Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
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First Pregnancy Loss

I've wanted a child for as long as I can remember. I've finally found the right man in 2010 and we started TTC last March. I had a BFP on 11.14.11 but started to spot almost immediately. At first it was very light (but dark in color) and I didn't think much of it since it went away. But the spotting came back on a weekly basis. When I brought this concern up with my doctor (twice), he brushed it off and told me it was normal. The spotting turned to heavy bleeding 12.20.11 and we lost our angel on 12.21.11. I was on the toilet cramping and I saw the sack containing our baby leave my body.

My family and friends have been more than supportive but I've been having a difficult time. It's hard not to be bitter and resentful when the ones telling you it will be OK ALL HAVE BABIES. I also have two close friends and an acquaintance who became PG around the same time as me and I can't speak to them or want anything to do with them. I am 36 this year and I am afraid my chances of becoming a mother are slipping away. It is SO difficult to stay positive.

My mother had similar spotting symptoms when she was pregnant with me and her doctor gave her P4 shots for a week and all was OK. I just wish I had known about this before the MC happened. I would have forced my doctor to give me the same shots. UGH.

Does anyone else feel the same way?

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
Lilypie - (YMDN)

Re: First Pregnancy Loss

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    I am so sorry for your loss. I also have friends who got pregnant around the same time as me. I have to avoid them. As well as I'm doing, I just can't push myself to that point yet. I wish you the best.
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    I am so sorry for your loss. I too am 35, and am in the process of my first miscarriage, which started two weeks ago. It took me a year to get this BFP and I'm scared it'll take that long to get another. To top it off I have two very large fibroids that need to be removed surgically before I can try again. (so I'm looking at several months wait)

    All I can say is, there are women out there in their late 30s and even 40s having babies. It CAN happen for us too! I know it's hard to stay positive, but just hang in there.

    imageimage
    BFP with #1 (twins!) 11/18/2011 - missed m/c at 8weeks3days; d&c 1/19/2012; myomectomy to remove 18cm+,10cm & 5cm fibroids 4/2012; TTC again 7/2012; BFP #2 (twins) 11/13/2012; missed m/c at 7weeks;
    BFP #3: baby girl born 3/5/2014

    Balaustine: an anthology about wanting family
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    I'm so sorry for your loss.  I lost my first LO at almost 12 weeks and it was hard to be around all the pregnant people in my life.  I was so sad and confused about why it had to happen to me.  I know all too well what you're feeling.  I can tell you that it does get better with time, though I have my bad days and never stop missing my LO.  **Hugs**  We are here for you.
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    Thanks for all the support and kind words, it means a lot. One day at a time....
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Lilypie - (YMDN)

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