35 yo divorced dad + 20 y.o. = ew?

AggieCouple

Is 15 years a huge gap?  He is literally old enough to be her father. She was 16 when his DD was born. 

MrsSR

I don't think it's that bad... but it would depend on how mature she is.  I could have dated a man that age when I was 20.  My bff-not. 

L D

For her to only be 20 yes that is ew and a huge gap.  She isn't even legal to drink and he has been married, had kids and divorced.  Too much a life experience difference.  She has barly "lived" so to speak.  

My sister is 30 an is dating a 46-47 yr old.  He is old enough to be my dad and only 4yrs younger than my mom.  I find that a little creepy but he is a great guy and my sister really likes him.  He has been married/divorced 3 times and she is working on her first so I don't see a wedding anywhere near (of ever) in their future.  They've been together over a year and he is taking her to Italy in June for 10days!!  

After a point I don't think age matters but in the case you mentioned it still does.  She is just so young.   

Rebekah1021

my inlaws have a twelve year difference and my grandparents had a thirty five year difference. sorry for the typos, i am on my phone.

AnnapolisLari

15 years when she's 30 and he's 45? Not as big a deal.

15 years when she's not even old enough to drink legally? That's where the "ew" comes in for me.

firefightersgal

I think a 15 year gap isn't a huge deal...except that is is only 20 years old.

Bonidiebabe

My DH and I are 13 years apart. It isn't that often that our age is an issue (maybe with music taste). I agree with PP that it is more about how young the younger person is.

changingnames

At twenty their life experiences are very different versus if they were thir and forty five it would be not such a big deal. Dh and I are seven years apart and met when he was thirty five and I was twenty eight- not gross. If we had been fourteen and twenty one it would have been puke worthy- our life experiences would have been too vastly different. She hasn't had time to live as an adult and shouldn't give up that experience to be with some who is loving an adult life.

summerbrideDC

Not what I'd hope for for my child, but unless I knew each person and their life experience going into the relationship, I dont' think I could really draw a conclusion as to the "ew" factor.

winomom22

20 yo and a 35 yo yeah ew....but....30 and 45? Not so ew. I guess because 20 seems so young still almost adolescent.

SuperCuteBenz

My DH's best friend is 34, and he just married a 21 year old. They have been dating for 3 years. It was weird to us in the beginning, but they are really happy together.

surprise3rd

I only think it is weird because she is 20 like many of the pp's said.  If it was 25 & 40 or 30 and 45 then I don't think it would be an issue at all, she is still basically a kid though and I think that is odd.

jessica1080

Bonidiebabe:

My DH and I are 13 years apart. It isn't that often that our age is an issue (maybe with music taste). I agree with PP that it is more about how young the younger person is.

I agree with this.  I was 22 and my DH was 36 when we met, so we are 14 years apart.  The only time age has really come up for us is when he talks about music from when he was a teenager!  We have been together almost 10 years, he didn't have any kids, but had been married previously. 

r9stedt

firefightersgal:

I think a 15 year gap isn't a huge deal...except that is is only 20 years old.

This. Someone else talked about the life experiences that differ in that age gap.


FI and I are 5 years apart, and I am amazed at the differences in us sometimes  Not so much maturity, but social references.  (Fragglerock, California Raisins, Desert Storm War, Rwandan Genocide, Hurricane Andrew, OKC bombing, Nelson Mandela, Matthew Shepard, The Elephant Show... Can you tell we were talking about things this weekend?) 

Littlejen22

AnnapolisLari:

15 years when she's 30 and he's 45? Not as big a deal.

15 years when she's not even old enough to drink legally? That's where the "ew" comes in for me.

This. And if I were the 35yo ex-wife I would be pissed to have some 20yo trying to play house with my family.  My DH is 11 years older than me and my SD is only 15 years younger than me but I was closer to 30 when I met her, not 20.

AlabamaMamma224

I tease my recently divorced male friend about this all the time.  He's 36 and is currently dating a 22 year old.  Dad of 3.  Some kind of EW factor there.  He got burned by his ex badly, and I chalk it up to an early midlife crisis.

Though DH and I are 9 years apart, and I was 22 when we met, but he'd never been married and had no kids....

I don't know why the kids factor makes a difference, but to me it does.

My parents were 20 years apart, but that never seemed odd to me, until I realized that when we went out ppl thought he was my grandfather.

ridesbuttons

mid

life

crisis

jcameron2010

There are 16 years between my DH and I. Nothing ew about it.

It is funny though, how a woman can be a cougar and date very young men and that be okay. But if a man wants to date a younger woman, people automatically assume pervert. Not everyone is nasty. Like it is really anyone's business anyway.