Anyone else scared they won't LIKE being a mom?

liberty95

This nagging thought pops into my head at least once a week - what if I actually don't LIKE this new role? and then panic sets in...

Let me just say that we planned this pregnancy and I have always wanted children, but now that I am on the verge of actually becoming a mom and I can't help but think, holy cr*p, I hope I like this because I certainly can't turn around now.

I think its just cold feet.  DH had to practically fight back laughter when I told him how I was feeling because he thinks I am just made to be a mom so it might just be all in my head.

Am I crazy??? Please tell me someone else on this board has questioned themselves at some point since becoming pregnant so I don't feel like a horrible mother to be.

pinkshades05

I've had some thoughts here and there like, "OMG, our due date is already here...am I even ready for this??" I think it's normal Who can expect us to be calm when there are huge life changes just around the corner?

kms34

I did before I had DS.  I never liked kids.  I never had that "omg, I need kids" feeling after we got married.  DH was actually ready for a family waaaay before I was. 

Now?  I can't imagine going through my life without my kid(s).  Being a mom is really the most amazing thing ever. 

I still don't always like most people's kids but I love the shyt out of mine and I think I'm a damn good parent!

cheese.fiend

I think its totally normal!  

Mine is more like "uggggg, I hope I don't hate being a SAHM"... I NEVER thought I'd quit my job after having a baby but with my terrible commute and some other considerations, continuing at my current job just doesn't make any sense after LO is born. I know I can always find something else if I hate staying at home (and I'm pretty much banking on at least looking after 4-6 mo or so), but I feel ungrateful for even thinking that I won't be satisfied staying at home. 

tmjmeister

I will be the first to admit that I am not a fan of kids. That being said, I have always wanted to be a mother. When I pregnant with DD everyone was shocked b/c most people knew that I don't really "like" kids. 

While it is hard and stressful, it is also great. I still don't "like" kids but I am head over heels in love with my children. While sometimes I wonder what I got myself into, my life would be so unfulfilled without them.

I was scared I wouldn't like her or being a parent but it will definitely (for most women anyway) when they get here.  

tmjmeister

kms34:

I did before I had DS.  I never liked kids.  I never had that "omg, I need kids" feeling after we got married.  DH was actually ready for a family waaaay before I was. 

Now?  I can't imagine going through my life without my kid(s).  Being a mom is really the most amazing thing ever. 

I still don't always like most people's kids but I love the shyt out of mine and I think I'm a damn good parent!

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!

I feel like we think the same thoughts... lol! 

Ya Never Know

I can honestly say that I do have that feeling sometimes. I think it's normal to question my abilities as a parent though. I think if I wasn't scared of what's about to happen at all, then there would be something wrong with me, imo.

mkarns

Yes definitely. I get overwhelmed wondering if i'm cut out for this. Or knowing that my life will NEVER be the same. No more lazy Sundays...no more Happy Hours for the hell of it. Everything takes planning and preparation now. It scares me to death.

sparks2987

Yes, I have wanted to be a mom since as long as I can remember. I love kids. But when it comes to the thought of having one around 24/7, I kinda think what if I dont love it anymore, I cant back out now.

I know it will be a transition but I already cant imagion my life without her in it and she isnt even born yet.

I think it is just FTM feelings and not knowing what will happen, big life change approaching fast like a ticking bomb.

Wiscisbliss

I don't have that feeling, but I worry that I won't be a good mom. 

2chatter

I have two girls and am on my third child....

I have always been open, vocal, what have you about not particularly liking babies.  It is what it is.  Not a huge fan of OPKs either (Other People's Kids).  But I  love mine and wouldn't trade it for the world.

My current nagging fear is....can I really manage THREE KIDS (7,4, baby) while working as much as I do, with DH travelling for work M-TH? 

hillbillysunshine

kms34:

I did before I had DS.  I never liked kids.  I never had that "omg, I need kids" feeling after we got married.  DH was actually ready for a family waaaay before I was. 

Now?  I can't imagine going through my life without my kid(s).  Being a mom is really the most amazing thing ever. 

I still don't always like most people's kids but I love the shyt out of mine and I think I'm a damn good parent!

This.  And I HOPE I'm a good parent...I know I'm doing my best!  And I really am LOVING it!

boydstm

I started crying the other day because I realized no one is ever going to notice me or ask how I am doing again. Everything will be 100% about DD. I know it sounds selfish and terrible but I have always been pushed to the backburner/forgotten, and it is going to be even more dramatic since DD's bday will be so close to mine (within 2 weeks)  and she is gonna be way cuter than me lol. I am sure once she gets here I won't care but for the next few weeks, I'm going to struggle with my impending lack of importance.

CTJune06

I remember having the same thought just before DD was born. Let me tell you, the love for her just came pouring out of me from the moment she came out. The last three years have been the sweetest, best (and sometimes challenging) years of my life. She makes everything just so worth it.

Jillibean85

Like PP's have said, i wasn't ever a baby or kid person before... But i knew i wanted to have kids eventually.

Once we had her, i didn't get that "maternal love" thing right away, either, and i thought i was weird for that until someone else said they didn't feel it at first either.. Some people do.

I didn't actually start LIKING being a Mom until LO started doing things, like rolling over, sitting up on her own and just being more active in general... I got to know her better and now i literally can't remember what it was like before she was here! She is my entire world...

I remember someone saying once that they are better at being a toddler's Mom than a newborn's Mom, and i have to say that is me as well... You aren't crazy!

liberty95

CTJune06:

I remember having the same thought just before DD was born. Let me tell you, the love for her just came pouring out of me from the moment she came out. The last three years have been the sweetest, best (and sometimes challenging) years of my life. She makes everything just so worth it.

 This is the exact sentiment I am holding on to.  Right now everything just seems so vague and intangible, but everyone says that changes when you see your baby.

Glad I am not alone in questioning my abilities, thanks everyone.

missy168

i keep thinking i can't wait for this baby to be out of my belly but then wonder, what if once the baby is out...i'll want to be pregnant again bc its just me and hubby with peace and quiet (we r first time parents).  then the other day i was snooping on the 0-3 mos board and someone asked the question..."do you sometimes wish you were still pregnant?"...every one said no way jose.  it made me feel so good to read all of their comments.

kmv6107

Jillibean85:

Like PP's have said, i wasn't ever a baby or kid person before... But i knew i wanted to have kids eventually.

Once we had her, i didn't get that "maternal love" thing right away, either, and i thought i was weird for that until someone else said they didn't feel it at first either.. Some people do.

I didn't actually start LIKING being a Mom until LO started doing things, like rolling over, sitting up on her own and just being more active in general... I got to know her better and now i literally can't remember what it was like before she was here! She is my entire world...

THIS EXACTLY I think it is good to go into this with a clear picture, so I won't blow the "don't worry you will love this baby so much everything will be rainbow and butterflies" smoke up your a$$ the truth is yes you will love this baby HOWEVER you might have moments/days when you think to yourself "what did I do" that doesn't mean you are a bad mother but it is a hard transition, don't kid yourself into thinking it isn't.  You're life, as you know it, is over to a certain extent and some have a harder time adjusting to the lack of full freedom, DH & I did.  but with all of that honesty I will also say that it does become your new life and you quickly forget what the heck you ever did without LO.  My life would be so empty without DS in it, I would walk on fire for that kid but sometimes I do wish I could have just one day of that full freedom again.

I remember someone saying once that they are better at being a toddler's Mom than a newborn's Mom, and i have to say that is me as well... You aren't crazy!

kmv6107

kmv6107:

Jillibean85:

Like PP's have said, i wasn't ever a baby or kid person before... But i knew i wanted to have kids eventually.

Once we had her, i didn't get that "maternal love" thing right away, either, and i thought i was weird for that until someone else said they didn't feel it at first either.. Some people do.

I didn't actually start LIKING being a Mom until LO started doing things, like rolling over, sitting up on her own and just being more active in general... I got to know her better and now i literally can't remember what it was like before she was here! She is my entire world...

THIS EXACTLY I think it is good to go into this with a clear picture, so I won't blow the "don't worry you will love this baby so much everything will be rainbow and butterflies" smoke up your a$$ the truth is yes you will love this baby HOWEVER you might have moments/days when you think to yourself "what did I do" that doesn't mean you are a bad mother but it is a hard transition, don't kid yourself into thinking it isn't.  You're life, as you know it, is over to a certain extent and some have a harder time adjusting to the lack of full freedom, DH & I did.  but with all of that honesty I will also say that it does become your new life and you quickly forget what the heck you ever did without LO.  My life would be so empty without DS in it, I would walk on fire for that kid but sometimes I do wish I could have just one day of that full freedom again.

I remember someone saying once that they are better at being a toddler's Mom than a newborn's Mom, and i have to say that is me as well... You aren't crazy!

ummm duhhh I messed up that quoting huh lol well my response is in bold

lawmom2be

This is totally normal. I am a mom and love my son more than life itself...but I am totally dreading the baby stage again. It is hard and I didn't particularly like it. Once my son hit about 7 months, he was a dream...so much FUN and the fun hasn't stopped..every stage is better than the last! LOL. You'll love your child no matter what though and will do anything to nurture and protect him/her. There just may be some stages that aren't your favorite ;-) and that's ok!

Vans18

You're not alone!!! I also ask myself that question and I think its totally normal. I mean, cmon! its a HUUUGE change in our lives and i know it'll be great and once we see that little bundle of joy, all of those thoughts will go away.

Jeter1028

Nope - you're not alone.  I feel like this almost every day

DarlinClementine

I think what you are feeling is completely 100% normal...

I have wanted to have children since I can remember  ~ for chrissakes, I played with dolls until I was in the 7th grade... yep ~ cabbage patch kids at age 12! 

I became an elementary school teacher, and now work at a LOVELY preschool ~ surrounded by kids every day.  Every person I know tells me I was "made" to be a mom... 

So... here I am 39.... yikes.... and having my first ~ and I am scared about how my life is about to change!  I mean... it's been MY life and only MY life for 39 years.... Yesterday, while nesting, Bob Marley "No Woman No Cry" came on the shuffle and I just lost it.  Seriously bawling at the thought of my "carefree~lifestyle" being over.  

I think you're JUST fine ~ it's ok to "mourn" the life we are leaving behind to become mothers... Doesn't mean I wont be a good one! 

 

lissag24

I didn't want kids EVER and I truly mean that. After I met my DH we decided to have kids and I am happy with the decision but I am afraid sometimes that I might have screwed up.  What if I don't like it....  I'm sure we will all make great moms weather it was planned or not. But it is scary