April 2012 Moms
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Am I a bad Mom for this thought?

Maybe this is just because I am a FTM...but after reading the thread about what to wear when in labor, I dont really want LO to be laid on me until she is cleaned up. 

HOWEVER, I feel like there is some research somewhere that I havent looked into that says something about it being good for the baby for this to happen right after delivery?  Can someone please fill me in, or would they evil eye me if I ask for her to be cleaned up a little first (not bath but just the blood and gunk off of her). 

Re: Am I a bad Mom for this thought?

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    I don't think anyone will give you the side-eye.  But, I also bet you'll want to touch her ASAP :)
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    Also, my babe didn't have any gunk on her at all right after coming out! 
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    imagedixee.deluxe:
    I don't think anyone will give you the side-eye.  But, I also bet you'll want to touch her ASAP :)

    This. You won't care what she is covered in, you just want to help her and touch her!

    i wish i could be joking but my dad is the music teacher at a church so he owuld be mad. we had sex, all the time how bad i know but we dont want to wait and he said GREAT OH KAY! and I was really feeling the wets? down there- too embarsed to say- but he acted like man.
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    imagedixee.deluxe:
    I don't think anyone will give you the side-eye.  But, I also bet you'll want to touch her ASAP :)

    I know I'll want to hold her right away :-)...but I am also a big weenie when it comes to anything blood related! I dont know how I am going to make it through labor without passing out! lol.

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    imagedixee.deluxe:
    I don't think anyone will give you the side-eye.  But, I also bet you'll want to touch her ASAP :)

    Agreed.  And I didn't get to hold DS immediately.  The neonatologist wanted to check him out right away because there was meconium in my fluid as I was pushing.  He was all wrapped up by the time I got him, but I don't think he has been adversely affected! 

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    I don't think a 30 sec rub down will harm the bonding process.  But, that's coming from someone who had to wait 20 mins to hold her kids and had no trouble bonding or BFing. 
    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
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    imageaggieamber05:

    imagedixee.deluxe:
    I don't think anyone will give you the side-eye.  But, I also bet you'll want to touch her ASAP :)

    I know I'll want to hold her right away :-)...but I am also a big weenie when it comes to anything blood related! I dont know how I am going to make it through labor without passing out! lol.

    You just will because you are amazing!  You'll surprise yourself.  Plus, you can't really see what's going on down there unless you have a mirror or are really looking.  So you won't see the blood and stuff.  ANd when she comes out, you'll be distracted by the awesomeness of the thing you just did.

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    imagedixee.deluxe:
    I don't think anyone will give you the side-eye.  But, I also bet you'll want to touch her ASAP :)

    I totally agree. It was an hour maybe when they took her to clean her up and even then I was kind of sad!

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    We requested that DS1 be cleaned off before holding him (DH also didn't cut the cord - we are both easily grossed out weenies). It was fine, and you are not a bad mom if that is what you want!
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    lol FTM here too. I kind of feel the same way you do. I just want him cleaned up some! But I have a feeling when the time comes, like what the other ladies are posting, we won't care what's all over them, we'll just want to grab on to that bundle of joy!

    I've been told it's good to do the skin-to-skin contact, that it helps them thrive outside of the womb. There was an article about a woman whose son was pronounced dead and she did the skin-to-skin contact for a while and he came back to life! Pretty cool, it's called kaola care in Australia, which is where the woman was from. I'm sure you can easily find it by googling it.

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    I thought I didn't want her on me at all until she was cleaned up too, but after watching a bunch of Baby Story and One Born Every Minute episodes, it doesn't seem so bad. I still don't want her directly on my skin, though. On a towel is fine.
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    Thanks for your responses...I'm glad some feel the same way, or did!  Makes me feel like less of a bad mom for thinking about it. I think I could totally handle a towel down! I am sure I will want to hold her asap! I am just ready for April period!
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    I was the last person in the world who wanted to touch a newborn baby! But, after enduring a long labor and seeing him for the first time I quickly changed my mind. I helped clean him off a bit and snuggled him before they took him to get cleaned up. You might change your mind in the moment, but if you don't it really doesn't matter and certainly doesn't make you a bad mom!
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    One thing that I did but probably won't do again is touch the baby's head when she's crowing.  That grossed me out. It made me lose concentration.  It was like there was a really big hard thing in my vagina and I touched it and couldn't feel it.  I didn't like that.
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    imagedixee.deluxe:
    One thing that I did but probably won't do again is touch the baby's head when she's crowing.  That grossed me out. It made me lose concentration.  It was like there was a really big hard thing in my vagina and I touched it and couldn't feel it.  I didn't like that.

    Oh no no no...I think I might really pass out if I did that!

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    I was the thinking the same way before we had DS but as soon as he came out i wanted to love on him and just look at his sweet face. Like the other PPs said youll be very surprised at yourself.
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    THey will lay a blanket on your tummy/chest right before baby is delviered, they will lay her on that and nurses will help to dry her off and stimulate her, using blankets, this gets a lot of the gunk off. I remember reaching under the blanket and rubbing him too (my nurses instinct I guess). THen they will remove the wet and dirty balnket and place baby on your chest (babe isn't wet or gross now) or they will wrap her in blankets. Our hopsital does not do routine skin to skin, although research does strongly support it so I will be requesting it.

    I wrote a post before about the benefits, but in short the baby is born and we expect it to adjust immediately tp breathing/stablizing its temp etc. By being placed directly on your chest your rhythmic breathing stimulate sher to breathe (and simulates the womb fluid movements) hearing your HB decreases their cortisol (stress) levels and helps to stablize blood sugars, your chest heats up or cools down to help her regulate her body temp. Its really the best place for abby to spend the first 1-2 hrs. She also will (in about an hour or so) start to root and shows signs of initiating nursing, its always best to nurse on demand, baby's eat much better at that time. Baby won't be laid there all wet and gunky and left like that, we dry them off and clean them up and then cover you both in warm blankets, its very nice actually!

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    You're not a bad mom- I feel exactly the same way. My dh and I have had lengthy conversations about this- I told him that if he had one task in the delivery process it would be to make absolutely sure they don't hand her to me before she's cleaned up. I'm pretty adamant about it.
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    I have told my hubby for years that I only want to be handed a clean baby.

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    When Zach came out they laid a blanket on my belly and put him on the blanket.  I looked at him and cried, but I did not touch him.  They just wiped him down quickly and then gave him to me.

    Not sure what my reaction will be this time...we shall see :)

    But from all the PP you are obviously not alone.  However, be prepared for your feelings to change after you see the baby you've been growing for 40 weeks!!

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    I just saw an episode of a Baby Story the other day where this girl was kissing her baby that was totally gunky.  I thought it was gross, but DH figured I'd do the same when we have Hank.

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    Hah, I had a c/s, but have the most disgusting pic of DS right after they pulled him out and showed him to me over the curtain. He has some nasty chunk right in his eye that looks like a carrot and was covered in blood. Even then I think it was just nature. I just felt like I needed him. I just wanted to touch him and grab him and felt so far away from him. I saw him and he cried and I just started bawling and felt this uncontrollable urge to just hold him. Mother's love I guess! I laid there crying on the table watching him being cleaned up hearing him cry. I always said them pulling him out and me having to wait to hold him was the most heart-wrenching horrible part of the whole c/s. 
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