April 2012 Moms
Options

Bridesmaid dress appt.....ugh

So I must vent to my April bumpie "strangers" because I can't elsewhere. My best friend and SIL is getting married June 1st. (My husband and I met through her. We played college soccer together!) I have set up her bridal appt for this weekend per her request at David's Bridal. I have no idea how to determine what dress size I will need just weeks after giving birth!!! My due date is April 27th, which I am pretty sure means I could easily give birth beg of May?!

I am being selfish and ungrateful to be in her wedding (but keeping it to myself) because 1) I don't like the color she chose (pink and I am far, far from being a pink fan) 2) I will prob still be leaking from my vag, among other uncomfortable situations in a dress standing among the rest of the wedding party 3) Only God knows what size I'll be 4) I don't want to spend the money HOPING a dress will fit in a color I'll def never wear again. 5) Both sides of our families will be invited and my poor newborn baby will need to attend?! 6) I am a beer drinking, up all night kind of girl and won't be able to participate in the wedding or pre-wedding activities as I'd always hoped for my BFF! (Singing our favorite Journey songs karaoke style at the wedding will not be the same! It was awesome at my wedding! haha)

 So there is my rant. It is helping already!  

Re: Bridesmaid dress appt.....ugh

  • Options

    Try on a dress and then buy at least 1 size larger than what currently fits.  It is much easier (and cheaper) to alter a dress down then up!  

    You will look 6 months pregnant the day you leave the hospital (if you are lucky some bellies take longer to go down).   

    If you are planning to BF your son your boobs have the potential to be HUGE so also take that into consideration. 

    Also if you are BF you will probably still be nursing every 2 to 3 hours so not only will he need to attend the wedding he will need to be with you all day.  

    Honestly, if I were you I would call her up and politely bow out.  I can not imagine being in anyone's wedding (sister, BFF, etc) that soon after giving birth. 

    Good luck. 

    eta: I've been a bridesmaid in 6 weddings and I have never, ever worn the dress a second time.  In fact all dresses go to Goodwill the day after the wedding! 

    Baby Birthday Ticker TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Options

    I feel your pain.

    I am in a wedding on Aug 3, and our dress appt is next week. I am dreading it! 

  • Loading the player...
  • Options
    EJVEJV member
    Dang it...I was hoping more ladies would have opinions or suggestions. As a FTM I have no idea what to expect as to how I'll feel, look, what my new little lady will feel like, etc. I'd really like to participate for my friend/SIL but I just don't know how to feel about the situation. (The worst part is they didn't get engaged until Nov 30, 2011! She is speed planning the wedding because they want to go to Italy in June. Their honeymoon is the most important to them. Been dating 5 years and neither is religious. Ceremony is not important, they want to travel together! She originally wanted to hurry up and choose May! I told her May would be too crazy for DH and I to be involved, so she chose June 1st. Like that was a lot of breathing room. Bleh)
  • Options

    After this additional information I really think it's time to bow out.  

    Tell her you'll be there for her in another capacity, perhaps as a greeter/program hander-outer (ok, not a real word but you know what I mean) but you just can't be a BM.  


    Baby Birthday Ticker TickerBaby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Options

    I would stay in the wedding.  It's your best friend and she introduced you, so obviously she's someone very important to you.  It sounds like she tried to accommodate you by pushing the wedding back to June, so she might be (understandably IMO) upset if you back out now.  

    Order the dress a size or two up and get it altered.  Bridesmaid dresses generally suck and rarely get used again, but it's a crappy sacrifice we make for our dear friends.   As it's a family wedding, you'll have lots of hands willing to hold DS if you need.  Bring a flattering dress along to change into after the ceremony and pictures, and if anyone questions it, tell them you got breast milk over the bridesmaid one :)

    Granted, I'm a FTM who is clueless about baby care.  We have a close friend's wedding May 18th in SC (we're in NY) that we're hoping to attend, but we'll be playing that one by ear.  

     

    Belly Dweller: EDD 04/22/2014
    Big Boy: Born 05/2012
  • Options

    I totally get where your coming from. I am goin to have to bow out of my SIL wedding, given it is so soon after my due date. If your sticking with standing up, I would order the dress 1-2 sizes bigger then your normal bridesmaid dress size. From what I remember, bridesmaid dresses run smaller than normal dress sizes so keep that in mind. For example, If you were a normal size 8 then bridesmaid dress you would need a 10 or maybe even 12 depending on the cut of the dress. I am not sure how well it works or not but there is some sort of undergarment you can wear right after you have the baby that will help with the process of reducing the size of your belly. I plan on wearing that after I have the baby.

    Besides the color, is the dress at least somewhat forgiving? Like empire waist?

  • Options
    imageBigAppleBiggerBelly:

    I would stay in the wedding.  It's your best friend and she introduced you, so obviously she's someone very important to you.  It sounds like she tried to accommodate you by pushing the wedding back to June, so she might be (understandably IMO) upset if you back out now.  

    Order the dress a size or two up and get it altered.  Bridesmaid dresses generally suck and rarely get used again, but it's a crappy sacrifice we make for our dear friends.   As it's a family wedding, you'll have lots of hands willing to hold DS if you need.  Bring a flattering dress along to change into after the ceremony and pictures, and if anyone questions it, tell them you got breast milk over the bridesmaid one :)

    Granted, I'm a FTM who is clueless about baby care.  We have a close friend's wedding May 18th in SC (we're in NY) that we're hoping to attend, but we'll be playing that one by ear.  

    I am also a FTM and I agree with this. My BM had a 3 month old at our wedding and I just ensured we made lots of preparation to make the day as easy as possible for her (we actually had the dresses made so she could make hers after baby came, I ensured that there was a quiet place she could go and breast feed, her husband came with us to take photos so that he could hold the baby and baby was still close to her, I chose fairly flat shoes that were comfie and the dress was also designed so as to flow and hence not matter if the tummy was bigger or smaller than expected). If she is your best friend and its a family occassion, surely she'll be willing to help out like this too?

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Options
    EJVEJV member

    Besides the color, is the dress at least somewhat forgiving? Like empire waist?

     

    I think there are 6 choices in the color. So that will be good, there are some choices better than others. Most are strapless though and I'm worried about how big "the girls" will get!  

  • Options
    EJVEJV member
    imagejamaicam:
    imageBigAppleBiggerBelly:

    I would stay in the wedding.  It's your best friend and she introduced you, so obviously she's someone very important to you.  It sounds like she tried to accommodate you by pushing the wedding back to June, so she might be (understandably IMO) upset if you back out now.  

    Order the dress a size or two up and get it altered.  Bridesmaid dresses generally suck and rarely get used again, but it's a crappy sacrifice we make for our dear friends.   As it's a family wedding, you'll have lots of hands willing to hold DS if you need.  Bring a flattering dress along to change into after the ceremony and pictures, and if anyone questions it, tell them you got breast milk over the bridesmaid one :)

    Granted, I'm a FTM who is clueless about baby care.  We have a close friend's wedding May 18th in SC (we're in NY) that we're hoping to attend, but we'll be playing that one by ear.  

    I am also a FTM and I agree with this. My BM had a 3 month old at our wedding and I just ensured we made lots of preparation to make the day as easy as possible for her (we actually had the dresses made so she could make hers after baby came, I ensured that there was a quiet place she could go and breast feed, her husband came with us to take photos so that he could hold the baby and baby was still close to her, I chose fairly flat shoes that were comfie and the dress was also designed so as to flow and hence not matter if the tummy was bigger or smaller than expected). If she is your best friend and its a family occassion, surely she'll be willing to help out like this too?

     

    Ahhh! I figured the quote out. Haha  I think she will be very willing to be accommodating. She is quite clueless when it comes to pregnancy and babies.I am sure she just doesn't see how much accommodating may be necessary. I think if I find the right way to express what I need, it shouldn't be a big issue. I'm just stressed about being a new mom and having a big event to attend! 

  • Options

    I think I'd try my hardest to stay in the wedding, but make sure to set the expectations with the bride so she doesnt think you're being a crappy bridesmaid.  Its her special day too - and it sounds like she really wants you to be a part of it.

    Like PPs mentioned, I've never reworn a bridesmaids dress - its a sunk cost to me. . . I usually donate them to a place that collects prom/formal dresses for underprivileged kids.  If the dress is really unflattering, I'd ask if there's another possibility in the same fabric to allow better coverage of your boobs and not highlighting your waistline.

    Is there a quiet place at the reception location that you could have a sitter/extended family member stay with the baby?  I've had 2 friends that have been in this exact situation - and they basically had someone stay with the baby, and then they would go out to feed the baby and come back when done.  I wouldnt plan on closing the place down - but I think you can make the most important parts of the evening (stand in wedding, speeches if asked, pics).  Maybe even ask the bride which pieces are most important for you to be there for so that you can try to be in the room for those. . .

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Options
    My boobs have grown disgustingly big. Strapless may be hard to wear. I hated trying on bridesmaid dresses before I got pregnant. My SIL is making her own dresses, not so hot either.Had zero choice in the matter and was told they would be making after the baby, Another reason I had to step out. Thats nice she is giving you some choice in the matter. I did the same thing when I got married. Unfortunately, your not going to be feeling the greatest. On a positive note, maybe you will have a little tan since it will be summer. A little color helps. Overall, this isn't the ideal situation. Your'e a good friend to being there on her special day!
  • Options
    EJVEJV member

    Thanks for chiming in ladies. I needed to vent a little. I think I just need be more open and tell her what I may need to do on the day. But I will be there to support her! 

    Here's to hoping for a good alter, a little sun before so I'm not a scary pasty in pink, some helpful hands for LO and a happy bride! :) 

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"