Episiotomies and male docs (a bit long :/)

bigbear

So I went in for my 37w appointment yesterday. Made progress!! 1cm, 50%, 0 station YAY

A bit of a disappointing part is that my group B strep came back positive Oh well, not a big deal but I wish I didn't have to do the antibiotics since my goal was med free birth, with walking around, shower etc.. So we'll see how all that goes with the stupid tubes in my arms lol.

But here is an interesting thing I found out when I talked to my doc. And it actually upset me... She is "against' episiotomies and only does them in medical emergencies, which she said was only ONCE in her career! So that should tell you that they are really not necessary. So when I spoke to her of some of my "plans" and said that I did not want an episiotomy under no circumstances (unless it's an absolute emergency) she said "well I don't do them, but all our male docs do as a standard procedure so you'll have to be very clear about not wanting one". I was shocked. They don't even have vaginas so how the heck do they know! I mean seriously, so they just cut no matter what?!?! That makes no sense to me at all!!!!!! So I really hope a male doc is not on call when I go into labor or I'm going to freak out on him should he start pushing the procedure.

Also, another surprising thing was the whole cutting the cord after it's stopped pulsating. I said I wanted that done and the doc informed me that none of the docs are trained to do that but that they'll try to go by my wishes. What the heck does that mean?!?!? How hard is it to wait, it's not like it's taking forever or is hard to determine when it's stopped...

At least she said right away that they very much encourage the immediate contact and bonding with the mom so they can easily delay all the things for an hour and can do the apgar while she's on me. So that's good. I"m just a bit worried that some weirdo doc will try to push things on me and in all the hectic I won't even know what the heck is going on.

My DH said "don't worry babe, that's the least I can do. I can't help you make the pain go away but I can at least knock the doc out should he not obey you" I LOVE HIM

What is your experience at your clinic when it comes to standard procedures?

 

Huahine

Do you have a birth plan?  If not, you might want to put a simple one together expressing your desires that they do not cut unless absolutely necessary and that you would like the cord to be allowed to stop pulsing before they clamp it off.  That way your husband will have something to refer to (shove in their faces) in the heat of the moment. 

When you arrive at the hospital, you may want to also ask to be assigned to a nurse who is familiar with and supportive of natural birth.  Since you have to be on the antibiotics for a while, you could ask them to use a hep-lock IV so that once the first round of drugs is done you can detach from the tubes and have more freedom of movement. 

GreeneyesP

bigbear:

So I went in for my 37w appointment yesterday. Made progress!! 1cm, 50%, 0 station YAY

A bit of a disappointing part is that my group B strep came back positive Oh well, not a big deal but I wish I didn't have to do the antibiotics since my goal was med free birth, with walking around, shower etc.. So we'll see how all that goes with the stupid tubes in my arms lol.

But here is an interesting thing I found out when I talked to my doc. And it actually upset me... She is "against' episiotomies and only does them in medical emergencies, which she said was only ONCE in her career! So that should tell you that they are really not necessary. So when I spoke to her of some of my "plans" and said that I did not want an episiotomy under no circumstances (unless it's an absolute emergency) she said "well I don't do them, but all our male docs do as a standard procedure so you'll have to be very clear about not wanting one". I was shocked. They don't even have vaginas so how the heck do they know! I mean seriously, so they just cut no matter what?!?! That makes no sense to me at all!!!!!! So I really hope a male doc is not on call when I go into labor or I'm going to freak out on him should he start pushing the procedure.

Also, another surprising thing was the whole cutting the cord after it's stopped pulsating. I said I wanted that done and the doc informed me that none of the docs are trained to do that but that they'll try to go by my wishes. What the heck does that mean?!?!? How hard is it to wait, it's not like it's taking forever or is hard to determine when it's stopped...

At least she said right away that they very much encourage the immediate contact and bonding with the mom so they can easily delay all the things for an hour and can do the apgar while she's on me. So that's good. I"m just a bit worried that some weirdo doc will try to push things on me and in all the hectic I won't even know what the heck is going on.

My DH said "don't worry babe, that's the least I can do. I can't help you make the pain go away but I can at least knock the doc out should he not obey you" I LOVE HIM

What is your experience at your clinic when it comes to standard procedures?

 

I'm sorry about your positive strep test:( This was my worry last week when I had mine done.  I'm planning natural water birth, so my nightmare is being strapped to the bed the whole time.  But my MW told me as long as strep was the only issue to still ask/demand a hep lock because antibiotics do not need to be administered continuously.  Ask your OB about that as an option, she seems pretty savvy and nat birth friendly.

The delayed cord clamping is so cool.  I found this posted on the nat birth board and it convinced my DH that we definitly want this in our birth plan.  It only takes 15 min.  In that time they can do agpar, clean baby off, assess hearing, administer vit K. while baby lays on your chest. It doesn't really take any special "training".  Maybe the pics will help bring your ob on board. It's so awesome!

https://misskalypso.wordpress.com/2011/12/06/delayedcordclamppics/

The episiotomy thing scares me.  One of the main reasons I switched to MW(she's been in practice 35 years and has only performed a handful of them).  My male OB terrified me when I talked to him about birthing options and what I had been leaning and reading about.  I almost ran screaming form the room when he started talking elective c-sections.  AnywaY, don't be afraid to fight for your right to tear!  Your body, your choice.  Most of the time, male docs think that the episiotomy is easier on them selves because it's a neater cut to stitch and isn't as time consuming.  D**cks.

Good thing your DH will be there.LOL! He sounds just like mine.  As my due date approaches , he gets more and more protective.  Just let some ignorant nurse or resident battle me on my birth plan.  My 6ft 260 teddy bear will morph into a very unstable grizzly bear!

Good luck, and don't despair, there are options for you!!!!

 

 

 

AliW220

Our hospital is very natural birth friendly, standard procedure seems to be starting out med free, and do interventions if needed, or planned on previously (inductions, epidurals, etc). Sorry I can't relate more on the episiotomy thing.

I agree with PP that you should have a birth plan so that the staff - nurses & dr's - can be all on the same page as you when you are in their care. I wrote up a page worth of things that I feel strongly about, and always included the whole "unless medically necessary" because I do understand that unexpected things happen (like I don't want an IV, but if I get dehyrdated from vomiting or something, duh, it's way better to have one). I also feel very strongly about not clamping the cord until it is finished pulsating. 

I brought 2 copies of my birth plan to a prenatal appt with my OB, figuring I'd have to change stuff around and needed one to remember what to change.  He assured me that my requests were very reasonable. He initialed both of them, and is keeping on in my medical file, and sent the other to be in L&D so that any staff that will be on shift when I go into labor can check up my wishes.

I also mentioned in my birth plan how I'm completely freaked out by surgery (never had any before!), so if something happens and I need a C/S, I'll be a serious nervous wreck.  I worked as a CNA for 2 years, and little tips on how people will react or feel in certain situations can really make a difference when providing care. 

princessb44@hotmail.com

Hello   All Iv starts are hep lockable or int able so you should not have to ask for that. The nurse should unhook you fom the Iv abx or fluids as soon as they r in so that you can get active. Don't worry to much about he Iv they r more portable then u think you will not be tied to the bed.   I had a 4th degree epis with my first and it was not so bad. Just took some ice packs a little sore. All you can hope for is a healthy mommy and lo in the end. Hopefully you will have a good supportive medical team and have few interventions. 

lukalover

In our class at the hospital the nurse said that it's standard procedure to allow a tear rather than perform an epi. I was really surprised but happy to hear this...

birdie9927

Weird about the episiotomies.....my male doctor told me he only does them in rare circumstances if the baby seems truly stuck and is in trouble. My OB is very natural-friendly in general, though. My Bradley teacher told us episiotomies are starting to be considered old school by a lot of OBs and the younger doctors don't do them as much. But some older doctors were taught to do them and still continue the practice. It also might just be the culture of this particular practice/hospital. Are they not as natural friendly in general? Glad your DH is going to stand up for you!

bigbear

Thank you all so much!

I do have those things written down on a unofficial birth plan so to speak. I asked my doc and she said I didn't need to write it down but just talk to the staff when I get to L&D but I DON'T want to do that b/c I may forget or they may "overhear" what I'm saying. So I'm writing everything down and handing it out! DH will have one in his hand to shove it down the docs throat should he not cooperate LMAO He is my 6'3" 220lbs bear haha

At the end of the day, of course all I want is a healthy baby and a healthy mom but want to avoid anything that isn't necessary.

Most of the staff there is awesome and they support natural birth. Just not sure what is up with all the dudes. So stuck in the old ways and I just have the feeling (like one of you said) that they do it as it is easier for them to stick up a straight cut. A-holes!!!

And THANK YOU for the tips on the cord cutting! I will have this ready for my doc She is very open to new suggestions and things so that is awesome. I can only hope she will be there to deliver

I have to say it again, I love this board and all the mamas on here! So helpful and reassuring

Jolaine83

Does it seem like your female OB is being unnecessarily negative about the male OBs?  What is the likelihood that they ALL are so dramatically forceful about episiotomies?  It seems like your female OB might have a beef with them, I'd talk all of these negative opinions of hers with a grain of salt.

Have a birth plan but plan to be flexible as needed.  This doesn't mean allow a episiotomy for no reason, but it does mean be open to what may or may not work for your delivery.  Childbirth is messy, complicated and unpredictable.  Have your DH there as your support, focusing more on making sure you understand what's going on when it's going on (so you can make educated choices to keep as much with your birth plan as is safe and possible) and less on knocking any Dr out who possibly suggests that things might need to take a different route than planned.

I'm not saying this to put a damper on your idealized birth but rather to prepare you for the fact that anything can happen.  Hopefully you get the birth you want without issues.

HopingForOne

My male doctor says he only recommends them if he thinks it will actually be useful/helpful (ie exhausted mother having trouble with pushing, and he thinks it might be helpful to do the episiotomy).  But that's the thing...he recommends it in those circumstances.  He doesn't just randomly do it - that's illegal.  You need consent to do a medical procedure, no matter how simple some think it is.

SmittyPants

Jolaine83:

Does it seem like your female OB is being unnecessarily negative about the male OBs?  What is the likelihood that they ALL are so dramatically forceful about episiotomies?  It seems like your female OB might have a beef with them, I'd talk all of these negative opinions of hers with a grain of salt.

Have a birth plan but plan to be flexible as needed.  This doesn't mean allow a episiotomy for no reason, but it does mean be open to what may or may not work for your delivery.  Childbirth is messy, complicated and unpredictable.  Have your DH there as your support, focusing more on making sure you understand what's going on when it's going on (so you can make educated choices to keep as much with your birth plan as is safe and possible) and less on knocking any Dr out who possibly suggests that things might need to take a different route than planned.

I'm not saying this to put a damper on your idealized birth but rather to prepare you for the fact that anything can happen.  Hopefully you get the birth you want without issues.

THIS

My 9 pound 9 ounce baby was stuck and the doc made an emergency decision to cut. After 23 hours of labor and an hour of pushing, I didn't care. It took them ten minutes to stitch me up but I've needed nothing but a few ice packs and Motrin. It's very sore but not he end of the world.

Clearly this was not my birth plan, but please please please be prepared for anything to happen. I don't think I would be handling this well if I was very rigid in what I did and did not want.  I really hope all goes well for you.