Anyone's Doctor.....

Nurse Lisa

Suggest letting their lo literally CIO? At dd's six month appt we talked about sleep issues and our pedi suggests putting dd in crib and if she starts to cry let her cry without going in at all. This sounds like it would be so hard for me to do. Her reasoning behind it is she says that going in usually just escalates the crying, which in our case it does. Whenever dd is playing somewhere and she's starting to fuss as soon as she sees someone's and then we walk away she starts to scream! Anyone do CIO and not go in room at intervals? Thoughts? Suggestions?

CarlaAndJames

Haha I feel like the Ferber pusher around here, but it really did work for us so I'll keep recommending it

When we first started doing it (it's basically letting them cry and going in to check her at lengthening intervals) she definitely escalated the crying. As soon as she figured out we were coming in but weren't going to get her up she'd lose it. But the point of us going in wasn't to calm her down, it was just to keep her from feeling totally alone. Letting them cry until they stop seems harsh to me, I was afraid doing that would make her scared of bedtime because she'd know once she was in bed she was all alone. The checking just makes her feel like if she really needs us, we'll be there. But the whole point is for them to learn to calm themselves down, not for us to do it. That way you don't have to go in every time they wake up, since they'll learn to wake up, fuss for a second and then fall back asleep on their own.

EMLYNNLERETTE

Our Dr. told us to do that but I will.not. do that to my LO.  If we don't go in, that is when she freaks out on us.  I know everyone does things differently, and I don't judge parents who do let their babies CIO, but some babies just want the reassurance that it is actually ok.  I'm not familiar with all of the methods, because we make up our own for our family, but I know a few bumpies who have talked about sitting next to the crib in a chair and eventually moving farther and farther away?  Or do like me and just keep them awake until you KNOW they are going to sleep and cuddle them to sleep.  I will warn you though that my baby has only slept in her crib once and all other times it is in my bed or in her car seat.  Some babies just need to be cuddled I think.  With the way I do it, it normally takes MAYBE 10 minutes to put her to sleep which IMO is way easier/sweeter/less stressful than listening to any baby CIO especially my own!

RClaffee

I would try letting her go for an interval that makes you comfortable to start and see what happens.  

We were having a really tough time with Abby falling asleep a while ago. She would do the same thing that your daughter does. She would fuss, see us, and then start to cry. We just started always giving her five minutes to calm herself. Honestly, we very rarely hear her after five minutes. If she is still crying, we then evaluate whether we should go in or not based on how upset she sounds (for example, if she is just making little fussy sounds, we won't go in, if she sounds like she is just riling herself up, we go get her.). 

Have you tried leaving LO in the crib to cry before?  

MommaG123

We did/are doing Ferber and there have been instances where I haven't gone in on the scheduled interval because it would just piss her off and keep her from falling to sleep on her own.

That said, we have a video monitor so we could watch her through it and make sure nothing bad was happening to her and I could watch her and see her cues and realized that if I wouldn't go in on the set interval that she would then fall asleep 1-2 minutes after that.  So we weren't waiting long enough. 

DramaMama06

Mare0527:

We did/are doing Ferber and there have been instances where I haven't gone in on the scheduled interval because it would just piss her off and keep her from falling to sleep on her own.

That said, we have a video monitor so we could watch her through it and make sure nothing bad was happening to her and I could watch her and see her cues and realized that if I wouldn't go in on the set interval that she would then fall asleep 1-2 minutes after that.  So we weren't waiting long enough. 

this. we do CIO (ferber) as a last resort and it works for us. i can usually tell by his cries if going in will help or hurt. our dr gently suggested it to us but said he understands that sometimes parents just aren't ok with it.

CarlaAndJames

Mare0527:

We did/are doing Ferber and there have been instances where I haven't gone in on the scheduled interval because it would just piss her off and keep her from falling to sleep on her own.

That said, we have a video monitor so we could watch her through it and make sure nothing bad was happening to her and I could watch her and see her cues and realized that if I wouldn't go in on the set interval that she would then fall asleep 1-2 minutes after that.  So we weren't waiting long enough. 

good point - the Ferber book even says to use your instincts, and if you feel like they are starting to wind down and going in might just get them worked back up, to leave them be a little longer.

pmpkn219

Nope, but his doctor basically tells meto do what I feel is right and asks if I have any questions.

J definitely escalates crying when we go in to check on him at intervals, but only for like 5 seconds after we leave his room, it isn't sustained. We only have to go in once every few nights now. We also extend the interval of checking if he's winding down. I would not be comfortable letting him just cry himself to sleep without any indication that we are there and love him (even though we're letting him go to sleep himself).

buffymu

I personally would not do that, but that's my opinion. I check on LO every other minute if she is crying. It does not cause her to escalate and has worked really well. My doctor also told me not to let her cry more than 20 minutes no matter how often I checked on her. We've never had it go that long. I probably wouldn't last past minute 15 anyway.