremarkable billboard on the way home from Vermont that announced ?The Time Is Now.? There really was nothing notable about the sign, but it stood out to my husband because it listed a phone number with his home-state?s area code. We agreed to check it out the next time we drove past, and returned to the heartbreaking process of selecting children from the list, whose files we?d request from the agency. We would select our child on the bases of what was contained in those files, and knew that every child we did not select remained a child without a family, home, love, and opportunities.
That night, we decided to request M?s file, even though he was older than we thought we should adopt and was listed as having a congenital heart defect requiring surgery. We knew that the most common congenital heart defects could be corrected by surgery, and we were hopeful that the child could have a good prognosis if his heart was repaired. Nonetheless, it was scary, because, for the first time, we were agreeing to seriously consider a child that was outside the parameters we originally agreed we could effectively parent.
We requested M?s file, and began to wade through the many Spanish pages. We set up a medical evaluation of the file, and we started gathering information about M?s life. With everything we learned, we felt more and more compelled to ask permission to make him our son. The next time we drove by the billboard, we noted the website it listed. We were completely befuddled when the cryptic web address directed us to an entire site about Medjugorje. Whatever the connection, my husband was convinced right there and then that God chose M as our son.
You could say all this was just coincidence, or even entirely unrelated. You could say that the only reason we saw a connection is because we were looking so intently for a sign (Funny how it came in the form of a billboard, though, isn?t it?). In fact, despite the weird butterflies in my stomach, I probably wouldn?t even argue with you, if it wasn?t for everything that happened while we were in Peru.
We knew that M had suffered a failed adoption right after his heart condition was found, and that the reasons the family gave seemed suspect. As a result, he was no longer living in his hometown, but in Lima, where that first adoption would have been finalized. We wanted to learn as much about him as possible, and decided to travel to his hometown and speak with his previous caregivers there. We made the trip on June 24th, a date we always celebrate as Half Christmas Eve, and were blessed to spend a couple of hours talking with the social worker, the orphanage director, and his wife.
The social worker told us that she was so happy to see us, because after M?s failed previous adoption, she was so worried that it would be difficult for him to find a home. She was clearly choked up and overcome with emotion, and it was clear how much she cared for him. As our conversation progressed, she told us that she had a wonderful feeling about us and that she was certain that we were the right parents for M. It was clear she felt bad for the failed adoption, and wished she could have erased that pain from ever happening to him. It was at that moment it was clear that this woman was an angel from God, who had been looking after our son all these years, and who was personally stung by the hurt he endured.
The director, and his wife, who seemed to act as his right-hand, were so forthcoming, it really made us see that they just wanted the best for M, including his integration into a family. What really caught us off-guard was when he begun to tell us detailed stories about M. He got all animated, and you could see how much he adored M. When the language barrier came up, the director said, ?It would be better if you spoke some Spanish. But you don?t. But you do speak another language, and that language is more powerful than any other, and M understands it. You will speak to him through the language of love. It is clear you know that language.?
Before we left, we received the best Half Christmas gift ever. They had some school papers that M had done, and let us have them. Among them was a Christmas card, made out to his parents.
When we were done, we visited a nearby church where they told us M was baptized. We sat inside and prayed. It was then that everything suddenly became crystal clear to me. When we started this adoption, we did so because we each felt compelled to. When we found M, we were drawn to him, even though he was not the relatively healthy toddler we were expecting. But that day in his hometown, it became clear, in a way that we could never explain to anyone who hasn?t experienced it, that God orchestrated all the parts and moved all the pieces, and delayed all the paperwork, and prepared our hearts, because he choose us and M to be a family. God had known all along that our child was M, and took us each on our own individual path to prepare us for his revelation.
There is no doubt in either of our hearts or minds that our adoption of M was divinely inspired and God?s miracle in our lives.
But that wasn?t where our miracle ended. While we were in Peru, we saw all the children in M? orphanage, and the many more living on the streets. We couldn?t wrap our heads around why any of these children wouldn?t be immediately adopted. What seemed so scary on paper melted away in reality, and we were completely surrounded by wonderful, curious children with so much love to share.
We were drawn to so many of them, and our hearts ached knowing that we could only really take one of them home. We got to know beautiful, strong, sweet girls, shy and timid children, toddlers so full of curiosity, boys just waiting for a chance to shine. They shared so much love, and it was such a bittersweet time, knowing that we would have to leave them behind.
So, once we were all home from Peru and adjusting to our new life within a family of three, we just couldn?t rest. We were blissful, growing together, and loving one another. M brightened each day. It was amazing to watch him experience things for the first time and the music of his sweet giggle lightened our souls. We were truly happy with our new family?and yet, we felt like there was something missing. Someone missing, to be more precise.
This isn?t to say that just my husband and I wanted another child. It?s that we all longed for another. M had always been one of many, and he longed for the companionship of his ?siblings? at the orphanage. My husband and I just remembered the faces and chatter and promise of the children they left behind, and knew we had to adopt again.
The children of M? orphanage have never left us, and we were particularly mindful of them throughout the Christmas holidays. We sent them and their caregivers gifts, but really longed to do much, much more. They were always on our minds. And while they were all constants, there was one little boy in particular that had an exceptionally strong hold.
J was three years old when we met him, and he was one of the cutest, most curious little guys we?d ever met. He charmed us, and we both agreed that, had we not been led to M, he was just the type of child we initially thought we would adopt. While we were still in Peru, we found him on the list of children, and were reminded that his medical diagnosis made us shy away from requesting his file. In person, it was hard to believe that the adorable, little boy could possibly have any condition that would prevent him from being an excellent addition to any family.
We talked about him often after our return and about how he seemed perfect in real life, but sadly, many families would be deterred by his diagnosis, as we were. We talked about how we could love him. We talked about how he could fit into our family. We talked and talked and talked.
And so, in early January, after the best Christmas season of our lives, we decided to begin all over again. We basically went through all the steps backwards, by finding the child we hoped to adopt before even applying to the agency. We were saddened to learn that we?d have to meet all of the requirements and go through all of the steps again, but heartened to discover that they would go much quicker the second time around. We?ve been able to anticipate and prepare for each next step, and we sent our paperwork to Peru in just over six months, on the first anniversary of M? adoption.
And then we waited. We had always been told that Peru prioritized petitions to adopt waiting children, and we expected an answer within a month or two. But month after month went by, and nothing happened. The orphanage director expressed her support our petition, but she wouldn?t be allowed to make the decision. So we continued to wait and the anxiety grew. And then, they told us they needed even more information before they could approve us to adopt. We were stunned, since we had provided everything they asked for and they knew M was thriving in our family. As we thought of all the children who needed homes, and all the children on the street who could fill their spots in the orphanages, anger and despair crept in.
We had been hoping to hear in time so that we could travel to Peru in November, a month when M had a lot of time off school But the months came and went, and we were very discouraged. By the end of November, it became apparent that J wouldn?t be home with us for Christmas.
Then, on November 22nd, I was driving to work and passed one of those electronic billboards which flip through multiple ads. It was yellow, and caught my eye. I looked up to see a picture of Mary, with the words, ?This is me.? The website listed, was the same as we saw the night we agreed to request M?s file! I was immediately hopeful, but had to concentrate on the two highways now merging. Suddenly in front of me was a white pick-up truck with an orange canopy, bearing the word ?SIGNS? in huge, white block-letters, where I couldn?t miss them. In fact, the entire truck was covered in the word ?SIGNS.?
Weeks passed, a matching session was held, and we were still not approved. The Peruvian authorities announced that any matches made in December would not be revealed until January. And so, we were certain that we would not know if J would join our family until the new year. We did our best to put it out of our minds and enjoy the holidays.
Even though I was still kind of looking for the sign each morning, I didn?t see it again until December 9th. This time, the sign said, ?This is my time,? followed by the web address. There was no ?SIGNS? truck, and I?ve not seen the billboard again.
Five days later, we received notice that we had been approved to adopt. The approval notice was dated December 9th! The same day that I last saw the sign.
On December 28th, we received the call from our agency telling us that J would be our son. It didn?t matter that the Peruvian authorities had said the results wouldn?t be made public, they still let our agency representative know that we were matched. And so, I can?t help but believe that I really did receive a message of timing through the ?This is my time? Medjugorje billboard.
Now, we?re preparing to go to Peru to make J a part of our family, and I can?t help but wonder what amazing parts of our miracle he?ll reveal to us while we are in my sons? homeland.
Re: Signs
It's always comforting to me to know that God really does have a plan for each of us. Your story is beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. DH and I are doing domestic adoption for bambino #1, but international adoption has always been in my heart. I'm hoping to pursue international for #2!
Your boys are so lucky to have you, and so lucky to be able to be together, SOON!!!! I hope the time flies by until you have J home with you!
PAL/PGAL Welcome