Parenting after a Loss

Dealing with anxiety

I struggle with anxiety.  Always have.  I don't take medication as a personal choice.  Since having Loretta it has intensified.  I have some methods I use to calm and relax myself and they help me get by. I basically am doing OK. 

But after yesterday and the news of our friend's loss, I'm a mess.  Not only am I racked with grief for her....I am just a mess thinking about harm coming to Lo.  .

Do you have anxiety?  And if so, how do you cope?

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Re: Dealing with anxiety

  • The system that has worked (said loosely) is to ignore it and hope it goes away. I've known since Juneish that I need to call my OB to get on meds for it, but something is preventing me from making the call. Most days I'm okay, but the days that are awful are very awful.
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  • I don't have it at a level where I would need medication, I'm usually very easygoing, my mom and sister struggle with horrendous anxiety so I was always the strong one in comparison. But I do have the normal amount that came with being PGAL and now PAL. I practiced yoga through my pregnancy and I still do when I can, that helps a lot. So does posting here and knowing I'm not alone in my fears. I also turn to prayer, though I admit I have a lot of struggles with my faith when so many bad things seem to happen to good people in spite of prayers. I'm sorry you're feeling bad. I think this shook all of us up. Just like with miscarriage before it affected me, I always knew intellectually that SIDS was real and babies died, but it's hard to comprehend the horror of it until it hits closer to home.
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  • I have horrible anxiety.  I take Zoloft and Buspar and I still can't get a handle on it, alot of the time. 

    The only thing that really helps me is exercise.  If I'm super wound (most of the time), I put on my running clothes and hit the street.  I feel so much better afterward.

     

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  • imagemagdalina.h:
    The system that has worked (said loosely) is to ignore it and hope it goes away. I've known since Juneish that I need to call my OB to get on meds for it, but something is preventing me from making the call. Most days I'm okay, but the days that are awful are very awful.

    this exactly.  I wake up sweating in the middle of the night wanting to wake him up to make sure he's breathing.  THe fear is nonstop.  I imagine horrible, cruel things in my head that I feel could happen any second. 

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  • I am the same...I have been offered meds numerous times but choose not too. The last week or so I have been losing it over the smallest things and worrying like crazy. The news of her horrible loss has sent me into a tail spin. I have never grasped death well and always wish I could change the outcome. I stared at the monitor for most of the night. I guess I am not helping with advice at all but do understand....
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  • I just push through but I may need meds at some point.  I used to take Ativan for anxiety attacks but that isn't ok for pregnancy or breastfeeding so I haven't taken it in a while.  

    I'm pretty much a ball of anxiety all the time.  If I leave the house without my kids, I'm afraid something will happen to one of us while I'm gone.  If I leave the house with them, I'm afraid something will happen to us while we are out.   And I HATE the fact baby's have to be rear facing because I can't see him.  I'm terrified of getting to my destination and something be wrong that I didn't know about.

    At home, I constantly look at LO to make sure he is breathing.   When I get up in the middle of the night, I have to look in the cradle (which has an Angel Monitor) and make sure I see his chest moving up and down.   

     I was pretty bad with DS#1 because my cousin lost a baby to SIDS in the 90s but now being PAL, it's even worse! 

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  • imagemagdalina.h:
    The system that has worked (said loosely) is to ignore it and hope it goes away. I've known since Juneish that I need to call my OB to get on meds for it, but something is preventing me from making the call. Most days I'm okay, but the days that are awful are very awful.

    I have heard all about postpartum depression, but I just read something about postpartum anxiety the other day.  I didn't even know it was a thing.  My OB never mentioned it to me.  

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  • imagemagdalina.h:
    The system that has worked (said loosely) is to ignore it and hope it goes away. I've known since Juneish that I need to call my OB to get on meds for it, but something is preventing me from making the call. Most days I'm okay, but the days that are awful are very awful.

    This is me too. Most days are fine, but there are days that are really bad. I think there may be a little seasonal depression here too though.

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  • imageKCKSarah:

    imagemagdalina.h:
    The system that has worked (said loosely) is to ignore it and hope it goes away. I've known since Juneish that I need to call my OB to get on meds for it, but something is preventing me from making the call. Most days I'm okay, but the days that are awful are very awful.

    I have heard all about postpartum depression, but I just read something about postpartum anxiety the other day.  I didn't even know it was a thing.  My OB never mentioned it to me.  

    I had terrible PP anxiety after I lost Ella and took Zoloft until I was about 12 wks pg with DS. After he was born, healthy and perfect I might add, I had such intense anxiety that I had to go back on Zoloft.  I fought it for about 2 weeks til I couldn't take it anymore. Im thankful I did bc my anxiety is so much more tolerable. I find that I still worry but it doesn't escalate to an unhealthy level.

    formerly laurc Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers BFP#1- 12.31.09- EDD 09.10.10- our angel Ella born sleeping on 09.03.10 BFP#2- 03.09.11- EDD 11.13.11- DS born 10.29.11 via successful induction BFP#3- 6.27.12- EDD 3.5.13- CVS 8.28.12, it's a BOY!-- DS2 born 2.14.13 via successful induction
  • imagelalaellac:
    imageKCKSarah:

    imagemagdalina.h:
    The system that has worked (said loosely) is to ignore it and hope it goes away. I've known since Juneish that I need to call my OB to get on meds for it, but something is preventing me from making the call. Most days I'm okay, but the days that are awful are very awful.

    I have heard all about postpartum depression, but I just read something about postpartum anxiety the other day.  I didn't even know it was a thing.  My OB never mentioned it to me.  

    I had terrible PP anxiety after I lost Ella and took Zoloft until I was about 12 wks pg with DS. After he was born, healthy and perfect I might add, I had such intense anxiety that I had to go back on Zoloft.  I fought it for about 2 weeks til I couldn't take it anymore. Im thankful I did bc my anxiety is so much more tolerable. I find that I still worry but it doesn't escalate to an unhealthy level.

    If you are comfortable sharing, would you tell me what you consider an unhealthy level?

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  • imageKCKSarah:
    imagelalaellac:
    imageKCKSarah:

    imagemagdalina.h:
    The system that has worked (said loosely) is to ignore it and hope it goes away. I've known since Juneish that I need to call my OB to get on meds for it, but something is preventing me from making the call. Most days I'm okay, but the days that are awful are very awful.

    I have heard all about postpartum depression, but I just read something about postpartum anxiety the other day.  I didn't even know it was a thing.  My OB never mentioned it to me.  

    I had terrible PP anxiety after I lost Ella and took Zoloft until I was about 12 wks pg with DS. After he was born, healthy and perfect I might add, I had such intense anxiety that I had to go back on Zoloft.  I fought it for about 2 weeks til I couldn't take it anymore. Im thankful I did bc my anxiety is so much more tolerable. I find that I still worry but it doesn't escalate to an unhealthy level.

    If you are comfortable sharing, would you tell me what you consider an unhealthy level?

    I was worried I'd stop being able to take care of myself and more importantly DS. I didn't let it get that far, but my anxiety was impacting my ability to communicate with DH and to a small degree function on a daily basis.  Now I'm able to take care of myself, DS and all of my responsibilities as a wife, mother, employee and not feel paralyzed.  I also had a good amount of social anxiety after both DD and DS were born and the Zoloft helps with that too so I don't feel like I'm crawling out of my skin when I'm out in public around strangers and even ppl I know and am normally very comfortable around. 

    formerly laurc Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers BFP#1- 12.31.09- EDD 09.10.10- our angel Ella born sleeping on 09.03.10 BFP#2- 03.09.11- EDD 11.13.11- DS born 10.29.11 via successful induction BFP#3- 6.27.12- EDD 3.5.13- CVS 8.28.12, it's a BOY!-- DS2 born 2.14.13 via successful induction
  • imageKCKSarah:

    imagemagdalina.h:
    The system that has worked (said loosely) is to ignore it and hope it goes away. I've known since Juneish that I need to call my OB to get on meds for it, but something is preventing me from making the call. Most days I'm okay, but the days that are awful are very awful.

    I have heard all about postpartum depression, but I just read something about postpartum anxiety the other day.  I didn't even know it was a thing.  My OB never mentioned it to me.  

    I don't post here often (read: ever?) but wanted to chime in. There are actually a couple different forms of PPD, one being post partum anxiety. I have a mild version of PPD that up until now hadn't felt the need for medication, but I'm actually going to be talking with my MW next week. One thing that has helped me tremendously is going to a post partum support group. It's held at the hospital I delivered at and we meet every other week. It's so nice to be able to share what your feeling and have someone understand who is there or has been there and can offer a suggestion. I'd look to see if there is anything like that around you.

    I would definitely talk to somebody about it. If medication is t the route for you, you can definitely let that be known. 

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