Emotional Support

feelingsad

Hello, I'm new to this website and hope that I am posting in the right place. I am currently in search of emotional support. I am 26 years and have been off birth control for over 2 years. I have been to two doctors who said that all my tests have had normal results. I am patiently waiting for my husband to feel ready to see the doctor about his fertility. I want him to make the decision on his own- without feeling pressured or inadequate. In the mean time, I feel lost- lost in a world full of happy parents. Every friend of mine has children and/or is pregnant. The hardest thing for me right now is that my two closest friends are both newly pregnant. They are 1.5 weeks apart from eachother. I feel so alone. Every month when my period arrives I am crushed. I feel like I can't talk to anyone. No one would understand. They have no idea. I want so bad to bless my parents with a grand child. I'm so sick of my job- where I work closely with mothers and their babies. I'm sick of people asking me why I don't have baby. I just need someone to understand. I feel like I'm inside a dark room with no way out and no oxygen.

Twinkie0612

jefa621:

It can be frustrating.  Are you doing anything to help yourself figure what else might be going on?  Most of us here temp using fertility friend.  Temping is the only way to confirm if/when you ovulate and its a great tool to really help you understand what might be going on with your cycle.  Click my ticker to check it out.  If you're not temping I highly recommend it.  GL!

All of this and GL. I've only been trying for 6 months, I can't imagine how frustrating 2 years would be.

feelingsad

Thank you. I will try temping. I have a lot to learn about it. I love the pics of your dogs. My two dogs are my "kids." They help me through it all.

Neesey

Big hugs to you. Definitely start temping. It really helps me to know what is going on with my body. TTC can feel so helpless sometimes that it is good to have something you can learn from on the journey. You should find a way to talk to your husband about it. I love my husband so much and he's really smart but he wouldnt have known what an SA was without me. You're on the road together. Give him the chance to support you. 

janice9821

Welcome, and wishing you the best of luck.  I've only been trying for 5 months, but have decided to try temping next cycle.  I was hesitant because my erratic work schedule causes me to sleep strange hours, but I just got approved for a transfer so that hopefully won't be as big an issue.  Maybe we can learn the temping ropes together.

ashleyamberRN

I havent been trying for 2 years (7 months) but I slightly know how you feel. Both of my very best friends that I have known for half my life were pregnant at the same time over the summer (had babies aug 13 and sept 23) and I threw both their baby showers. I think it was easier because I love them both so much. Also, I'm a labor and delivery nurse so I am around new moms and babies literally everyday. This is a good website for advice and something to keep you occupied so you dont drive your husband crazy. Good Luck! I hope DH gets tested soon, since all your tests are normal. 

TammyDoubleB

Hang in there. And like PP said, try to start temping. You might find you that get a better idea about your body.

Also, I don't know if this helps, but I had lunch with a friend of mine from college last week. She is 39 (will be 40 next week), and she tried for 6 years to have a child. After 2 miscarriages, she has a perfectly healthy 7 month old little girl. I'm not saying it will take YOU 6 years or that you will miscarry, but I hope that this might give you a little hope for your own future little one. 

JellyTwoPointO

I'm sorry you're feeling so frustrated.  Make sure you're doing all you can do by temping and charting and tracking your CMs and staying in touch with your doctor about your TTC journey.  FertilityFriend.com is a great free charting website. 

As for your husband, have you tried talking to him about testing?  Perhaps doing so in a gentle and kind way just as a "to check things out" step might be good. If he's very reluctant to do so, perhaps talk to him about his feelings on why he doesn't want to go and help him process through that.  Good luck to you.

KikiCohen

Ditto what the other ladies have said.  Also, I know that stress can play a role in TTC, so it might be worth it to see a therapist about the feelings you're having.  I get tired of being asked why we don't have kids too.  It's just what people do to make conversation, so I try to ignore it. 

feelingsad

Thank you for all of your replies, they have helped me so much!! I registered with fertilityfriend.com and have already learned a lot!  I don't think I'm actually ovulating when an ovulation calendar says I am. I learned that my CM shows signs of fertility a week after the calendar predicts oulation. I will definately start temping tomorrow! I went to Walgreens to get a "family planning" basal thermometer today and the guy at the checkout counter asked, "Is your baby sick?" Awkward! My husband seems excited about this temping stuff. He'll probably be more open since I'm going to keep him involved with my fertility/temp charting. THANK YOU EVERYONE!! It's so nice to "talk" to women who understand. It's a sigh of relief.