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December 2010 Moms
xxbabycakesxx
member
bedtime/bed related
xxbabycakesxx
member
K, I've got some issues here, guys.
1. This is flamable, I think =S. I still rock Griff to sleep at bedtime. Takes anywhere between 10-45min. How the eff do I stop this? I'm scared if I let him CIO in the beginning of the night that that'll ruin his STTN (which is more important to me but man my back hurts). Tips? Tricks? Maybe a good flaming will help me?
I would love to rock him forever cause thats the only time he'll cuddle but when (or if) the new LO comes, I can't spend 45min rocking him to bed if DH is at work.
2. For you mommas with 2 or more kids, when the newborn was waking/crying at night, did that wake up your other kid(s)? I'm so worried that Griff will stop STTN when the newborn comes. Guess theres nothing I can really do about that though, right?
3. At what age is it appropriate to switch to a bed from a crib? I'd like Griff to be in a bed (he'll be 20ish months then) when the newborn comes so s/he could use the crib.
Also, Griff is a big squirmer and I bet he'd roll off the bed even with a rail there. Should I just start off with a mattress on the ground? Is anyone thinking about this yet?
TIA =D
This discussion has been closed.
Re: bedtime/bed related
The only one I have a suggestion for is #1.
Honestly, I would start with a period of time that you feel comfortable with, say 20 mins or 30 mins.. gradually decrease the time you rock him. (I know you said it can vary from 10 to 40 mins) But maybe if you stick to a certain amount of time you can decrease it and eventually just rock a few mins.
I use to rock and sing to N for 25 mins. Now, it's pretty much read 3 books, sing 2 songs and bam in the crib.
GL!
1. Rock him for a few minutes until he's drowsy but awake. Then put him in his crib and see how he does. If he starts crying, pick him up and repeat the process. If that's not working, try Ferber.
2. N/A
3. I'm planning on leaving Avery in her crib until she learns how to climb out of it. I have put her on a mattress on the ground while on vacation, and she does usually end up on the floor.
I'll address these as you laid them out.
1) Just try decreasing the time you rock him. P just naturally doesn't seem to even need it, but we do. lol. So, we take her up to bed & walk around & sing 1 song. She still goes in the crib awake, but she goes out in a few. If she's sick or something, sometimes it takes a lil more, but she's fine. I bet Griff will be too if you start now & be gradual so it's easier on you both.
2) I don't know, except I am pretty sure that I'm screwed. lol. P does sleep through almost anything though, so hopefully that will continue!
3) Are you planning on having the baby in with you at all? What we did with P was have her in the PnP in our room for 4 months. We will do the same thing this time too. So, yeah she too will be 20 months when the twins (GAK!!!) get here, but she will be 2 when they go in their room. I think that we will try the transition around 18 months, but I'm just playing this one by ear. YKWIM? And P is a squirmer too - they have those short rails that you put up so they don't fall out when sleeping. They can totally GET out when awake, but that's to be expected. lol.
I would agree with sofamonkey on #1. We were doing the same with our Griff for quite awhile.. I just got tired of holding that 25 lb sack of potatoes every night for 10 minutes so I would start singing 2-4 songs, rock for another minute, and put him down, asleep or no. He would wiggle around and eventually fall asleep. That was a few months ago. Now he literally lunges away from me and into the crib after about 30 seconds of rocking. He doesn't even need me anymore.
As far as moving into a big boy bed, I don't have any personal experience obviously, but I read an article about "the biggest sleep mistakes parents make" and one was moving them into a bed before they're ready. The article suggested that a child younger than 3 typically does not have the self-discipline to stay in bed the entire night. I don't know if this is true, but you might want to look into it?
no flames here. if O liked to be rocked, id probably do it too. he hates it...so he gets a bottle (yes, he still gets a bottle) and a book and into the crib he goes. he rolls around until hes asleep. i bet griff would adjust pretty darn quick and respond well to slowly shortening the rocking like others suggested.
no personal experience with the sleep disruption factor of a second child, but all my friends tell me there are a couple rough nights and then they learn to sleep through everything. crossing fingers.
we plan to have the second baby with us as long as each of us can tolerate. we thought wed be hardcore co-sleepers with O for a very long time, but he hated it, and at 4 months i couldnt sleep anymore and into his own crib he went. no expectations this time, but we will definitely start off having him in a co-sleeper next to our bed.
i have friends who switch the baby to a mattress on the floor at one year and it works out perfectly. however, O would not be able to handle it. he rolls around to get settled and rolls around ALL NIGHT LONG. he would end up on the floor and play, i just know it. im going to keep him in the crib as long as possible. even in a toddler bed, he would climb out. unless something changes with his sleep habits, or the new baby loves to sleep quietly along side us for a whole year, we will be buying or borrowing a second crib
I can only answer #1. We eventually Ferberized C around one year, so now we lay him down sleepy and he falls asleep on his own. At first, we had to sit next to his crib and put a hand around him. He liked to either use our hand as a pillow or have us touch his cheek. Then we'd sneak out. After a few days of that, we transitioned to putting him down and leaving the room. If he started to cry, we'd let him cry for 5 minutes, go back in and soothe him and leave. Then we increased the intervals. It worked! I know it's not for everyone though. We kept resisting, but by one year we figured he needed it.
I still cuddle with him for a few minutes before putting him down. I love that little window of time.
1) I would try just rocking him for less and less everynight and see how he does going into his crib drowsy, but awake. He might surprise you - or it might suck. You never know until you try.
2) I have no idea yet. But right now we plan on keeping the newborn in our room for 3-4 months and then moving him/her into the same room as DS. We'll have a white noise machine going and hopefully they will both adjust. I'm giving it a week or so to see how it goes and if it's still not good or disturbing DS too much then we'll make an adjustment from there.
3) We are also dealing with the same thing. DS will be about 20-21 months when #2 comes along. We haven't decided what we are doing yet. But for now, I'm trying not to stress about it and just going to wait until DS is closer to 18 months old and see if I think he's ready then. Or maybe make the decision to get another crib at that point.
1. No flames....when A got sick a few weeks ago he started snuggling after books and we rocked in the glider until he passed out. We were also transitioning to 1 nap so it didn't take as long. However, whenever we put him in the crib he'd wake back up. We tried the back patting and everything and he would be snoring and still wake up if we left his side. He was previously STTN after sleep training back when he was 6-7 months old. Anyways he's no longer sick so we just added a little snuggle session after books where I sing a song and then he goes into the crib, turns on his seahorse and I leave. He cried maybe 2 minutes before snuggling with the seahorse and passing out for the night. (The night before had been 20 min of crying and then sniffling for an hour since we had dragged it out going into the crib, so for him it works better if we just "peace out" when bedtime routine is done).
2. I don't know what's going to happen. A is such a light sleeper he can hear the floor board creak in his room and pop his head up so fast, we don't go in to check on him anymore we just use the video monitor (we got it months after he was born). In the beginning #2 will be staying in our room for a couple months, but after that...idk, maybe their own room if transitioning in with A doesn't work out.
3. We are hoping to switch around 18 months, but I'm scared. A is such a toss and turner that I'm sure he'd roll out of bed. We'll have the rails, but I'm thinking we may just put his mattress on the ground in the beginning, or put it up and have pillows next to the bed. He's tall for his age, and love to climb (thanks to swimming) that even if #2 wasn't on the way he'd probably be able to climb out of the crib by then so we'd be transitioning earlier than 3 years old easy. There aren't many toys in his room and if he moves out of the crib we'll probably pull the rest out and put in the playroom instead. Furniture is all going to be anchored down so as long as he can't open the door it will be a totally safe zone and kinda boring since no toys, so hopefully he'd just sleep. (maybe I'm delusional....we'll see in a few months)
Thanks for all the replies. I'll have to talk to DH and see what he also wants to do about all these things.
Last night was terrible though. I rocked Griff for 45min and when I went to lay him in his crib he woke up and cried. So I left his room and thought he might fall asleep after a few minutes. All of a sudden I heard a big thud and then Griff bawling. He climbed and fell out of his crib!!! I started screaming and crying and I was just a mess. Griffs fine but I think we're still both in shock.
DH lowered his crib to the last setting so I'm praying this doesnt occur again. *sigh*
#1- I'd do as others suggested- incorporate other things into your bedtime routine. Brush teeth, books, sing while rocking for a FEW, then put down to sleep. You could just gradually cut back your rocking time. We also rocked #1 to sleep AND naps- I really don't remember how we stopped, but we did do CIO (extinction) when needed!!
#2- Mine are 23 months apart- Yes, it did wake him at first, but he was also getting ALL FOUR 2 year molars right when DS2 was born. OMFG. We actually had the bassinet downstairs and I slept on the couch for 2 months. Seriously. All of our bedrooms are like 2 steps away from each other.
That being said- he learned to sleep through it. We had to do some CIO again with him, but we got back on track. Even just today- DS2 refused to nap, but I let him cry for a while. I thought for sure DS1 would've been woken up, but he slept through it all!!
#3- We switched at 2 1/2. They both have convertible cribs that will be their beds anyways, so I didn't care about re-using the crib. I'd keep him in as long as possible. DS1 was a very squirmy sleeper until about the time that we switched him. It was one of the reasons I felt he was ready!! We still have rails up, but he has never fallen. He has also NEVER tried to get out of his bed!!! The kid loves his sleep!
1.) I suggest systematically fading yourself out if you don't want to do CIO. Like PPs said, gradually decrease your time rocking him. When you put him down and he cries, pat him back to sleep. Once you are no longer rocking him, but still patting him, decrease the patting and just have your presence in the room and fade from there. Does that make sense? That was just an example of systematic fading, not necessarily what you will want to do.
3.) We are hoping to keep her in her bed until 2.5 or until she can climb out. Sleepsacks work wonders to prevent climbing. I'm surprised you were able to go this long without having the crib on the lowest setting. We lowered it to the lowest when she was able to stand.
We did sleep training around 7 months. Since she has had a few colds and we just got back from Japan and she is still adjusting from the time change and sleeping with us on vacation, her sleep is all sorts of messed up..... and she has a new cold. Rather than go straight into booster sleep training, we are trying the systematic approach I suggested above. Good luck!