I hate my DH today

cajuncutie0169

He leaves for work between 5:30 and 6 every morning while I'm sleeping. He always calls me around 10 to see how I'm feeling and how I slept and all that good stuff. He asked me how I'm feeling and I said "I feel like I've been ripped into tiny pieces, eaten and then puked back up. I ache, I'm getting a cold and I've thrown up three times so far this morning. I'm sitting here wondering when death will finally come to take me away. That's how I'm feeling." He said "Well do you think you can get a big pot of spaghetti going for supper? A couple of the guys from work are coming over tonight and I told them you make awesome spaghetti. Oh and can you get some garlic bread and beer from the store?" What? Are you serious? So I said "Oh yessa massa I'll get right on that. Can I do anything else for you?" Then I hung up.

mrskeller825

Nice!  I love your comeback.

zivvy

Well, whatever you do, don't forget to make dessert ;p

Mogwai

AWESOME response.  Did he realize he totally didn't listen to your misery?

MrsL.inMarch

Uh oh, a "I don't really care how you are feeling" how are you feeling question. Kick him in the balls with garlic bread.

And really? Inviting the crew over for din without checking with you, the chef, first? Ruh roh. I'd say you have the right to withhold sex, but we all know that wouldn't change the current state of affairs.

GirlGenius

Wow - it's amazing how you THINK you're talking aloud but you apparently sound just like the parents in a Charlie Brown Brown special: "Whawha, whawhawha."

Get cooking! You obviously have NOTHING else going on, so why not cater to his and his manfriends' every whim? Sounds like an awesome day to me. 

Oh - and don't forget to vacuum, clean the bathroom and pick up the bedroom, cause you got company coming.

Kneecap him when he walks in the door. 

Shellyburger

Love the Charlie Brown wahwah reference.

I think you should have nothing made when you get home. ?Tell him that since he ignored your important part of the conversation you ignored his. ?

Sarahgracesc

You poor thing!  I hope you feel better soon!  Drink lots of OJ (if you can stomach it), and have some broth or boullion (sp?).  And TAKE IT EASY.

As for Mr. Douchetastic, well, he'll have to call off his plans for this evening.  Tell him not only can he not have his little friends over, but on his way home he needs to stop and get you some popsicles or a slurpee or something that will give you some fluid-intake and happiness.

cajuncutie0169

LOL! He's normally pretty awesome. He's starting to get weird the closer my EDD gets though. He just texted me and asked if I was mad at him. Uh...duh. He said that he told the guys that they can't come over bc he didn't ask permission first and that they reamed his ass for it bwahahaha. I told him that not only am I not making his spaghetti but I expect him to come home with soup, crackers and as much sprite as he can carry.

kittytaylor1

Oh, that's the wrong thing to say on his part!! Hasn't he learned anything about DH etiquette at all?! At least your response was funny... I don't think I would've been so nice about it.

married.com

Oh no! Poor Cajun! Do you have the flu or food poisoning?

kittytaylor1

cajuncutie0169:

He said that he told the guys that they can't come over bc he didn't ask permission first and that they reamed his ass for it bwahahaha.

LOL... now he looks like a p*ssy in front of the guys!! Awesome!!

Reebs S

Loves it.

At least he was somewhat smart - he complimented your cooking 

outlawwoman19

My husband does the same thing to me.. he comes home, sees im still in my robe, and says I look like I don't feel good. DUH!! and then he turns around and naggs because the house didn't get cleaned, and I'm not in the kitchen being a 5 star chef tonight.. ugh.. I wish there was a way for them to be in our shoes at least for one day. We would not hear the end of the whining!! I have developed PUPPPS in the past few weeks, and it has spread to my entire body. And all I get when I ask for him to rub lotion, is his sigh, and I'm tired. Tired?!? let's not even go there!! So I definitely feel where you are coming from!!

TARAnj

I honestly would get a pot out and put raw spaghetti it in. Buy the bread and just put whole cloves on it and by alcohol free beer!